When Chuck Met Sarah - The Extended Version
by David Carner
Summary: What happens when two kids meet, become best friends, and believes the other would never consider them romantically? Taken from my OTP one-shot When Chuck Met Sarah, we expand the story and look at each year in their life. There will be angst and if you've read the one shot you know where. But you also know how it ends. AU (Gonna need your support on this one, guys)
1. Ch 1, 8th Birthday

A/N: You have asked for it, and I am writing it. Do you remember 1989? While this is AU, I'm trying to stick to some cannon parts the best I can. There may be tears… fine, I'm gonna cry at some point. There will be flat-out angst in spots, and if you read the one-shot you will know exactly where I mean. We're doing all of that, not to rip our hearts out, but to take this journey. If you're here, thank you. I'm gonna need you on this one. Ch 1, 8th Birthday.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

"Jenny," Emma called down the hallway. "Jennnny," she called again. "Damn you, Jack," Emma grumbled under her breath. "Sarah!"

"Did you call, mom?" Sarah asked, peeking her head out of her bedroom door.

Emma blew out a breath of frustration. She was her father's daughter. Everything had been fine until Jack had blown into town, almost a year ago. Then, he took off with Jenny, never telling Emma, and disappeared for six months. By the time they caught him, he'd changed Jenny's name to Sarah, and Sarah blamed Emma for Jack being in prison.

Sarah was as headstrong as her father, and fiercely loyal. They had come to a truce, of sorts. Sarah promised not to run away, so long as she could remain Sarah. Emma didn't care what she called her daughter, so long as she got to have her. The move to Burbank, and moving in with Emma's mom, had not been ideal. But her mom was sick, not getting any better, and needed her help. She knew if Jack got out, he'd stay far away from Ellen Truffaut.

"I'm going to work, you behave for your grandmother," Emma ordered, grabbing her purse. "I'll take you to school in the morning, and get you signed up for classes."

"I don't want to go to school. I didn't have to when I lived with dad," Sarah countered.

"Sarah, this isn't up for negotiation. You have to go to school, so you can grow up to be what you want to be, Sweetie."

"I want Dad, Mom. Don't you want Dad?"

Emma walked over to Sarah, squatted down, and took Sarah's upper arms in her hands. "Sarah, sometimes people lie to get others to do what they want; to give them money, to… well, they do it for all sorts of reasons. I loved who I thought your father was." Emma moved the hair out of Sarah's face. "You know he lied to you, too."

"Did he lie when he said he loved me?" Sarah asked, a tear in her eye.

"Sarah, I promise you, he loved you the best way he knew how." She pulled Sarah into a hug. "I have to go to work, okay?"

Sarah nodded, and watched her mom leave. That was the thing about her mom; she always came back. Her Dad never did.

}o{

"Granny, who are those two boys?" Sarah asked a half-hour later, watching out the window.

Ellen peered out of the window as well. "Oh, that's Chuck Bartowski and Morgan Grimes," she answered. "Morgan's having to move today. His mom and dad got a divorce, and she and her son are moving back to her mom's place back east."

"They look like they're crying," Sarah said, watching the two, filled with curiosity.

"They're both losing their best friend," Ellen said. "Wouldn't you cry?"

"Boys aren't supposed to cry," Sarah said. "That's what Dad said."

"I bet you can learn more from Chuck Bartowski than you can your dad, Sweetie," Ellen told her. "Why don't you go introduce yourself?"

"They don't know me," Sarah replied, a little glum.

"Sarah, Chuck Bartowski has never met a stranger. Now go."

Sarah shrugged and headed outside. She walked across the street and approached the two boys.

"You take them," the tall one said. He was shoving what looked to be two huge dolls into the hands of the shorter kid.

"No, I can't, you take them."

"I won't do it, Morgan," the tall one said. He had to be Chuck, Sarah surmised.

"Why are you two playing with dolls?" Sarah asked. They both looked up at her, somewhat surprised anyone talked to them, much less that it was a girl doing the talking.

"They're action figures," Morgan replied. "This one is Chewie," he said, holding up the brown one with plastic fur. "And this one is Han," he said, holding up the human-looking one in black and white clothing.

"Why don't you each take one?" she asked. They gasped in disbelief, simultaneously. "What?"

"They're us," Morgan explained. I'm Chewie, and he's Han." Sarah thought for a second.

"Then why don't you take Han, Chewie," she said to Morgan. She turned to Chuck. "And you take Chewie, Han. That way, you'll never be apart." Chuck just stared at her.

"Morgs, she makes a lot of sense," Chuck said.

"She does, buddy, she does," Morgan replied. They traded figures, and then they hugged each other. They let go, tears in their eyes, and Morgan hugged Sarah.

"What are you doing?" Sarah asked.

"I'm leaving, so I needed to hug Leia goodbye," Morgan explained.

"Morgan!" Chuck yelled.

"Sorry… goodbye, Chuck." Morgan turned to Sarah. "Goodbye… what is your name?"

"It's Sarah, Morgan," she said, wondering what she had gotten herself into. Morgan hugged her again, turned, and looked at his friend.

"Vicki Vale, Vicki Vale, Vick, Vick, Vicki Vale." Chuck shoved him, and then pulled him into a hug. Morgan headed toward the station wagon. He got in, and Chuck came over to stand beside Sarah. As the car pulled away, Chuck and Sarah waved.

"He is strange," Sarah said. "What was that weird chanting?"

"Very strange, but he _is_ my best friend," Chuck replied. "That was the Vicki Vale line from _Batman_. Have you seen it yet?"

"What's 'bat man'?" Sarah asked.

Chuck stared at her for a moment. "It's a movie… probably best if you go see it," he replied. "I'll go with you, if you want." He paused a second and then realized he hadn't introduced himself. "I'm Chuck." he said.

"Sarah. Sarah Walker." She had never met someone as open as he was. Dad clearly wouldn't have approved.

"Did you just move here?" Chuck asked. Sarah didn't say anything, thinking. "Sorry, that could be creepy, and I don't want to be creepy."

"You're not creepy, just… nice," Sarah admitted. "Granny said you never met a stranger."

"Granny?" Chuck asked. Sarah pointed to her new home. "OH! Miss Truffaut? She's awesome! She makes the best cookies."

"I've not had any," Sarah admitted.

"What?" Chuck replied, stunned. "Come on," he said, leading her to her house. Chuck knocked on the door, but Sarah tapped him on the shoulder. Chuck moved out of the way. Sarah opened the door and led him in.

"Chuck Bartowski!" Ellen said. "What are you doing here?"

"I just met your granddaughter, and she said she hadn't had any of your cookies."

"I thought we talked about this, Chuck. You can't be telling people about the cookies," Ellen scolded, playfully.

"But Miss Truffaut, it's your granddaughter!" Chuck protested.

She chuckled at him. "Come on," she said, leading them both into the kitchen.

"I didn't know you made cookies, Granny," Sarah admitted.

"Well, you've been holed up in your room since you've gotten here," Ellen said. "Maybe if you came out, you'd have met this nice young man sooner."

"Can she come with me to see Batman?" Chuck asked. "I'll be glad to pay."

"Like a date?" Ellen asked, grinning at him.

"Oh, no Ma'am! I'm too young to date." Chuck looked at Sarah. "You know what, she probably wouldn't even like it." He slumped a little. "I'm so used to Morgan doing all those things with me."

Ellen studied him for a moment. "I'll be right back, Chuck," she said, patting him on the shoulder and walking into the other room. Sarah watched him, his shoulders slouched. She found she didn't like it when Chuck wasn't happy.

"What it's like having a best friend?" Sarah asked.

Chuck grinned and raised his head. "It's THE BEST." Sarah smiled at his enthusiasm. "You can tell them anything, and they don't judge. You have a friend no matter what, someone you can count on. It's not like Morgan wanted to move, he had to. I'll miss talking to him, and hanging out. He always had my back."

"He seemed a little short to cover your back," Sarah said, thinking about the height differences.

Chuck gave her a look. "I mean, no matter what the odds were against me, he was with me."

"Oh, that sounds… nice," Sarah admitted.

"Haven't you ever had a best friend?" Sarah shook her head. "That's terrible."

"Can a boy be a girl's best friend, and a girl be a boy's best friend?" Sarah asked.

"I don't think there's a rule against it," Chuck replied. "Although I think when they get older, they kiss and date and stuff."

Sarah shook her head. "No," she said softly. "I don't want that, because when people start kissing, they start fighting with each other."

"Well, I guess that could be _your_ best friend rule," Chuck replied, shrugging.

"No kissing?" she said. Chuck nodded. "Okay, then, would you want to be my best friend?" She paused a second, and then added quickly, "And no kissing when we get older."

"What about Morgan?" Chuck asked.

Sarah thought for a second. "You can kiss him if you want."

"No, I meant he's still my best friend," Chuck reminded her.

"Do you think you could have two best friends?" Sarah asked. Chuck thought about it and nodded. Sarah smiled. "Thank you, Chuck."

"Hey, sport, I see you met a new friend," Stephen said, as Ellen walked him into the kitchen.

"I did," Chuck replied. "Dad, this is Sarah, and she's never had a best friend. So, since Morgan isn't around, I'm going to be her best friend."

"That's…" Stephen looked to Ellen, who shrugged. "That's good, son." He turned to Sarah, a soft smile on his face. "Sarah, can you do me a favor?"

"I don't know, I don't know you," Sarah said.

"Sarah, this is Chuck's dad, Mr. Bartowski. He's been a good friend and neighbor for years," Ellen explained.

"My son… well, he's missing Morgan." Sarah looked at Chuck. "He really likes that movie _Batman_, but I really don't want to watch it with him again. Would you go in my place? I'll buy the ticket, and popcorn."

"As friends," Chuck said. Sarah nodded and turned to Stephen.

"As friends."

}o{

Sarah sat with Emma at the school the next morning, humming _Batdance_. "I think we're done," Miss Jones said, smiling at Emma and Sarah. "Are there any questions?"

"Can I be in the same classes as Chuck?" Sarah asked. Miss Jones looked over at Emma.

"He's her friend," Emma explained. "Chuck Bartowski."

"Oh, sweetie, no. He's going to be in third grade and you're going to be in second grade," Miss Jones explained.

"Then I want to be in third grade," Sarah replied, shrugging.

"Sweetie, it doesn't work like that," Emma said.

"Dad would have gotten me into third grade," Sarah said, not to be mean, but because it was true. The path of least resistance, when it came to Sarah, was the path followed. "He's my only friend."

Miss Jones had a look on her face that Emma caught. Emma nodded for her to continue. "There are tests…"

}o{

A few hours later, Sarah was still humming _Batdance_. "So now what?"

"Well, you did well enough to be in third grade…" Miss Jones began. She glanced at Sarah and then back to Emma. "But, she might struggle in some areas."

"I don't want to see her get behind," Emma said, preparing for the fight.

"I can get her in the same class with the Bartowski boy, and he could help her…" Miss Jones said. "He helps a lot of kids."

Emma gave Miss Jones a look. "He's a young boy," Emma began. "Why… what …"

Miss Jones grinned. "Here's the thing: Chuck wants everyone to succeed. He's willing to go the extra mile, and with Morgan moving away…" She looked over at Sarah. "What if we try it for nine weeks, and if it doesn't work, we move her back?" Emma nodded slowly, thinking. "Perhaps you should talk to the Bartowskis." Emma had a look on her face. "Trust me, where Chuck is concerned, they've had stranger conversations."

}o{

"So, what's that?" Sarah asked, pointing to a poster on the wall.

"That's my Tron movie poster," Chuck said, grinning. "That's my and Dad's favorite movie."

"Can we watch it some time?" Sarah asked.

"Sure," Chuck replied. Emma had come over to the Bartowskis, after assurances from Miss Jones that it was okay. She was telling Mary and Stephen what was going on, and seeing if they had any suggestions. Chuck showed Sarah his room in the meantime. "I'm sorry about Morgan the other day."

Sarah looked up from his transformer collection. "What about?"

"Well, Morgan implied you were Vicky Vale, and then he said you were the Leia to my Han," Chuck explained. Sarah was still confused. "He thinks you should be my…"

"Oh," Sarah said. "It's not your fault, Chuck," she said, shrugging. She was silent for a bit. "Do your parents ever fight?" she asked softly.

"I mean, yeah, but, don't all adults fight, sometimes?" Chuck asked.

"Does yours ever leave?" Sarah asked.

"No," Chuck replied. "They might get mad, but eventually they aren't, and then… they kiss a lot."

"My Dad left, and last time he took me," Sarah said, looking out the window, and thought about how her dad had taught her to break into a similar design. She was sure she could this one, as well. "I liked being with Dad, it was fun. We got to go places, but, we never could stay."

"You miss him?" Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. "If you ever leave again, will you tell me goodbye?"

Sarah turned, and looked at him. "I will… and I'll still be your best friend," she said. She walked over and hugged him.

"What are you doing?" Chuck asked.

Sarah looked at him. "You hugged Morgan." Chuck thought about it, decided she was right, and hugged her back.

}o{

Ellen led Sarah into the comic book store. "Now, we need to find Chuck a present," Ellen said. "What does he like?"

"Everything here," Sarah replied. Ellen chuckled. The remaining summer had gone well. Chuck and Sarah had become inseparable. She taught him how to ride his bike; he worked with her on some things for school. Mary and Stephen had no problem with Chuck helping Sarah, and told Emma she was welcome at their house any time. Sunday dinners soon included three new spots, as Ellen, Emma, and Sarah were included.

Ellie and Sarah were slowly becoming friends, as well. Ellie was happy that Chuck had a friend, and admitted to Sarah that she kind of missed Morgan, as well, but she couldn't tell Chuck.

"Well, can you find something he doesn't have, that you think he might find special?" Ellen asked.

"I can try," Sarah said, and for the next forty-five minutes, she scoured the store. Everything she thought he'd like, she thought he might already have. She looked up at the bored cashier. "Excuse me," Sarah said. The teenager didn't roll her eyes, but it seemed it took an almost-Herculean effort on her part not to. "I need to find something for a friend, that lost his best friend. Is there some other comic that has something like a Wookie?"

"Only Star Wars has Wookies, kid," the cashier replied.

"But are there any other furry characters?" Sarah asked. "Something that has a best friend, the way Han and Chewie were?"

"What do you want, Friendship Bear from Care Bears?" the teenager asked. Sarah's eyes lit up. "Seriously?"

Sarah nodded.

}o{

"Granny, I can't go to Chuck's party," Sarah said, the morning of the party. "I've read the comic book, and it's nothing like what he likes."

"I don't understand, you thought it was perfect," Ellen said, confused.

Sarah held up the comic. "Granny, it was supposed to be something that would remind Chuck of Morgan, since Morgan was Chewie. But these are just bears that… well, they're not something Chuck would like."

"Well, your best friend is expecting you, and if you don't go, it will hurt him," Ellen said, upsetting Sarah. "Go, wrap the present, and tell him why you bought it."

"But he'll hate it," Sarah protested.

"Sarah, give him a chance. If you tell him why it made you think of him, he may love it," Ellen replied. "Tomorrow, we'll make him a cupcake with a candle in it, since that's his actual birthday."

Sarah nodded, and put the comic in the paper bag. She taped the bag shut, making sure not to get any tape on the comic. She walked over to Chuck's house, and opened the door… they did say she was family, after all. She came inside, and saw Mary.

"Sarah! Good to see you, you're the first one here. Chuck's in his bedroom."

Sarah went down the hall to Chuck's bedroom, and found him sitting on the bed working on a huge Transformer. His eyes lit up when he saw her.

"Sarah! Look, I got an early birthday gift! Mom and Dad gave me an Omega Supreme Transformer and the Transformers Movie!" He hopped off the bed, went over to the door, shut it, and came back. "They say bad words in it," he whispered, conspiratorially. Sarah's eyebrows raised. "You're coming tomorrow too, right?" he continued, in a normal voice.

"Why do you get two birthdays?" Sarah asked.

"I like my friends, but I want my family with me on my birthday. So that's why we're having the friend party today, and the family comes to Sunday dinner."

"I'm not family, Chuck," Sarah replied.

"Sarah! Of _course_ you're family," Chuck replied. "You're my best friend, you belong in this family." Sarah blinked away tears. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No, I got you the worst gift ever, and I did it because I thought it was a good thing," Sarah began.

"Hey, whatever it is, it's fine. I don't need anything from you… only that you're here," Chuck said.

Sarah thrust the bag out to him, and he took it. "I asked for another comic that had wookies, or something like them. The cashier told me about these bears, and one of them was friendship bear, and I thought…" Chuck pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you, Sarah," Chuck said softly. "Thank you for thinking of me and Morgan. I love it."

"You like Care Bears?" she asked, pulling away.

"No, I hate 'em. But you… this is a thoughtful gift, and that, I appreciate." He took the comic, and placed it on the bookshelf.

"You only put the most valuable comics there," Sarah said.

"I know," Chuck replied, grinning at her. Sarah smiled at him.

}o{

The next afternoon, there was a knock on Chuck's door.

"Chuck, go answer the door, it's probably for you," Mary said. She and Stephen stood in the hallway where they could watch. He opened the door, and Sarah stood there with a cupcake in her hand, a single candle burning atop it.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: I really hope you guys are enjoying this, because… it's gonna get rough as we go. I've alluded to things in the one shot, and we will explore them all, plus Jack is far from done in this story. Reviews would be lovely. Do you want me to keep it going? Is this what you were expecting? DC


	2. Ch 2, 9th Birthday

A/N: 1989-90. We have friendship, we have 7 and 8 yr olds. I'm not saying any of my pre-readers sniffled and cried… I'm not saying they didn't. Ch 2, 9th Birthday

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"Where's Paul?" Chuck asked, after looking around the lunch table and not seeing him.

"Moved," Anna replied. Chuck looked over at her. "Parents divorced." She shrugged as if to say, "what can you do?"

"Is his dad still here?" Chuck asked. "He was always really friendly to my dad." Anna stared at him for a second. "What?"

"He's living with another man now," Anna explained. Chuck blinked.

"He thought your dad was cute," Sarah explained. "Do you want the rest of those chips?"

"No," he said, scooting them to her. "So, Paul and his Mom moved?" Chuck asked Anna. She nodded. Chuck looked over at Sarah. "I don't want you to move."

"I don't want to, either," she agreed. "But if my mom makes me, what can I do."

"You could get married," Skip offered. "To each other, and then your parents couldn't make you move."

"No, because kissing leads to divorce, and then moving," Sarah retorted.

"So, don't kiss," Skip said, shrugging. "My parents never kiss."

"But," Sarah began, looked at Chuck, and paused.

"What if you want to marry someone else when you get older?" he offered, knowing someone as cool as Sarah would never date him, or want to be married to him.

"Yeah," Sarah replied, knowing one day, he would want someone as nerdy as he was to be married to him. She came from a family history of letting people down, and she never wanted to let Chuck down.

"We can get a divorce then, and it's our choice if we stay close or not," Chuck reasoned. "But I know you don't want to marry me."

"No kissing?" Sarah asked.

"You have to for the ceremony, it's required," Anna said.

"Okay, just for the ceremony, and I'm not changing my name," Sarah added.

"Do I have to change mine?" Chuck asked.

"No, it just doesn't sound right," Sarah replied, shaking her head.

"Who can we get to do the wedding?" Chuck asked.

"I can," Anna replied. Everyone looked at her. "My parents are diplomats, so I'm sure I can."

"I see no way this doesn't work," Skip assured Chuck and Sarah. "But, you gotta propose, and give her a ring." Chuck turned around, dug in his bookbag, and found a sucker ring.

"Will you marry me, and not move?" Chuck asked.

"Do I get to eat the sucker?" Sarah asked. Chuck looked torn for a second. "I'm just messing with you, Chuck. Yes, I don't want to move, so we can get married."

"When?" Anna asked. "I've got violin practice today, and jujitsu tomorrow afternoon."

"What about Saturday?" Sarah asked. "Don't we have to find something blue, and borrow someone old?"

"No, it's something old, something new," Anna corrected. "What about your sister, would she be old?"

"She's older than us," Skip said. "Ask her, Chuck."

"I feel like that's how I get punched," Chuck said.

"Granny," Sarah said. "She's old."

"Okay, something new," Anna said. Everyone sat quietly, and thought.

"What about your new Sega?" Skip asked.

"What am I supposed to do, play it during the wedding?" Chuck asked. The others went back to talking, and Chuck leaned over to Sarah. "I checked out those books you asked me too," he whispered.

"Thanks," Sarah replied. "Not a word."

"Best friend promise," Chuck replied. It hit him. "We can get you a new public library card."

"That would work, but I've provided something old and new," Sarah reminded him.

"I can wear a blue shirt," Chuck offered. "And I can borrow something from Ellie!"

"Okay, now, what about rings?" Sarah asked.

"Could we pinky swear?" Chuck asked Anna.

"Works for me," Anna answered, as the bell rang, and they went back to class.

}o{

Chuck and Sarah left the school and began the walk home. "So, why can't you check out the books?" Chuck asked.

"I read fast, and if I read them fast, the librarian might notice," Sarah said. "Daddy always told me not to be noticed, if I could help it."

Chuck was quiet as they walked. "Why would he do that?" he asked. She gave him a look. "I'm not saying he's wrong," Chuck quickly added. "But my parents always want me to celebrate what I've accomplished."

Sarah was quiet for a minute. "Do you think my Dad is a bad person?" Sarah asked. "Mom is always telling me that he's not who I think he is, and I think she's just mad at him, but… she's right, he never asks to see me." She looked at Chuck, and then back down at the ground. She kicked a rock, and sat on a concrete wall that lined the sidewalk. Chuck sat down beside her.

Neither said anything for a few moments. "You know, Granny says that I love Daddy too much to see what he does wrong." She sniffed. "I just want them to live together, and take me on a trip that I can enjoy, then come home." Chuck looked at her, and she glanced over at him. "I wish I had your family," she said softly.

"You do," Chuck reminded her. "You're part of it." He sat there a second, gathering his thoughts. "You're a part of our family, until you decide you're not. I think that's what's going on with your dad. He's not part of your family, until he's around you, and you're the only one who accepts him back."

"So, I shouldn't let him be a part of my family?" Sarah asked.

Chuck shook his head. "No." He took a deep breath. "He's your Dad, but you know what he does. You have to decide for you when he doesn't get to be. It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks."

"What if I make the wrong decision?" Sarah asked.

Chuck shrugged. "I think that's part of it. Sometimes we make wrong decisions, but that's why we have friends here to have our back." Chuck put his arm around her shoulder, and she leaned into him.

"Thanks, Chuck," she said softly.

"That's what friends are for."

}o{

Sarah came into the house holding two books. "What are you reading, Sarah?" Ellen asked. Sarah stood there, and then held the books out like she had been caught committing some great heist, and she just gave up. "_The Babysitters Club_?" Sarah's head was hung low. "Why are you upset?"

"Because I'm trying to read books to help do better in school," Sarah answered. Ellen just stared at her. Sarah's shoulders slumped. "I like them," she muttered.

"What's wrong with liking books?" Ellen asked. Sarah lifted her head, tears in her eyes. "Ahh," she said. This was probably something Jack hadn't encouraged, and most likely discouraged. "Sarah Walker, you read anything you want in this house, do you understand?" Sarah smiled at her. "You are to be happy here, do you understand?"

"Yes, Granny," Sarah replied. "So, what are you doing Saturday?"

"Why?" Ellen asked.

}o{

"Ellie," Chuck tentatively said outside her door. The door opened, and Ellie stared at him. "I need your help with Sarah." Ellie studied him.

"Come in," she said, opening the door. Chuck walked in, and took a seat in the chair in front of her desk. "I'm scared Sarah's going to leave."

"Why would she leave?" Ellie asked, sitting on her bed, glad to talk to Chuck about anything other than nerdy stuff.

"Something happened between her mom and dad, and I'm afraid her mom may move away some day," Chuck explained. "So, we've decided to get married." Ellie raised an eyebrow. "Not permanently, but until she and I graduate, and then we get divorced and marry who we love."

"What if you love each other?" Ellie asked. Chuck looked insulted. "It could happen."

"Ellie, it can't. She says that when people fall in love and start kissing, they fight and get divorced, and move away."

Ellie studied him for a minute. "Holy crap, you're serious about all of this. Okay, what can I do?"

"Can I borrow some books from you?" Chuck asked, grinning. Ellie followed his gaze. "Sarah loves _The Babysitter Club_ books."

}o{

Sarah and Ellen came over later that afternoon. Sarah and Chuck went outside to hang out, and Mary, Stephen, Ellen, and Ellie sat in the kitchen and talked.

"I'm telling you, Mom," Ellie said again. "He said he's marrying her, so she doesn't leave."

"But that's not the way it works," Stephen pointed out, again.

"Honey, this is through the eyes of eight-year-olds," Mary reminded him. "She's lost her dad, he's lost Morgan, so…"

"Mom, surely you're not suggesting letting them go through with it?" Ellie asked.

Mary turned to Ellen. "What do you think?"

"I think not only do we let them go through with it, but we help them, and record it, so as to torment them with it for the rest of their lives," Ellen said, grinning. "Since Sarah has met Chuck, she has been happier than I've ever seen her. Emma is having to work crazy hours to try and support them, and you know…"

"How are you feeling?" Stephen asked.

"Okay," Ellen said, shrugging. "I'm in remission now so…" she spread her hands.

"Hopefully, you will continue to be," Mary said, squeezing her hand.

"If my granddaughter wants to get married," Ellen said softly. "I know, chances are it will be to someone else in the future, but…" Ellen trailed off. "Did you know they want me to be their 'something old'?" The entire table burst out into laughter.

}o{

"Do we have to sleep in the same bed?" Chuck asked.

"No, why?" Sarah asked.

"That seems to be a big deal on TV," Chuck replied.

"I think that has something to do with the kissing, as well," Sarah said. Chuck nodded. "Did you find something borrowed?"

Chuck smiled at Sarah. "Ellie's gonna let you borrow her _Babysitter Club_ books so you don't have to have someone sneak-check them out."

"You didn't really sneak-check them out," Sarah pointed out.

"Yes, I did," Chuck protested.

"Did anyone see you?" Sarah asked.

"The librarian, who checked them out," Chuck replied. Sarah gave him a look, Chuck thought about it, and blinked a few times. "I guess you're right."

}o{

The wedding was the event of the neighborhood that Saturday. Sarah wore jeans and a t-shirt, her new library card in her pocket. She carried one of Ellie's _Babysitters Club_ books, glaring at anyone who dare ask about it. Chuck had on his Chuck's, dark jeans, and a blue shirt. Ellen had found Sarah a blue blouse with little white buttons, but Sarah turned her nose up at it. Anna presided over the ceremony, and at the end a rousing pinkie-swear was given between the two. Mary provided a cake, and other snack refreshments. After it was over, Emma found herself sitting in a chair by herself, when Chuck came over to her.

"I'm sorry," Chuck said, looking down at the ground, appearing to be legitimately upset.

"What's wrong, Chuck?" Emma asked.

"I didn't ask for permission to marry Sarah, but that seems weird to ask a parent's permission to marry their kids," Chuck began.

"Honey, you're spiraling," Emma said, trying not to laugh.

"Sorry," Chuck said. "What I was trying to say is, I hope you think I'm good enough for her."

"Chuck, I can say this with 100% certainty: You are the best man in her life," Emma said, moving one of his curls off his forehead. "She's lucky to have you."

"Not nearly as lucky as I am to have her for a friend," Chuck replied. "I don't know if you know, but I'm a bit of a nerd."

"Hadn't noticed, sweetheart," Emma said with a straight face.

"She protects me sometimes, and then they make fun of me because she's a girl, but who cares, you know?"

"Who cares," Emma parroted. Chuck stood there. "Chuck, you need to be honest with her, always. When you don't, that's when you'll have trouble."

"Of course I will, she's my friend," Chuck said.

"Chuck… you know what, go enjoy the party. Are you going on a honeymoon?"

"No, Sarah says when you start kissing, that's when things go wrong," Chuck told her.

"She's not wrong on my account," Emma muttered. Chuck mumbled bye, and walked away. "Those two are going to be a spectacular explosion one day."

}o{

The semester rolled on, and Christmas was approaching. It was the first Saturday in December, when there came a knock on the door. Chuck opened it, and there stood Emma and Sarah.

"Do you celebrate Christmas?" Emma asked. Chuck's eyes went wide.

"WHO DOESN'T?!"

}o{

Chuck joined Emma and Sarah in some shopping at the mall. Chuck walked around, looking at all the decorations, his face lit up. "Isn't this wonderful, Sarah?"

"I guess," she said, shrugging. Chuck looked over at her, saw the look on her face, took her hand, and guided them to a bench.

"Do you want to talk about it, or should I sing Christmas Carols?"

Sarah glared at him. "Anyone else I'd call their bluff, but you're not bluffing. We never could afford Christmas, according to my Dad." She looked away. "Last year I dressed as an elf, as Dad raised money for a charity, and rang a bell dressed as Santa Claus."

"That's amazing!"

"_We_ were the charity," Sarah said.

"Oh," Chuck said, and then it dawned on him. "OH!"

"Yeah," Sarah said. "I just need to talk to Dad… I'm sure…" Tears were in her eyes. Chuck put his arm around her and pulled her in.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Sarah sniffled into his shoulder. "But thank you."

"Hey, I have an idea," Chuck said. Sarah looked up at him, and recognized that look. "Let's got to the Hallmark Store."

"Do we have to?" Sarah asked.

"Silent Night or Jingle Bells," he threatened. Sarah hopped up, took his hand, and dragged him into the Hallmark Store. That would teach him to threaten her. She glanced at him, and he didn't appear to be upset at all that she was dragging him. In fact, he looked like he trusted her, completely.

"Okay, what did you want to show me?" she asked. He grinned and led her to the ornaments. "What are you doing?"

"You have a choice, I'm buying you one," Chuck explained. "You can either have baby's first Christmas, or our first Christmas together."

"That's one of those kissy ones!" Sarah objected.

"I see nothing kissy about it," Chuck replied. "All I see is two people, having their first Christmas together."

"Fine," she relented, a small smile on her face. Chuck grinned at her. "No mistletoe!"

"I would never," Chuck said, raising his hands. He picked up the ornament, and took it up front to purchase. Sarah looked at the remaining ornaments. She had to admit to herself, she felt like she had a home for the first time in her life.

}o{

Christmas came and went, Chuck and Sarah spending the majority of the day together. Winter turned to spring, spring to summer, and before they knew it, it was back to school time. A week before his birthday, Sarah gave him something inside a paper bag. He opened it, and looked down to see _Care Bears_ issue #2. He looked at her, and she had a smile on her face.

"I've always heard that a whole set makes them more valuable," Sarah replied, shrugging. Chuck hugged her, took the comic, and put it with #1.

"You do know there's only 20 issues, right?" Chuck asked, grinning.

She shrugged. "I've got 18 years to figure something else out."

"Promise?" Chuck asked.

"Chuck, I promise, trust me," she said softly. She put her arm around his shoulder. "Now, what's so special about these new Detective Comics?"

"Oh, they're written by Alan Grant…" Chuck began to explain, and she listened, feeling warmth inside about her friend being so excited, and telling her about his excitement. This was family. He was her family, and she didn't care what she had to do… she was sure she'd do anything to keep him happy and safe.

A week later, on the morning of his birthday, there was a knock at the door. He had no idea who it could be, that early. He walked over, opened the door, and Sarah stood there with a cupcake in her hand, a single candle burning atop it.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Married by chapter 2, that might new a new record… WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T COUNT!? As I'm typing this, I'm looking over at the chapter titles (x birthday) and realize I have more plotting done on this than any fic I've ever written. I may have to split chapters, depending what happens. I'm slated through birthday 30, but I'm thinking of adding 50 and 70. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think, please. I'm gonna need you guys in this one. It's going to be heartbreaking at times. DC


	3. Ch 3, 10th Birthday

A/N 1: First a bit of housekeeping. I swear someone asked this in a review, PM, or email, or something, but I can't find it for the life of me. The chapter title is the birthday the chapter will end on. So currently Chuck is 9, Sarah 8, and when we get to the end, he'll be 10. If I split chapters for length, it will be x birthday pt 1, does that help clear up any confusion? According to the Chuck time line wikia page, Sarah's birthday is in May, and during that time through September, she and Chuck are the same age. I'm going with that.

A/N 2: 1990-1991. It's just been fluff ball city hasn't it…..David….why? Because, life is like this. As much as later chapters when they're dating other people are going to hurt, this one and one coming up soon may hurt as much, or more.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

Sarah opened the door to the Bartowski home, and went inside. It was a school planning day in October and, as was the norm, one or the other was constantly at the other's home when they weren't in school. "Chuck," she called out.

"I'm in the bedroom," he answered. She headed down to Chuck's bedroom, and went inside. "Hey, Sarah."

"Hi, Chuck," Sarah said softly. She sat down on his bed beside him watching him play video games. "Granny is still in bed… do you think she's okay?"

"Is she talking?" Chuck asked, growing concerned.

"She is, but when she does, she sounds… out of it. She says it's just a cold but… she says she feels like throwing up, and everything is spinning." Chuck shut off his game, put his shoes on, walked over to Ellie's room, and knocked on the door.

The door flung open, "What?"

"Miss Truffaut is still in bed, and dizzy," Chuck said softly. Ellie's eyes widened, and she shut her door.

"What's she doing?" Sarah asked.

"Probably grabbing her medical book. She wants to be a brain doctor someday," Chuck explained.

"What does that have to do with Granny?" Sarah asked.

Chuck looked at her, understanding dawning on him. "Did your mom ever tell you what was wrong with your granny?" Sarah shook her head, and at that moment, Ellie yanked the door open, book in hand.

"Let's go," Ellie commanded.

"Wait," Sarah said, concern on her face. "What was my granny sick with?"

Ellie looked at Chuck. "She had brain cancer, Sarah," Chuck said softly. "They said it was a miracle she lived."

Sarah stood there, stunned, barely able to speak. She blinked tears away and looked from Chuck to Sarah, almost as if she was trying to get either of them to admit this was a terrible practical joke.

"Stay with Sarah, Chuck. I'm going over there," Ellie replied. "Sarah, where's your mom?"

"She was picking up extra shifts at the hospital," Sarah replied, tears streaming down her face. "I've barely even seen her in two weeks."

Ellie nodded, and bolted from the house. Chuck wrapped his arms around Sarah, and she began to cry.

}o{

In twenty minutes, both Stephen and Mary had returned home. They went quickly to see about Miss Truffaut. Stephen came back inside to find Chuck and Sarah sitting on the couch, Sarah leaning against his shoulder.

"Sarah," Stephen said softly. "We're gonna take you to the hospital to see your granny, okay?" Sarah nodded. "Your mom's already working on getting her a room there."

"I want Chuck to come with me," Sarah said to Stephen.

"Of course, honey." Stephen took a deep breath. "You may have to stay here for a few nights. Is that okay?"

She nodded. "I have two stuffed animals I sleep with. Is that okay, Chuck?"

"Sure," Chuck replied.

Stephen started to say something, but realized this was something probably best left to Mary to sort out. Stephen loaded the two in the car. Mary had already taken Ellen and Ellie on ahead. When they got there, Ellie was standing downstairs waiting for them.

"She's been admitted," Ellie told them, glancing from her dad to Sarah. "I was told you'll be staying with us. Do you want the side of my bed by the wall, or the one that's open?"

"I'm sleeping with Chuck," Sarah told Ellie. Ellie glanced at her dad.

"Honey," Stephen began.

"Don't let him hog the covers," Ellie said. She looked at Chuck. "Your friend needs you." Chuck just nodded and started to speak. She shook her head and mouthed, _Later._

}o{

Sarah was with Emma in a private room, talking. They had been to see Ellen, and a lot of doctor-speak was used. Chuck found his sister sitting on an ugly chair, covered in a mixture of brown and red fabric. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know," Ellie said, patting the seat beside her. "I've read a lot about it, but… Chuck, you need to be there for Sarah. Her granny could die."

"What would Sarah do?" Chuck asked. Ellie pressed her lips together, and shook her head.

"I don't know, Chuck. I don't know." Chuck sat there quietly for a minute. "One day, I'm going to figure all of this out, about the brain." Ellie sounded resolute.

"I know you will Ellie, but is this a brain problem?"

"It is… but it isn't," Ellie admitted. The door opened, and Emma and Sarah came toward them down the hall.

"Hey, thank you," Emma said. "Both of you. I've been working so much…" she trailed off, a haunted look in her eyes. "Between mom being sick, and all the extra shifts I'm getting here… Sarah may be staying with you guys for a while. Is that okay? I know your mom and dad said it was, but it may be… well…"

"Of course it's fine," Ellie said. "She's like the little sister I always wanted." Chuck turned to his sister and stuck his tongue out, making Emma laugh.

"Chuck?" Emma asked.

"My best friend, hanging out at my house, all the time? I'd love it!" Chuck said. Sarah tackle-hugged him. "Are you okay?" She shook her head against him, and Chuck looked up at Emma.

"Um… it seems Sarah thinks you two are sharing a bed?" Emma began.

"Yeah," Chuck replied. Emma looked at Ellie, who shrugged. Emma watched the two. Over the past couple of years, she had watched Sarah protect Chuck physically, while he had always protected her emotionally. More importantly, he had protected her heart.

Emma shook her head, chuckled, and blew out a breath. "Okay," she said, relenting, knowing right now, Sarah needed him. Emma headed back down the hall to see Mary and Stephen, and to talk to them about arrangements.

"Chuck will you go with me to see Granny?" Sarah asked. Chuck didn't say anything, instead just offering her his hand. They walked down to Granny's room, and entered. A mask hissed softly on her face, making sure she got enough oxygen.

"Granny," Sarah said softly. Ellen turned to her. "Please don't die."

Ellen reached out, and took her hand. "Listen… I beat this once, and I'll beat it again, but I need you to be good while you stay with Chuck."

"She'll be fine," Chuck said. "I'll take care of her, and you get better."

"You promise me you'll always take care of her Chuck Bartowski?" Ellen asked, looking him in the eye.

"Of course I will," Chuck promised.

"No matter how bad things get?"

"Always," Chuck replied.

"Kids, we need to go," Mary said, coming into the room. "Visiting hours are over." Sarah slipped her hand from Chuck's, and went to Ellen's bedside, hugging her.

"Love you, Granny," Sarah said softly.

"Love you, Sarah," Ellen replied.

Chuck and Sarah left the room with Mary. Sarah took his hand as they walked to the car. They both got into the back seat, Chuck never letting go. Mary watched the two as they drove home.

"Are you hungry, Sarah?" Mary asked.

Sarah shook her head. "No, Mrs. Bartowski, I just want to go to sleep." Mary gave her an understanding smile. They pulled up to the house a few minutes later. Sarah got out of the car, still holding Chuck's hand. She led him to the bedroom, took off her coat and shoes, and crawled into bed. Chuck did the same, and Sarah laid her head against him, crying herself to sleep.

}o{

"Can I have your Krackle," Sarah asked as they walked down the street. Chuck was digging into his bag to find the miniature candy bar. He was dressed as Donatello of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Sarah as Leonardo. He pulled it out, and handed it to her. She unwrapped it, and bit into it.

"Didn't your mom say not to eat any candy until she had a chance to x-ray it?" Chuck asked. Sarah shrugged. "Hey, talk to me."

"Aren't you tired of me?" she asked. Chuck gave her a confused look. "You see me at school, I come home with you, I eat dinner with you, I sleep in your bed with you, and you never seem to get tired."

"You're my best friend… why would I?" Chuck asked, shrugging.

"Please, always be my best friend," she said softly. "I don't know… I don't know what I'd do if she dies, and…" she started to cry. Chuck wrapped his arms around her.

"Deal, but you have to let your mom x-ray the candy, okay? I need you to be safe." Sarah nodded. "Now come on, the Johnson's are up the street, and they give out full size candy bars." Sarah's eyes got wide. "I hear they even have Mr. Goodbars." Sarah took off like a shot, leaving Chuck behind. "Wait for me!"

}o{

Fall turned into Winter, Christmas and New Years' were celebrated, and Valentine's Day approached.

"Did you _have_ to hit him?" Chuck asked, sitting outside the principal's office with Sarah.

"I told him I wasn't his valentine, and he kept on and on. You didn't have to get involved," Sarah replied.

"Uh, I absolutely did… Jimmy's friend Zac was about to tackle you," Chuck replied. He was silent a second. "Sorry I missed him, and crashed into you." Sarah snickered. "I hope Jimmy's nose isn't broken, where Zac missed you and tackled him accidentally."

"There was a LOT of blood," Sarah replied, her eyes wide. The principal's door opened, both looking up.

"In the car, Sarah," Emma said, anger on her face.

"Miss Burton," Chuck began.

"Chuck, STAY OUT of it!" Emma yelled.

"That's not fair!" Sarah yelled back at her mom. "He's the only person that even cares about me, and takes up for me!" Sarah ran down the hallway, her mom watching her go.

"Chuck," Emma began. Chuck ignored her and ran after Sarah.

}o{

He found her, where she always went to hide; the roof. "You do know I'm afraid of heights, right?" Chuck asked.

"What are you doing up here?" Sarah asked, helping him find a seat. "I hate living here."

"I know," Chuck said softly. She looked at him. "You miss your dad, you miss your Granny, and your mom is always working. But she's doing it to help you and your Granny."

"It just sucks, Chuck. I hate it." Chuck nodded and scooted closer to her.

"Sarah, will you hold me?" Chuck asked. She looked at him. "I'm afraid I'm going to fall off the roof." She began to chuckle at him, but wrapped her arm around him. "Just promise me you'll tell me bye when you go, okay?"

"You'll always be my best friend, Chuck," she said.

}o{

Sarah stayed at home with Emma that night, and Chuck found he couldn't sleep. He went into the living room and found his mom still up. She was watching TV, but not really paying attention to it.

"Been wondering when you'd come out here," Mary said, a smile on her face.

"How'd you know?" Chuck asked.

"Chuck, you are too good a person not to let Sarah and Emma's fight bother you," Mary said, taking a sip of wine. She patted the couch. "I need to tell you some stuff. Not for you to repeat, not for you to judge Sarah, or Emma, but to understand the impossible place they are both coming from." Chuck nodded.

"Sarah's dad is not a good man… but he's not a bad man either. Well, he is, but he doesn't physically hurt people. He's a con artist."

"Like that movie _The Sting_?" Chuck asked.

"A lot like that, yes," Mary explained. "Jack, Sarah's father, gave Sarah whatever she wanted, to keep her happy. And then he used her as part of his con."

"That's not right," Chuck muttered. Mary pressed her lips together and nodded. "So… he doesn't love her?"

"I don't know, Sweetie," Mary admitted. "But, Emma had him put in jail, because he took her away without permission." Chuck didn't know what to say to that.

"Sarah and Ellen get along, because she can talk to Sarah about Jack in a way that… well, she isn't hurt. And Emma is very hurt with what Jack did, and is probably still doing. Emma is working all these shifts to try and afford everything for the three of them, and her mother is in the hospital with cancer, and then, THIS happens."

"But, Sarah didn't do anything wrong," Chuck protested.

"I know, Baby," Mary said. "And now Emma does, but Emma is under ridiculous amounts of stress."

"How can we help?" Chuck asked. Mary smiled at him, and pulled him close, rubbing his head through the mop of curls.

"We're doing everything we can," Mary said. "You just keep being Sarah's friend."

"Always," Chuck promised. "I will always be there for her."

Mary pulled away, and looked at him. "Chuck, you can't know that."

"I will," Chuck promised. "Whatever I have to do, I will, so she always has a friend." Mary hugged him, and wondered how that was going to work.

}o{

Sarah returned the next night to the Bartowskis'. But a month later, she was home, as Ellen had been discharged from the hospital. Things calmed down between Sarah and Emma, and Chuck began to hope they were becoming closer. The school year ended. Chuck attended Sarah's birthday party, and got her a Tamagotchi. Sarah declared they were joint parents for it, and they cared for it together.

That summer they were thick as thieves, doing everything together, including helping Ellen with everything she needed. The cancer was said to be in remission, but anytime it was mentioned, Sarah got a worried look on her face. The summer went on, and then as they always do, it ended. Fifth grade began, and Chuck and Sarah returned to school.

September rolled around, and that meant Chuck's birthday. The night before his 10th birthday, she gave him Care Bears #3, making him laugh. The next morning when he heard a knock on the door, he knew who he hoped it was. He opened the door, and there stood Sarah with a cupcake in her hand, a single candle burning atop it.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Sorry this one was shorter, but the main story got done. When I was in third grade, my dad came down with an illness called Guillain Barre Syndrome. This was 1984. I spent many nights at my aunts house, so this one hit me right in the guy. One of my beta readers have a loved one who went through and eventually lost, a battle with brain cancer, so it hit her in the gut. What I'm saying, a lot of gut punches in that one. You think you have a crystal ball about what's coming…..you probably do. Again, reviews….they keep me going. Take care, see you soon.

DC


	4. Ch 4, 11th Birthday

A/N: 1991-1992.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"That song is on AGAIN!" Sarah said, working on her homework, while the radio played.

"Want me to change the station?" Chuck asked. "You know it's on everywhere." Bryan Adams hit song, _I Do it for You_ was on the radio, for what Chuck thought must have been the millionth time.

"Why would anyone do that?" she asked.

"What, change the radio station?" Chuck replied, looking over at her.

"No," Sarah said, shaking her head. "Everything… why would you do everything for someone."

"I think that's when you know you're in love, but I'm not sure. Lester says it's when you feel like you want to throw up, but then he said he ate week-old egg salad, so he's not sure."

"Do you ever think you could love someone that much?" Sarah asked.

"Maybe," Chuck said, looking over at Sarah.

"I don't think I could," Sarah admitted. "I don't think I have it in me. I don't think anyone can get past all the anger I have, all the sadness. You're the only person I'm around that I don't feel mad."

"Thanks?" Chuck said.

She glared at him. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, hey, Sarah… have you thought about next year?" Sarah looked at him. "They have dances at the middle school."

"Great," she said in a sarcastic voice.

"But you like to dance," Chuck said. "I've seen your amazing moves." His laughter caused her to glare more. "I mean, it _did_ resemble a fit…"

"Yeah, well at least I don't stand there, scared to have fun around my best friend," Sarah replied. "You just kinda bob your head."

"You know I can barely walk upright some days," Chuck replied. "If I tried to dance… well, I might kill someone. Like me." Chuck looked up as Ellen walked into the room. "Hey, Miss T."

"Sarah," Ellen said, coming into the room, looking at Chuck with fear in her eyes. "Who is that? Why is he in our house?"

"Granny, that's Chuck," Sarah said, walking over to her. "Chuck Bartowski?"

Ellen looked at Chuck for a minute, blinked, and shook her head. "Of course, I know who Chuck Bartowski is," Ellen said. Chuck and Sarah shared a look. This wasn't okay.

}o{

Chuck sat down at the table with his parents and Ellie. "She's not okay," Chuck said softly.

"She's refusing to continue chemo," Mary said. "Emma is running herself ragged trying to support them, and there has been no shrinkage of the tumor."

"But… but…she has to live," Chuck said. He shook his head. "They'll leave," he said softly. "I don't want her to die, but…" He put his head on the table, and began to cry.

Mary came around the table and put her arm around Chuck. "I don't know what's going to happen son, but I know this: Sarah is going to need you."

"You're right," he said, lifting his head and wiping his tears. "And I shouldn't be selfish like that. It's terrible she's dying."

"People can live for years with a brain tumor, Chuck," Ellie added.

"Maybe she'll live long enough for you to be a doctor, and you can save her," Chuck said.

"Maybe," Ellie replied. No one at the table thought she would.

}o{

Sarah was laying on Chuck's bed, on her stomach. Her hands were folded, her chin on them, and depression filled her face. It was the Friday after Thanksgiving. Ellen had enjoyed Thanksgiving, not forgetting anyone, not forgetting where she was.

"How many days is she going to have like that?" Sarah asked, breaking the silence. Chuck looked over at her, and made a decision. He like seeing Sarah happy, regardless of how it made him look doing it.

He went over, found the cassette tape he had recorded off the radio, and put the tape into the player. He fast-forwarded, listened to the earphones, fast-forwarded some more, rewound a bit, listened, paused the tape, and disconnected the earphones.

"You have a choice: You can cheer up, or…" Chuck let the words hang there, spreading his hands. He pressed his lips together, and tilted his head.

"Or what, Chuck? You can't fix this," Sarah said, exasperated.

"I can't, but Sarah, you have to live. Would your granny want you to act like this?" Sarah frowned, realizing he was right. Chuck decided it was time and hit play. _I'm Too Sexy_ by Right Said Fred began to play, and Chuck began to dance. Well… dance was probably a bit strong.

"Do I need to call the ambulance, or are you having a fit?" Sarah asked, a smile forming on the sides of her face.

"Come on, Sarah, dance," Chuck said. She got up and joined him, being silly. Neither of them even bothered trying to be serious. Ellie walked by, saw them, shook her head and walked on. A few minutes later she came back, made him rewind the song, and they began again, all three laughing.

}o{

Christmas came and went, with little change in Ellen's condition. January began, and Stephen and Mary shocked Chuck one afternoon after school.

"So, we were thinking that Ellie could use a self-defense class, and we found one that had a package deal for two girls instead of one," Mary began. Chuck gave Stephen a dubious look, and Stephen slightly shook his head. "It's jujitsu," Mary continued. A smile crept on Sarah's face, and Ellie looked pleased. "Once a week. What do you think?"

Ten minutes later, Stephen was driving, with Ellie in the front and Chuck and Sarah in the back. Something was bothering Chuck about the whole thing, but he shrugged it off. They got to the dojo, dropped off the girls and Stephen took Chuck over to a diner across the street.

"You set Sarah up," Chuck said, after he ordered a milkshake.

"Yes, your mother and I did," Stephen said, nodding. "Charles, Sarah has some anger within her, and she needs to get that out of her. She needs a healthy way to deal with it."

"She's not angry," Chuck said, defending her. "She's been through a lot."

"Yes she has, son, and that's why she is angry," Stephen said. "Son, her family life has been hard her entire life, and when she _finally_ got some stability, a foundation, it's all been rocked again."

"I wish I could fix it," Chuck said softly.

"I know you do, Son, and I give you credit that you're not trying to force yourself into the situation," Stephen said, looking him in the eye. "You can only help her if she wants it." Chuck nodded. "But, I'm gonna bet… I'm gonna bet there's no one she'll ever want to help her, but you."

"And her boyfriend or husband one day," Chuck said, shrugging.

Stephen gave him a look. "Charles… I think it's a bit early to worry about that."

"Worry about what?" Chuck asked. "Dad, we're friends, and that's all we'll ever be."

"You're more than friends," Stephen said. Chuck squirmed uncomfortably. "Don't say anything, just listen. I know… a bit… how you might feel."

"Dad, I don't want to have this conversation," Chuck said softly.

"Do you like her?" Chuck started to answer. "I mean _like_ her?"

"Yes, but she doesn't like me like that," he said with a shrug. "She's too awesome for me."

"I thought the same thing about your mother," Stephen replied.

"Dad," Chuck said, trying desperately to change the subject.

Stephen held his hand up. "One day, when you decide that you _do_ want more, you need to be honest with her. Because if you're not, you could resent her."

"Dad, I'm ten!" Chuck hissed.

"Do you want a girl to kiss you?"

"No!" Chuck replied.

"Not even Sarah?" Stephen asked. Chuck pressed his lips together and swallowed. Stephen grinned and nodded. "Who knows? Maybe someday she'll want to kiss you."

"She thinks kissing leads to people breaking up," Chuck said softly.

Stephen put his drink down, humor gone from his face. "So, better to have her in your life as a friend?" Chuck nodded. "She may change her mind."

"Dad, have you seen anything in her life that would make you think that might happen?" Chuck asked.

Stephen was silent for a minute. "I do, actually," he said. "You. Just keep being you."

"But, Dad," Chuck protested.

"Chuck, you've got years before you have to worry about it. All I'm saying is, I used to think kissing girls was yucky. I don't find it quite so yucky anymore."

Chuck grinned. "Mom doesn't have cooties?"

Stephen grinned, as he picked up his cup of coffee. "No, son, she does not."

}o{

The year continued to march onward, and Ellen had more and more times when she wasn't sure of many things. There were stories she told from years ago that she thought were current. Sometimes she didn't recognize people, but she always recognized Sarah. Nurses from the hospital took turns volunteering to stay with Ellen, and Chuck spent most of his free time there to help as best he could.

Chuck was at the library one Saturday morning in May, and it was just Sarah and Ellen in the house together. Ellen hadn't said much, and Sarah wasn't sure what today was going to be like.

"Do you mind turning on the record player?" Ellen asked. Sarah turned to her, making sure it was her that Ellen was talking to, and not someone in her mind. Ellen was looking at Sarah, eyes sharp, and clear.

"Yes, Granny," Sarah said.

"The record by itself on the right-hand side," Ellen said. Sarah queued the record, and the music began to play.

_Birds flying high_

_You know how I feel_

"Your grandfather introduced me to Nina Simone," Ellen said, eyes closed, feeling the music. "You know that's the best," she said softly. "When you trust someone so much, you'll sing in front of them, regardless of your singing voice."

"Did Grandpa sing well?" Sarah asked.

"Lord, no, he sounded like cats having an orgy," Ellen said. Sarah's eyes widened. She wasn't 100% sure what that meant, but she was pretty sure it wasn't good. "You deserve someone who loves you, Sarah."

"You love me, mom loves me," Sarah replied.

"Sarah, you and your mom are so alike and stubborn. You can't let things go," Ellen retorted. "I'm not going to be here much longer."

"Don't say that," Sarah said, tears in her eyes.

"Sweetie, I can't fight this forever," Ellen said. "I'm gonna lose one day, and when I do, I need to know, I need you to promise me, you'll let yourself love someone."

"Why do I have to?" Sarah asked.

Ellen opened her eyes, turned her head to Sarah and gave her a soft smile. "Sweetie, this life is too hard to go at it without someone to love and care for you."

"Everyone leaves," Sarah said. "Grandpa left, Dad left…" she was silent.

"And soon, I'm gonna leave," Ellen said.

"I have a friend in Chuck, he's always there for me."

"He is," Ellen agreed. "One day, you'll understand what I'm trying to say."

"I don't need a man." Sarah said.

Ellen burst out laughing. "Sarah, I believe you. You don't, but that doesn't mean you have to be alone. One day, you're gonna find your home, and when you do, I just want you to be willing to try, and not be scared."

"Why would I be scared? I'm not scared of anything," Sarah retorted.

Ellen grinned at her. "You are so scared of letting someone in and getting hurt it's not even funny. You know how I know?" Sarah shook her head. "Because I was you, a whole lot of years ago." The door opened, and Chuck came in. "Put the record up if you don't mind, Sweetie, I'm going to rest a bit." She did, and thought about what Ellen had said.

}o{

"Psst, Mrs. Bartowski," Sarah whispered to Mary a few weeks later.

"What is it, Sarah?" she asked, drying her hands on the kitchen towel.

Sarah handed her an ad in the paper. Mary took it and examined it. "Do you think he'd like it for his birthday?"

Sarah gave Mary a look. "It's Chuck." Mary had to agree.

}o{

Chuck's birthday party was the Saturday before his actual birthday. He nearly lost his mind, when someone showed up in a full-on Darth Vader costume. He begged Vader to force choke him. Vader did, and Chuck acted the entire scene out. He had a blast, and everyone at the party did as well. Sarah was the last to leave, handing him a paper bag, smirking. Chuck opened it: _Care Bears #4_. He laughed, and put it with the other three, all of which he would read later that night.

A few mornings later, Chuck was up bright and early, sitting on the couch, when there was a knock on the door. He got up, walked over, and opened the door. There stood Sarah with a cupcake in her hand, a single candle burning atop it.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Yeah…..I know….I know…it's only gonna get worse….


	5. Ch 5, 12th Birthday

A/N: 1992-1993 6th grade….do I even need to tell you what's coming? I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"You do know it was Sarah's idea for Darth Vader to show at your birthday party?" Mary asked Chuck. He was doing dishes after dinner, a few days after his birthday.

"What can I say? She knows what I like, except comic books," he replied, with a grin.

"And yet, you smile about them," Mary said. Chuck shrugged but kept grinning. Mary sobered. "Chuck… about…"

"Her granny is dying," Chuck said softly. Mary nodded. "And she means the world to Sarah." Mary nodded again. "What can I do mom, how can I help her?"

"You can't, Son," Mary said softly. Chuck turned from the sink, tears in his eyes. "You have to be there for her, and that is all. You cannot push, you cannot make her do anything… only what she lets you. And I don't want to talk disparagingly about your friend, but she can be stubborn."

"I haven't noticed," Chuck said dryly, slapping the towel against the sink in frustration. Mary chuckled. "It's not fair."

"No, it's not," Mary agreed. "But, that's how life works." Mary sighed. "People lose their grandparents at all stages of life."

"It's not that simple with Sarah," Chuck said. "It's complicated."

"That's a cop out," Ellie said from the doorway, where she had been listening to the conversation.

"Ellie," Mary began.

"No, Mom," Ellie cut in. "He doesn't get it."

"What don't I get?"

"You love Sarah," Ellie said. Chuck's eyes widened. "Chuck, she's your best friend in the world. What you have with her goes deeper than Morgan. It may go deeper than the love you have for Mom or Dad… or me."

"I'm not kissing her," Chuck stated firmly.

"Chuck, I have no idea what may come with you two later. But right now, she is family. You can't go too far for those you love, whatever that love is."

Chuck stood there a minute, staring at Ellie, and then put down his towel and headed toward the door. "Where are you going?" Mary yelled out, already knowing the answer. The door shut, and Ellie walked over to do the dishes. Mary watched her. "You cannot force those two."

"If I don't, who will?" Ellie asked.

"Ellie, they're kids," Mary replied. Ellie spun, and saw the sad smile on her face. "They may never get there."

"If they don't… who will Chuck have, who will Sarah have?"

"Ellie, you are too young to worry about this. For all we know, there are two people out there, perfect for them."

"Oh, I know there are," Ellie replied, putting the last dish on the drying rack. "And you know it, and you know where they are. Mom, I get it. You're a psychologist, and you see how angry she is. And how she feels she doesn't deserve anything, if she loses her granny."

"It is going to be terrible, and we are all here to help. But we can't butt in," Mary said calmly.

"I don't think you heard me. You can't go too far, for those you love."

Mary studied her. "You love your brother and Sarah," she said. Ellie nodded. Mary stood up, walked over, and hugged Ellie. "Sweet, sweet girl." She just held her daughter, and then gripped her by the arms and looked her in her eye. "We have to let them do whatever it is they're going to do, on their terms."

"But-"

"And it's going to hurt," Mary said. "But that's the only way."

"I don't like it," Ellie grumbled.

"I hate it too, but we can't force them." Ellie nodded, hugged her mom again, and walked away. "That goes for you too, Buster."

"Never would dream of interfering, dear," Stephen said, from the doorway. Mary snorted, and walked with him into the living room.

}o{

For the next two months, Ellen became more and more out of it. The second Saturday in November she awoke, more alert than she had been in months. "Sarah, I need you to go to the attic. In the back, on the far-right side, there's a guitar case. Would you get it please?" Sarah went, wondering if it was really there, or not. She was sure it was at one point, but was it now, or was it months, or even years, ago? She was surprised to find it exactly where Ellen had said, and she brought it downstairs.

"Go in the kitchen, get my cleaning rag under the sink, and let's clean up this case," Ellen said, looking very pleased. Sarah went and did as she asked, and in moments the case looked brand new.

"Open it." Sarah did, and was surprised to find a guitar in pristine condition. "It was your grandfather's, it's now yours. I want you to put it in your room, under your bed. You need to practice, starting in a few weeks, okay?" Sarah nodded. "Go on, slide that under your bed. There should be a box already under there, with music and a book that teaches you how to play." Sarah was confused, but did what Ellen asked. Sure enough, the box was there. She came back into the room with Ellen. Tears were in Ellen's eyes.

"I need you to listen to me Sarah. You can't do what I did. You can't close your heart off."

"I don't, Granny," Sarah said. "I love you, I love Mom, but… it's difficult, with her."

"She found it to be difficult with me, when she was your age," Ellen said, a soft smile on her face. "But we've left someone out of who you love."

"I love Dad," Sarah began.

"Sarah," Ellen said, making her head snap up. "Who else do you love?"

"I love Chuck, Granny, but he's…"

"He's special, isn't he?" Sarah nodded. "Sarah, tell me what's worrying you." Sarah gave her a look, making Ellen laugh. "Oh, that was good." She said through peals of laughter. "What is it?"

"Everything I love leaves, or I mess it up," she said softly. "Dad is gone, Mom and I…" She shook her head. "And you… you're…" She couldn't finish, tears falling down her face.

"You have to work at relationships, Sweetie," Ellen told her. "You and your mom, both, need to work."

"I don't want to lose Chuck," Sarah said. "I can't, so I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep him as my friend."

Ellen shook her head, grinning. "I need you to promise me, when you realize you have to have more, you tell him. If he doesn't want more, I promise you, it won't destroy what you have."

"Granny," Sarah began.

"Promise me, Sarah, you have to." Ellen's eyes bore into her, and Sarah nodded. She took a deep breath. "Thank you. I love you, Sarah. Come here," she said, her voice sounding weak. Sarah went over to her, and Ellen planted a kiss on her head. "I love you sweet girl, never forget that."

"I love you too, Granny." Sarah was crying softly, the only noise in the house. "Granny?"

There was no answer.

}o{

Chuck walked over to Sarah's house, wondering where she had been all morning. He had called twice, and she hadn't answered. Sarah was sitting there, holding Granny's hand, crying. He heard her murmur, "I love you, what am I going to do without you?" Chuck approached, noticed no movement out of Ellen, and began to fear the worst.

"Sarah?"

"She's gone," Sarah answered in a small voice. Chuck put his hands on her shoulders, trying to move her away from the body. "We can't leave her alone."

"Okay, okay, let's just… move over here, okay?" He moved her over to the chair, went to called Ellie, and stood beside Sarah.

She gripped his hand. "I've lost everyone but you," she said quietly. "Mom and I…" She shook her head. "I need you in my life."

"I'm here, always, however you'll have me."

"I need you, Chuck. I need my friend, someone I can trust, someone I can count on. Someone… someone who's there for me."

"I'm here," Chuck said, promising himself that he would never do anything to hurt her. Promising himself he would be there for her, no matter how painful it was for him. No matter how much it hurt. He would always be there for Sarah. It was a promise he would keep for the rest of his life.

}o{

Chuck stood with her as Emma raced home, Stephen and Mary showed up, and the ambulance showed up. She slipped her hand into his, and he held it. When they began to zip the bag, he watched for her, her head buried in his shoulder, so she didn't have to.

He told his parents he was remaining out of school and with her until she went back. No one said a word. In fact, they had figured as much. At the visitation, he was with her every second, and as the coffin went into the ground, he was there sitting beside her, Emma giving him a thankful smile.

The next week was the week of Thanksgiving, and there was only three days of school. Chuck turned in all of his and Sarah's homework. Some of the kids asked if he did it for her, and the look he gave them made them shut their mouth. At Thanksgiving, she barely ate anything. As everyone sat in the living room talking, he snuck her his Krackle candy bars from the fall festival bag. The look she gave him was all he needed.

They talked about the most random things, and sometimes she would just cry. When Emma went back to work, it was decided that the nights she had the late shift, Sarah would sleep at the Bartowski home. There was no question where she would sleep; everyone knew.

They went back to school until fall break, Sarah doing fine the days she was at the Bartowskis, and not so fine when she was with Emma in their house. The air was thick with tension, but Sarah was almost on autopilot in the house. When she wasn't, she was crying.

Christmas came and went, with Chuck getting her a Walkman that played cassette tapes. She gave him a hug, surprising him. "But wait, there's more," Chuck said. He had made a recording of Nina Simone's _Feeling Good_ on a cassette. Sarah thought she might cry. Ellie couldn't handle it and left the room, but Sarah didn't notice. She thought there might be no better person on Earth than Chuck Bartowski.

}o{

The year progressed, and while Sarah never forgot Ellen, the pain lessened some. Being in the house didn't help, but she began to find things that made her remember the good times. She continued jujitsu training. Chuck swore she was the most awesome person in the world. She began to play guitar, and became a little obsessed with 4 Non Blondes _What's Up_. She got sheet music from the local music shop, and began to practice at home, keeping it from Chuck. She knew when she played it for him, it would blow his mind, and she wanted it to be perfect.

The school year continued and eventually ended, her sixth-grade year over, and she didn't think she'd ever been as glad. She didn't want a birthday party, just to hang out with Chuck that day. She loved being the same age as him, but soon he would be moving to the next age, and that's when it hit her. She had to talk to him, and she knew he'd be okay with what she said, but he would be disappointed.

}o{

Three days before his birthday, she finally summoned the courage and knocked on his door. He opened it and invited her inside, wondering what the look on her face was for.

"I wanted to give this to you." She handed him his annual Care Bears comic. He smiled as he looked at it. "Uh, Chuck, I know it's kinda been our thing for me to bring you a cupcake on your birthday."

"Best part of my birthday," he said softly. Her face tightened. "Did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head. "I'm glad it means a lot to you, but… Granny always helped me… okay, fine, she always made them for you and… I…"

"Hey," he said, pulling her into a hug. "It's okay. I understand."

"I know you do, and that's why it hurts so much," Sarah said, crying into his shoulder. He held her tight.

"Sarah, the cupcake just shows you remember, and that I mean enough for you to do something special for me. It shows me you love me, and that's important." She pulled away, a frightened look in her eye. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Love… love you?"

"Sarah, you're family," he said with a shrug. "Family loves family. So yeah, and I love you, too."

Tears fell from her eyes as she nearly tackled him, hugging him so hard. "I love you, Chuck. I always will."

"Wanna stay for dinner?" he asked, trying to breathe.

She shook her head against him. "I've got some stuff I have to do," she said pulling back. He gave her a concerned look. "I have some tape to watch to get ready for my next tournament, so unless you want me to flip you for practice."

"You know I'd let you if you need to, right?"

"You're so weird," she said, snorting.

"Why doesn't Ellie have that?" Chuck asked.

"Don't say anything, but Ellie's not as good as me." Chuck laughed as he watched her walk down the sidewalk.

"Good night, Sarah."

"Night, Chuck."

}o{

The morning of his birthday, Chuck walked around, a little depressed, and mentally spiraling. He didn't know how much he would miss not having her bring him the cupcake. She did it because she cared, because she thought enough of him. He couldn't ask her to do something like that, knowing how it would hurt her to bring him a cupcake. He couldn't be selfish like that. He loved her. He knew that. She was family. He would do anything to take her pain away, and making a cupcake for him would rip the scab off her pain, and she would hurt even more. Sure, she was kind of numb right now, but she wasn't hurting.

But it still hurt him. Chuck wanted to know he was important in her life, and he did, but those little gestures… they meant so much to him. There was a knock on the door. He stopped mid-stride, and looked at it. He knew that knock. He felt more than saw his parents and Ellie come to the doorway of the living room. He swallowed, walked across the living room, and opened the door.

There stood Sarah with the most pitiful, God-awful-est, and yet the most gorgeous cupcake he had ever seen in the world. He looked into her eyes, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Happy birthday, Chuck. I love you." He gently took it from her hands, and placed it on the table beside the door.

"I love you too, always. Thank you." She cried into his shoulder and held him like he was oxygen. "You didn't have to."

"No, I did. You have to know what you mean to me." She cried a few seconds more, and then pulled away. She pushed one of his curls out of his face. "Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: …..I got nothin. *Sits down* EDC here…yeah, he needs a minute. See you soon.


	6. Ch 6, 13th Birthday

A/N 1: After a lot of thought last night, talking to prereaders, and more thinking...we're going to change the story from what the original one shot was. As a prereader said, and I'm paraphrasing, I didn't have to think out long term consequences about the short story. So, it will be quicker than chapter 28, and I'm leaning toward very different in how it comes about. Thanks for staying with me on this one.

A/N 2: I know some of you may be thinking I'm not casting Emma in the greatest light. For four and a half years we had no clue of what her mother was like. This is not what I think her mom is like, but she is for this story.

A/N 3: 1993-1994….85% of 7th grade, beginning of 8th. The worst is over, right…..right? While any version of the song works, Ace of Base just happened to be covering Don't Turn Around during this time frame. I'm not saying they're breaking up, because they've never been together, but…you know what, why don't I shut up and let you read. (Dillwg, 90s songs and dancing….)

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

A few weeks after Chuck's birthday, everyone was sitting at the table for Sunday dinner. "I have an exciting announcement," Emma said. "I'm moving to day shift permanently." Sarah looked at her mom, a worried look on her face. "I thought you'd be more excited sweetheart? You get to sleep in your own bed every night."

"Sounds great," Sarah said. She looked over to Chuck. "You don't have to fight with me for the covers anymore."

"Yeah, that's right," Chuck said. "Since you hog them."

"If you weren't so stupidly tall and have to have the covers over your head," Sarah retorted.

"If you didn't snore so loud that I have to cover my ears so I can sleep," Chuck shot back.

"Children," Mary said, trying to sound parental, but secretly enjoying the bickering.

"Looks like I'm moving to day shift not a moment too soon," Emma said, looking proud of herself. Chuck and Sarah shared a glance, and neither said another word. They absentmindedly picked at the rest of the meal. Emma never noticed, pleased with herself.

}o{

"I'm just saying, a word of warning would have been nice," Sarah said, huffing as she walked inside.

"I thought you'd be excited, to not have to share a bed with him."

"I know, an _evil boy_," Sarah said, rolling her eyes.

"Sarah," Emma began.

"I know mom, I know, don't have a baby early in life and be stuck," she said, hurt on her face. "Don't let them put you in a box, be independent, make everything on my terms."

"Well, it's true," Emma said shrugging.

"Sorry you're stuck, mom," Sarah said, heading to her room.

"Sarah, I didn't mean it like that!" Emma yelled after her. Sarah's bedroom door slamming shut was her only answer.

}o{

The next several Sunday dinners were tense. Then, suddenly, it was like a truce had been called. Emma and Sarah looked a little upset at dinner, but neither said anything.

"Hey, Chuck," Sarah asked quietly. "Last year I didn't get to go to any of the dances because of Granny, and I'd like to go. Would you take me?"

"Sure," Chuck replied. Ellie shared a look with her mother. "What?"

"What are you going to wear?"

"You know what, we shouldn't go," Sarah said quickly, trying to save him.

"Oh, no, we're going clothes shopping," Mary said with a smile. Stephen gave Chuck a sad smile and a small head shake. "Keep it up, and you'll go too, dear."

Stephen sat there quietly.

}o{

"They sure play a lot of Ace of Base," Chuck said into Sarah's ear.

"I think it's so you'll get tired, and buy things at the concession stand," Sarah replied.

"You should be a club owner when you grow up," Chuck said.

"Only if you'll run the music," she replied, grinning. "Hey, Chuck," she began.

"Oooo, a slow song… you want to?" he asked, offering her his hand. She sighed, and nodded. He took his place, a modest distance from her, and she gave him a look.

"Scared?" she asked, smirking. He shook his head, and she moved closer against him. She shut her eyes and listened to the music.

_'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't_

_You can't make your heart feel something it won't_

"You're good at this, Chuck," she said softly. "You're gonna make some girl very happy one day."

"Are you not happy?" he asked, clueless.

"Yes, you nerd, but I'm your friend. You know, I was talking about your girlfriend, your wife," she explained.

"Where's all this coming from?" he asked.

"I'm just saying you're a great guy, and you sell yourself short. There's a lot of girls here that would love to have you ask them to the dance."

"But I want to be here with you," Chuck replied.

"And I'm glad you are, but someday, you're going to have to ask someone out."

He didn't have an answer to that. She shut her eyes again and listened.

_Morning will come and I'll do what's right_

_Just give me till then to give up this fight_

She would… she was leaving. She just had to tell him. Of course, she wasn't leaving until the school year was over, so she had time. She just had to find him someone so he wouldn't be lonely. That would work. She'd be back after summer was over. She didn't cry; she refused to, tonight. Tonight was hers. He didn't know it was, but it was. She had to tell him. He deserved to know, he needed to know. "Hey Chuck."

Heavy D's _Now That We Found Love_ hit. "Sarah, it's my jam!" he said, attempting to dance.

Sarah shook her head and danced with Chuck. She'd deal with next summer later. She enjoyed herself, and hated herself at the same time.

}o{

"You okay?" Chuck asked her, as they watched the adults preparing the Thanksgiving table.

"Hmm?" she replied, turning to him. "Oh, yeah, just… it's nothing."

"Come on, Sarah, it's me," he said with that look on his face. She shoulder-bumped him. "Back porch?" She nodded. They went outside and sat on the deck. It was a little cold, but they didn't seem to notice. "Talk to me, Sarah," Chuck said softly.

"I'm a burden to mom," she said softly. "She got pregnant, before she got to finish all the schooling she wanted."

"Why doesn't she go back now?" Chuck asked.

"Because she needs to be there for me, to make sure I don't make the same mistake she did," Sarah explained. Chuck looked at her, puzzled. "She got pregnant at eighteen, Chuck. She's managed to get her nursing degree, but she wanted a "better" degree. When Dad was around, she felt comfortable going after it, but with me, and Granny…"

"I get it," Chuck said, nodding. "But how would _you_ make that mistake?" Sarah gave him a long look. "Wait… but you're… I'm… WHAT!?"

"Boys are evil, and only after one thing," she said with a smirk.

"Well," he said standing, offended. Sarah quickly rose, laughing, and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Chuck, it's not you, she just… worries about any boy. But we _have_ slept in the same bed."

"Sarah, I would never," he began. "I mean. I wouldn't… I…" he stopped talking. "There's no good way to say what I need to say."

"I know, Chuck," she said, grinning at him.

"But, am I the reason she went to days?"

"No, yes, not really… she thinks I'm gonna do something to get back at her, or something." Sarah shook her head, and wrapped her arms around herself, not because she was cold, but because she was feeling vulnerable. "She says it badly, but she means to help. She's being overprotective because of her mistakes, she's not letting me live because she's had bad experiences."

"It must be hard being a parent, and not wanting to see your child hurt," Chuck said softly.

"It is, it's why I'm never having kids," she said, huffing. "Or marrying."

"Oh?" Chuck said.

She looked at him with a sad smile. "It's not that I don't want to marry, it's… I'll mess it up."

"You don't know that," Chuck said.

"No, I do. I run from pain, I run from heartbreak." She turned away. "Since Granny died, I've avoided fighting with her. I just walk away." She paused, and took a deep breath. It was time. "That's why-"

"Hey, guys!" Ellie said. "It's time to eat!" With that she disappeared. Sarah took a deep breath and started inside, her courage suddenly evaporated.

"Wait," Chuck said, gently catching her wrist. "What were you gonna say?"

"That's why I'm just going to stay single," she said, shrugging. Chuck nodded, let go of her wrist, and watched her walk inside. He wondered if he could be enough to make her change her mind, one day.

}o{

Christmas Eve found them all together again. Chuck was looking at the gift Sarah had given him, a Talkboy. He didn't know how she managed it, she refused to tell him. He couldn't figure out why she had gotten him such a gift, but it was awesome!

"Have any big plans for the summer?" Emma asked, joining Chuck who was searching for a picture album his mom wanted.

"No, haven't talked to Sarah yet to see if she has any plans," Chuck said. He looked up just in time to see Emma's face. "What?"

"She hasn't… I mean… you know what…" she got up and backed away from Chuck. She spun and there stood Sarah, glaring at her.

"What did you do?" Sarah asked.

"I thought you had told him," Emma said.

"Tonight!? You had to do this tonight!? Chuck's favorite holiday, and you had to ruin it!? And you wonder why I'm leaving!" With that Sarah tore out of the house. Two seconds later, Chuck followed. Emma stood there, the rest of the Bartowskis just looking at her.

"Emma, perhaps you better tell me what's going on," Mary said.

"Sarah's spending the summer with her father," Emma said. Stephen and Mary shared a look, while Ellie ran out of the house. "Looks like I did ruin Christmas." Neither Mary nor Stephen had anything to say.

}o{

She was leaving. She was leaving him, leaving everything, because of her mom. He knew that, but he also knew he wasn't enough. He wasn't enough for her. That hurt. It hurt him in his heart. Like she had taken a gun, and shot him directly in his heart. It just hurt. He was being selfish, he knew he was. He knew how upset she was, how much she and her mom just couldn't get along, just couldn't make things right.

And he wanted to be the person that could make things right in her life. He wanted to be someone she couldn't leave behind. He thought back to their 'wedding,' and the only way they could leave is if one of them wanted to go. She apparently did. Maybe not because of him, but he wasn't enough for her to stay. He loved her… and that wasn't enough. He didn't know if that ever would stop hurting.

}o{

She had hurt him. The one person in this world who was there for her for anything and everything… she had hurt _him_. It probably would have been more humane to shoot him in the heart. It probably would have hurt him less. The only reason she had stayed this long was because of him. She only agreed to go away for the summer, because of him. She needed him in her life, he couldn't understand how much, but she did. She loved him, and that's the only reason she was still here. It was the only reason, but it was more than enough, and she needed him to know that.

She wasn't leaving him, she just needed space. She needed away from that house. She couldn't just move in with him. That's what she wanted to do, that's what she needed to do, but that wasn't an option. So, she took the best option out of all the remaining bad ones; spend the summer with her dad. She would be back before school started, the day-of at the latest, but she would be back. He had to know she wasn't doing this to hurt him, she was doing it to stop the hurt in her. It hurt to leave him, but she couldn't live in that house with Granny's 'ghost' and her and her mom's conflict.

}o{

She knew he had left after her. But after he didn't catch her, because, well… while Chuck had long legs, she was more of a runner than he was… she knew where he would go.

"You cold?" she asked. He turned, a sad smile on his face. "Knew you'd be here," she said, sitting down beside him. "The one place where Christmas just throws up all over you and yet… there's something peaceful here."

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I shouldn't have chased you, you need space-"

"Stop," she said, huffing. "God, Chuck, just be mad at me. You should be." He looked at her.

"Sarah, I can never be mad at you. You have the right to go where you are happy."

"You can be mad that I was too chicken to tell you," she said.

He shook his head. "Sarah, you tell me what you want to tell me, not what I think I deserve."

"I'm coming back," she said. He started to speak, and she gave him a look. He felt himself shrink back a little. "I'm going away for the summer. I need to get out of that house, and according to my mom, I can't live with you because we're gonna do…" She gave him an appraising look. "Have your parents told you about sex?" Chuck went red. "Okay, that's a yes." He slightly shook his head, and she narrowed her eyes. Then they widened. "Oh… Ellie?" Chuck gulped and nodded. "Okay. So, mom's worried what we'll do."

"I wouldn't," he said in a strangled voice. She had to look away. He was being so cute and adorable she almost couldn't stand it.

"I know, but I need some room from my blood family, and I hate it. If my dad wasn't my dad, I'd insist you go with me." He looked over at her. "I'll be back. I have to, my best friend is here." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Promise." He nodded.

He wished he was enough.

}o{

The school year continued. While their relationship wasn't strained, they both avoiding discussing the summer. As spring break ended, Mary and Stephen told Chuck that Morgan was coming to spend six weeks with them over the summer. That, at least, provided Sarah with a margin of relief. At least Chuck would have someone over those six weeks.

May 27th rolled around, her birthday, and she found herself hugging Chuck, about to get into the car with her father.

"Darlin', hurry up. Tell the schnook you need to go," Jack yelled. Sarah walked over to the car.

"That is Chuck Bartowski, and he's my best friend," she informed her father.

Jack took a look at the tall, lanky kid. "Whatever," he said, waving his hand dismissively.

She came back over to Chuck, and grabbed hold of his chin, looking him in the eye. "I'm coming back," she said.

"Okay," he replied. It was the best he could manage. She smiled at him, and pecked him on the lips.

"I'm gonna miss you. I love you, Chuck," she said.

"Love you, Sarah," he replied. "Happy birthday."

She gave him a smile, got in the car, and Chuck watched them pull away. He fought a bad feeling that he was never going to see her again.

}o{

"So, you found Leia," Morgan said, as the summer was drawing to an end. Chuck looked over at his friend.

"What? Who?" Chuck asked.

"Sarah," Morgan replied. "I knew back then."

"Morgan, I'm going to be an eighth grader, I'm too young to find my Leia," he retorted.

"Whatever, dude. Whatever."

}o{

He sat in homeroom, the first day of class of eighth grade, looking at the empty seat beside him. "Walker, Sarah, Walker?" the teacher called. There was no answer. The seat beside him that he was saving for her, glaringly empty. Sarah did not return for the first day of school. Emma said she was supposed to be back days ago, and neither she or Jack were answering at the number she had for them. The police had been contacted, but Sarah wasn't back at school, and Chuck had never felt more alone in his life.

}o{

"Chuck, are you getting out of bed?" Stephen asked on the morning of his birthday, a Saturday.

"Yeah," he replied, on his side, facing away from the door, awake but not moving.

"Son, I'm sure it's not her fault," Stephen said.

"Who?" Chuck asked, not turning toward him

"Whooo boy, I have two teenagers," Stephen muttered, leaving. Chuck lay there.

A few minutes later, he heard the door open. He continued to lay there as he felt the bed shift, and then a few drops of water fell on his head.

"What the hell!" he yelled, as he flipped over. There was Ellie.

"Do you think she'd want you to sulk like this?" Ellie asked.

"Who?" Chuck asked. Ellie gave him the flattest look he had ever seen in his life, but he held his ground.

"We're really gonna do this?" Ellie asked.

"Do what?" Chuck replied, blinking back tears.

"It's okay to miss her," Ellie said. Chuck began to cry. She pulled him into a hug. "I miss her too."

}o{

"I'm going to bed," Chuck said. It was ten o'clock, and Chuck had never felt worse. No Sarah, no cupcake, no Care Bears comic… God, he didn't know how much he looked forward to that comic. He got up and walked to bed. He saw a car pull up in the driveway of Sarah's home.

"Wonder who that is?" Ellie said.

"Probably Emma getting back," Chuck replied. "She goes to the police once a day. Good night," he said, and went to bed.

}o{

He awoke to a soft noise, surprised he had been asleep. He looked over at the clock on his dresser. It read 11:55. There was the noise again; it was his window. He looked over at it, and his eyes went wide. Someone was breaking into his room.

"Stupid window," he heard a voice mutter. A voice he would know anywhere. God, it couldn't be, could it?

"Sarah?" he said, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

"Will you come help me?" she grumbled, and he shot out of bed like a flash. He got the window open and she came in. She stood straight, and his jaw dropped. She was taller, and her hair… it was black. He didn't even think, he pulled her into a hug. "Missed you too, Chuck," she said softly, returning the hug. He felt her head turn and she suddenly pushed him back. "Here," she said, handing him a paper bag. "Hurry, we're running out of time." He opened it, and found his Care Bear comic. She reached out the window, and when she pulled her hand back, there it was, his cupcake, with a single candle.

"Made it just in time," she said, looking at the clock reading 11:58.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Explanations next chapter. I need a nap.


	7. Ch 7, 14th Birthday

A/N: 1994-1995….85% of 8th grad beginning of 9th. Those last couple of chapters…whew. Don't worry, we get to catch our breath…a little bit.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

The door to Chuck's bedroom door opened. "What is… oh," Mary said. "Well, welcome back, Sarah. You are staying, right?"

"Yes, Mrs. Bartowski," Sarah replied. "And I'll be staying here tonight. My mom knows… if that's all right with Chuck, that is."

Mary looked at Chuck, who wasn't saying anything. "Son?"

"Oh… yeah, Sarah can stay here… if she wants, that is," he gulped, and seemed quite unsure of himself.

"That's why I gotta stay," Sarah said to Mary. "I need to explain, apologize, and make things right." Chuck turned to look at her, a little surprised. "You mean the world to me, Chuck. You're my best friend. I need you to understand what happened. If you're still mad at me after that, then it's on me."

"I'm not mad," Chuck began.

"I'll leave you two alone, but might I suggest something? Be honest with each other… and no shenanigans."

"MOM!" Chuck said, mortified.

"I'm just saying," Mary said, chuckling as she left.

"I promise, Mrs. Bartowski, no shenanigans." Chuck turned toward her, his mouth open in shock, and she bounced a shoulder, grinning. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, I need a proper snuggle." Chuck gave her a look. "Okay, I get it, you're mad at me…"

"Hey, no," Chuck said softly. "But… after all this talk by you and my mom," he paused and looked at his bed. "That's…"

She grinned at him, spun him, and tossed him on the bed. He looked up at her, shock on his face. "Where'd you learn that?"

"Part of the story," she said, grinning. Chuck scooted back, she crawled into bed, put her back against his chest, reached back, grabbed his arm, and put it over her side, his hand draping over her stomach. "I've missed this so much."

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked. She didn't answer, and then he realized she was crying. "Sarah, did someone…"

"No," she whispered fiercely. "I am physically fine… my personal life… But no, Chuck, no one did anything to me like that."

"Can I help with the personal stuff?" he asked. She rolled over, to look at him.

"I was gone, I didn't come back, and your first worry is about me?" She shook her head. "Never change, Chuck Bartowski. You're a gift this world doesn't deserve."

"I don't know about all of that," Chuck replied.

"How do you not hate me?" Her voice was small, tears in her eyes. "I left the one person that cared about me! My mom is so worried about what I can be, my Dad is worried how I can help him, and you… you worry, about me, right now, and in the future, and how you can make my life better. I should have stayed. I should have figured out a way to deal with living over there. God, there were nights I'd have given anything to be back over there, close to you, able to call you, able to open that window and just talk to you. Chuck, he wanted to use me as part of his scams."

He processed what she said. "Are you…are you in trouble?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, I didn't help him. I refused." She gave him a sad smile. "I thought about you, and what you would have done, and that's what I did. I refused to help him, Chuck, and he was furious. He left, and I was stuck by myself, but I was so stubborn. I couldn't tell anyone who I was or where I was. I had gotten myself into this mess, and I was going to get myself out of it."

"What did you do?" Chuck asked, worry in his voice.

"Okay, spoiler alert: I'm here, and you don't have to be worried," she said, laughing at him.

"Sorry, you know scary movies bother me. I cried during the Lion King."

"Oh, you did see it!" Sarah said, grinning. "Wish I could watch it with you."

"The dollar theater is showing it," Chuck informed her.

"Great, tomorrow?" Chuck nodded his head like Ed the Hyena, but then realized she didn't understand the reference. She shook her head at him, thinking he was just being him. "So, I was hanging out at a dojo, and I was watching a young girl. Her form was all messed up, so I helped her out. The head of the dojo saw me helping, and started to talk to me. I told him what was going on. He said he was heading to Los Angeles, and said if I would help him, I could ride with him."

"Did he…" Chuck swallowed.

"No, Chuck," Sarah said, shaking her head at him. "He apologized for not taking me earlier, he offered to let me use his phone and contact mom. But I… I was too stubborn."

"That's the part I don't understand," Chuck said. "Why not call her, or me?"

"Because I told my mom she was the problem, that she was forcing me to live her life and not letting me live mine. I've been back about an hour and a half. Enough time to make your cupcake and talk to her, and she swears she's gonna back off, but we'll see." She paused, and took a deep breath. "And I left you. I shouldn't have."

"Sarah, wherever you go, whatever you do, I'm here for you," he said, pulling her close with the hug.

"I don't deserve you," she said softly.

"Stop," Chuck said, giving her a nudge. "I'm here for you."

"Okay," she said softly. They were both quiet for a few moments, and Chuck heard a soft snore.

"Told you, you snore," Chuck said softly. "I mean it's adorable, but you snore." A soft snore was his answer, and Chuck listened to her breathing, thanking God she was back, as he fell asleep.

}o{

The next day Sarah went home for a while, and came back in the afternoon. "I had to give the police a report," she explained. "And I really need to do something about this," she said, looking up at her jet-black hair.

"I don't know, I kinda like it," Chuck blurted out. Sarah gave him a smile that made him warm inside.

He had been thinking a lot, and he was determined he was going to find someone for Sarah that she could count on. He was her friend, but she needed someone… someone she could feel about the way he felt about her. She deserved that.

Sarah was talking with Mary, when Chuck pulled Ellie into the kitchen. "What kinda guy do you think Sarah would like to date?" he asked Ellie in a low voice. Sarah was approaching the kitchen when she heard them talk, and decided to pull back and listen.

"_You_, dummy," Ellie said.

"Ellie, Sarah and I are friends, and that's all we can ever be," Chuck said softly.

Sarah pulled away from the kitchen and hurried to the bathroom. She shut the door and let the tears fall. She had screwed up by going away with her dad. Everything in her life that was good, and not taken from her, she had screwed up. She had screwed up the relationship with both her parents, and Chuck. She looked into the mirror. She had to have him in her life, so whatever that looked like, she would take.

If she had stayed at the door a few seconds more, she would have heard "I'm not enough for her. I'm not the guy that can make her happy."

"How stupid can you be?" Ellie asked him. "She's crazy about you."

"We're friends, Ellie, that's it," Chuck insisted.

"Whatever," Ellie said, rolling her eyes and walking off.

"But I need your help," Chuck yelled.

"I told you, but you refuse to listen," Ellie yelled back.

"You do refuse to listen a lot."

"GAH!" Chuck jumped, and spun to find Sarah standing there.

Instantly, fright turned to concern. "What's wrong? Your eyes," he said, concern on his face.

"Just happy to be back," she replied.

"Wanna go see a movie?" he asked. "My treat."

"I thought it was a dollar," Sarah said with a smirk.

"Listen, it's not like I'm rolling in it," he said, pressing his lips together and widening his eyes, making her laugh.

}o{

They were sitting at the theater waiting for the movie to begin. "So Doug, the guy in charge of the dojo, trained me, and got me lessons at a dojo here."

"What about the place we were taking you?" Chuck asked. "Was it not any good?"

"No, this is just more advanced," Sarah replied.

"Well, do you want Dad and I to take you there?"

"You know, maybe you should find someone, Chuck," Sarah said. He looked over at her. She reached over and grabbed some popcorn, and rolled her eyes at his questionable look. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have someone do for you like you do for me."

"You do things for me," Chuck replied, shrugging.

"You're impossible," Sarah replied, shaking her head.

"But adorable," Chuck countered. Sarah chuckled. He was. She loved him. It was at that moment she figured out exactly what love was.

}o{

Sarah didn't stay the night like she used to, but there were many evenings his window went up, and Sarah crawled through. Chuck laid in bed with her facing him, telling him what was wrong, how she and her mother were fighting, again. The worst was when she talked about her dad.

Some nights, she just came in and didn't say a thing. They would just lay there, both of them comfortable. Both of them knowing the other was right there.

Chuck had helped Sarah catch up with what she missed at school those few weeks. She was caught up in no time, and that's what led to the infamous incident. Sarah had been at Chuck's studying on a Saturday. They were all caught up on everything and bored.

"Hey, I have an idea," Sarah said, a wicked glint in her eye.

Chuck looked over at her. "Will we get in trouble?" Chuck asked.

"I don't know, but I saw something on a movie once and I want to try it."

"Okay… wait, what kind of movie?"

"I wasn't supposed to be watching, but I did," Sarah admitted. "I was too young to be watching it. Please, Chuck, can we try it?"

Ellie walked in a few minutes later, hearing the music, knowing what they were doing, her parents right behind her. She tried to stop Mary and Stephen from entering the house, but they did, and that's when they saw the two of them, half-dressed.

"What are you two doing?!" Stephen yelled. Ellie looked from Chuck and Sarah trying to cover themselves and then back to Mary who was trying not to burst out laughing. Stephen looked at the two Bartowski women and then back to Chuck and Sarah. "They've wearing my white dress shirts, and she's wearing my sunglasses!"

}o{

School was close to ending their eighth-grade year, when Jimmy Reed approached Chuck. "Hey, Chuck, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked one afternoon right before the day ended.

"Sure," Chuck replied, following him to an empty classroom. "What's up?"

"So what's the deal with you and Sarah?" Jimmy asked.

"She's my best friend," Chuck replied. "Why?"

"That's it? You two aren't a couple?"

"No, she's my best friend, that's it."

"Can I ask her out?" Jimmy asked. Chuck was floored. He wanted to yell no, punch Jimmy in the face, but he had absolutely no claim on Sarah.

"You going to be okay with her being at my house some days, because we are still going to be friends?" Chuck asked.

"That's it?"

"That's it," Chuck replied. "You better treat her right," he said, pointing a finger in his face. Jimmy lifted his hands.

"Dude," Jimmy said. Chuck shook his head and took his finger down. "I got it, she's important to you."

"Very," Chuck replied. "But you didn't deserve that."

"You sure this isn't a problem?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah, it's good," Chuck said. "Want me to have her call you?"

"You'd do that?" Jimmy asked, stunned.

"Yeah, I don't promise she will, but I'll back you, okay?"

"Okay," Jimmy said, writing down his phone number, and giving it to Chuck.

Chuck held it up, put it in his pocket. "I'll talk to her tonight, okay?" he asked, holding his hand out. Jimmy took it and shook it. "You hurt her…"

"I get it," Jimmy said, smiling. "Wish I had someone like you in my life."

"Treat her right and you will, in her," Chuck said. Jimmy nodded and left. Chuck stood there feeling terrible.

}o{

"Hey," Chuck said when she came over that night, earlier than usual because he told her he needed to talk to her. "I know someone that has a crush on you."

"Yeah, you," she said, smirking at him, and dodging the pillow he threw at her. "Who?"

"Jimmy Reed," Chuck said.

"Ooo, he's cute," Sarah said, grinning.

Chuck pulled out a piece of paper. "I got his phone number… you gonna call him?" Chuck gave her a look as he handed her the piece of paper, and he tilted his head toward the phone in his room.

"You're serious?"

"Why not?" Chuck asked. She locked eyes with him. She looked for anything, but all she saw was steely determination that she should call him. She nodded, and moved toward the phone. If she had held his gaze a second longer, she would have seen his eyes pleading with her not to call him. He scooted over on the bed, and gave her room to talk. Putting his head phones on to give her privacy, he picked up a graphic novel. He tried to read, but he really couldn't. His heart felt like it was being broken in half.

}o{

The two became three from time-to-time at school. Jimmy sometimes ate lunch with Chuck and Sarah, even though Chuck always offered to give them privacy. Jimmy joined them at Chuck's house from time to time, but Chuck did see less of Sarah. She still stopped by some nights to talk to him. Everything was fine, until he saw them kiss. That's when he didn't know what to do.

She was sitting beside him on the bus, after it had happened, and he was completely silent. "You okay?" she asked.

"I didn't know you two were… you know… doing that…" Chuck said.

"What, kissing?" Sarah asked. "Chuck it's no big deal, I've kissed you hundreds of times." Chuck gave her a look and she giggled. "Okay, so maybe there was no tongue."

"It's none of my business, it's just… well, your mom…"

"Oh, that," Sarah said. "Yeah, she was a little surprised about Jimmy. Come on Chuck, where would we go to do THAT?"

"If you were diabolical, my house," Chuck replied, shrugging.

"True, but Mom had a talk with him, and scared the shit out of him." Chuck laughed. "And I told him it was a sore subject in my family, early pregnancy, so that wasn't happening." Chuck gave her a surprised look. "Not ever. Besides, I'm not ready. Jesus, I turn 13 in a few weeks."

"I've heard some have." Chuck couldn't look at her.

"Yeah, I have too. I'm waiting until after high school," Sarah said. "That way I'm not at Mom's, if something goes bad." Sarah sat there a second. "I'm not saying the next day, or anything… God, that sounded bad."

Chuck began to laugh, and she shook her head at him. "Hey, you know how we always do something on my birthday?" Chuck nodded. "Uh, so…"

"Hey, you have a boyfriend. Can I before, or after?" Chuck asked. She hugged him.

"You're the best, I love you."

"Love you, Sarah," Chuck said. He was really hating himself… and Jimmy a little bit, if he was being honest… but mostly himself.

}o{

Sarah's birthday arrived, the summer came and went, and they began high school. Chuck found himself a little more alone than he had been in the eighth grade. Sarah and Jimmy were together more, and Chuck felt like the odd man out that morning. He sat down at lunch, at a table by himself, staring at his hamburger. He felt someone plop down beside him, and looked over.

"Wow… I thought you might be excited to see me."

"I figured you'd have lunch with Jimmy," Chuck said.

"Well, I've been with him all day in our classes, so I told him, lunch was with you," Sarah said, getting out her utensils.

"Wait, what?" Chuck asked. Sarah gave him a look. She put her hand on his arm. She'd learned over the years he focused more when there was physical contact.

"Chuck, you are important to me. Boyfriend, husband, whoever, they are going to have to accept you being in my life," she said. He was silent, not knowing what to say.

"I thought you weren't getting married," Chuck said softly. She shook her head, grinning.

"All of that, and me getting married is what you got out of it."

"Well, that was a lot," Chuck admitted, getting a smile from her. "But, what about this married thing?"

"I've decided if someone can accept being married to me means that I am going to be a hot mess, have a male best friend, and I have a habit of screwing up everything when it comes to relationships… then I could try. I'm not saying it's going to happen, but I've moved to maybe."

"Jimmy help you move that?" Chuck asked, grinning. She twisted her lips away from him. "Hey, if he makes you happy, then… I'm happy, but at least graduate." She rolled her eyes at him.

"I think I should have sat with Jimmy," she said.

"I'm glad you sat with me," Chuck said. Sarah took his hand and squeezed it.

"Me too," she said.

}o{

A few days later, Sarah opened his window, looking a little irritated. "I swear," she muttered.

"What's wrong?" Chuck asked.

"Jimmy," she said, handing him a bag. He opened it up, and showed her the comic.

"Ta-da! Care Bears," he said, with a grin. "What did Mr. Goodhair do now?"

"If you would put product in there, yours wouldn't do all of that," and she waved her hands randomly about. "But I'm glad you don't." Chuck made a mental note of that. "He wanted to come over here with me."

"I mean it would be okay," Chuck said. Sarah stared at him and crossed her arms. "I did something wrong…"

"Chuck, this is ours," she said, signaling between them. "He doesn't get to be involved in this."

"Maybe he's jealous," Chuck offered.

She shrugged. "You're a part of my life, no ifs, ands, or butts."

"No matter how big they are," Chuck added. Sarah rolled her eyes and headed back to the window.

"Why am I friends with you?" she asked, winking at him.

"Cause… I'm adorable?" he offered. She crooked her finger, signaling him to come close. He walked over to her, and she kissed him on the cheek.

"You are," she admitted, shaking her head. "And what's worse, you know it."

Chuck shrugged. She shook her head and left. Chuck sat there for a long time, wondering if he had made a mistake, and should have told her how he felt.

}o{

He was sitting on the couch waiting for the knock on his door.

"Hey."

He looked around, and saw her standing in his bedroom doorway, grinning. He hopped up, walked down the hall, and there it was, in her hands. His cupcake.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Nothing more uncomfortable than writing teenagers talking about sex. I work with this age some and have heard things out of them that make my hair fall out. The high school years are coming up. Oh. Boy. Hang on fam, and thanks for taking this trip with me.


	8. Ch 8, 15th Birthday

A/N 1: So quick housekeeping. Work has been CRAZY this week and by the time I get home I'm exhausted. This is the last chapter I have held back. Next chapter is already this long and I'm not out of October yet. It may get split, but I'll have to finish it before I now and then get it to my beta. So...we may not have one tomorrow. Or we might. I have no idea. Thanks to all who have been helping. This is becoming a team effort.

A/N 2: I questioned why I started this fic. There hasn't been a chapter yet I've written where I haven't cried. And then...something strange happened. I started to get private messages here, facebook, the tweeter, just everywhere about how chapter x reminded them of something in their past. This story will continue to be ...difficult? Yeah let's use that, for a bit, but all of you and your messages have done so much to keep me going. Thank you for sharing, thank you for putting yourself out there. I promise, we'll get these kids together...just not this chapter.

A/N 3: 1995-1996….85% of 9th grad beginning of 10th. Jimmy…..he's done nothing wrong. But…. Let's continue with two people who will talk about anything, EXCEPT how they feel about each other.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"Hey, can we talk with you?" Sarah asked at lunch, with Jimmy standing beside her.

"Of course," Chuck replied. "Anytime."

"No, not anytime," Sarah replied. Jimmy grinned, and shook his head. "He understands."

"I'm glad you do," Chuck said to him conspiratorially. Sarah glared at Chuck. "Not your boyfriend, that glare doesn't work on me." Sarah got serious with the glare and Chuck gulped. "I may have mispoke."

"We don't have time for me to correct you on all the things you misspeak about," Sarah began, Chuck looking mock upset. "So, you know that dance, that's coming up on Friday?"

"The one that will be our first couple event," Jimmy added.

"I do," Chuck replied. "The one I'm not going to, because you two keep dragging me along as a third wheel." Sarah and Jimmy exchanged a look. "Why do I think I might be wrong."

"Well, I can't go to the dance," Jimmy began.

"Are you asking me to go in your place, because that's weird," Chuck said, setting down his sandwich.

"No, it's just I can't go because my cousin is in town," Jimmy began. Chuck lowered his head to the table. He felt a hand on his arm.

"This feels like the plot of some sitcom." Chuck raised his head, and looked from one to the other. "Swear to me you two aren't trying to fix me up."

"No, Chuck, we're not," Sarah replied. "But he can't go if she doesn't go. It's casual wear."

"So, no pictures, right?" Sarah and Jimmy shared a look. Chuck laid his head back on the table. "I don't know, guys."

"Listen, all you have to do is go with us, pose for the pictures, and then you can do whatever. We just need you to go with us. We know it's a BIG ask. Please?" Jimmy was nearly begging.

Chuck looked at Sarah. "If you say no, I'll understand." Chuck just stared at her, and slowly shook his head.

"You know I can't say no to you," he said softly. Jimmy's eyes widened, but neither noticed, as both Chuck and Sarah's eyes were locked on the other.

}o{

"So, let me get this straight… you want me to drive you and Chuck to Jimmy's, where his mom takes pictures of you three and his cousin, and then take you to the dance, and back home again?" Ellie asked.

"I know it's a lot to ask, Ellie," Sarah began.

"I'll do it," she said, a glint in her eye.

"Really? Thank you so much!" Sarah hugged Ellie, then turned and bear-hugged Chuck. "Thank you so much! I know you don't want to go, but she's a great person."

"Have you met her?" Chuck asked. Sarah shook her head as she headed out the door. "You are trouble, Sarah Walker," he called to her retreating back.

"But you love me anyway!" she yelled, disappearing around the corner.

"Yeah, the idiot does," Ellie muttered. Chuck turned to her, confused. "I know what you're wondering."

"You do?" Chuck blinked, really confused. "_I_ don't even know what I'm wondering."

Ellie went on, ignoring him. "You're wondering why I would do this. I'm doing this because if you're going to continue with this foolishness that she doesn't want you, then you are going to have to see her with other people."

"Ellie, I can't make her feel about me the way you think she does," Chuck said. "I'm here for her, but if there is no future with us in _that_ way, why dwell? Why wouldn't I do everything I can to make her happy? If you care about someone, you try to make them happy."

"What about you, Chuck? What about your happiness?"

"Not everyone gets a happy ending," Chuck said, shrugging. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't; regardless, she deserves hers."

Ellie shook her head, walked over, and hugged her brother. "Friday night is going to suck so bad."

"You have no idea," Chuck replied.

}o{

Chuck and Sarah rode in the back seat to Jimmy's house, as Ellie drove. "Chuck, thanks again for doing this," Sarah said, giving him a smile. "Jimmy swears she a great person."

"We'll see," Chuck said, shaking his head. "I just want you two to have fun." Ellie pulled up to Jimmy's house and let out a low whistle.

"Is that your date?" Ellie asked. Chuck and Sarah both stared at the tall red-headed girl. "Huh," Ellie said, a smirk on her face. "My brother is going to go out with an Irish supermodel."

"Hush," Chuck said to her, as Sarah laughed. They got out of the car, and Jimmy came up to them.

"Chuck, Sarah… let me introduce my cousin, Mini Hansen."

"Nice to meet you, Chuck," Mini said, almost purring at him.

"Nice to meet you, Mini," Chuck replied. Sarah and Jimmy moved over to talk to Jimmy's mom. Chuck turned to Mini. "I promise, you have nothing to worry about with me. I will be a complete gentleman."

Mini pouted at him. "Where's the fun in that?" she asked, moving to join Sarah and Jimmy. Chuck managed to keep his mouth closed, but he was in shock. The pictures only took a few minutes, and as they were loading in the car, Chuck pulled Ellie aside and told her what Mini said.

"So, she sees you as attractive," Ellie said shrugging. Chuck looked at her in shock, as she giggled. Ellie shooed him into the back seat with Mini. "I don't know if we can all fit up here," Ellie said.

Mini suddenly plopped herself in Chuck's lap. "We have all sorts of room now." Chuck's eyes widened, and it took everything in Sarah's power to keep from laughing at him. "You okay, Chuckles?" Mini asked. "Never had a girl sit in your lap before?"

"Yes, I have," Chuck replied. "Sarah has, many times." Chuck shut his eyes, belatedly realizing what he just said within earshot of Jimmy.

"She also painted his fingernails once, because she wanted to know what a color would look like with his skin," Ellie added.

Mini looked at Chuck, who was trying not to be irritated. "I bet it was sexy."

"Do you do anything Sarah asks?" Jimmy asked, poking at him a bit.

"That's how I ended up here," Chuck replied, a little miffed. Mini moved her butt around and Chuck nearly threw her off him. "Sorry, didn't mean for that to sound snarky, but yeah, if it's reasonable, I do. She'd do the same for me."

"It's a very comfortable lap, Jimmy, you should try it," Mini said, grinning at her cousin. "Or maybe you should just sit in Jimmy's lap, Sarah, so Chuck here won't blush as much."

"I'm not blushing," Chuck retorted. He felt a hand on his arm and looked over at Sarah. The look on her face clearly stated, _yeah, you are_. Chuck sighed, laid his head back against the seat, and rode quietly.

}o{

Thirty minutes after they got there, Chuck found himself alone, Mini having abandoned him. She was talking to a football player, and Chuck looked out on the dance floor to see Sarah and Jimmy dancing together. She leaned in and kissed him, and that's when he snapped… he'd had enough. He turned and walked out of the gym. He was sitting on the steps outside, when he felt a familiar presence sit down beside him.

"Please don't start," Chuck said softly.

"I'm not baby brother, I'm not," Ellie replied. "Mini seems a little much for you. Sarah and Jimmy are having fun, which they should."

"Absolutely, on both counts," Chuck agreed.

"And you're here, miserable, because you ended up the third wheel, again."

"It's weird," Chuck said. "If it were Morgan and I, it would be cool if one of us were dating and one of us weren't."

"I'm sure it would be you dating," Ellie muttered.

"But, because we're the opposite sex-"

"Have you ever thought about kissing Morgan?" Ellie asked.

"NO!"

"Have you ever thought about kissing Sarah?"

"I _have_ kissed Sarah," Chuck replied, but he refused to look at Ellie.

"Chuck, I don't mean a peck on the lips or the cheek. I mean _kiss_ her." Chuck didn't say anything. "So, here's the thing; if you are going to continue on, you have to support her. You have to make sure what you say isn't influenced by your wanting to have a relationship with her."

"I have one. I'm her friend."

"Jesus, Chuck," Ellie said, throwing up her hands in frustration. "You two are crazy about each other."

"Why can't two people of the opposite sex just be friends?" Chuck asked her.

"They can," Ellie replied, having given up. "I just think you could have so much more with her." Chuck didn't say anything. He couldn't. Ellie patted his leg. "I'll be back to get you later." She got up, walked over to the car, and took off.

}o{

"Having fun, Mini?" Jimmy asked, seeing her.

"Yeah," she answered. "Lots of cute guys here."

"Where's Chuck?" Sarah asked.

Mini shrugged. "Don't know. I think he went outside while I was talking to Bruce… or was it Brad?"

"Did you spend any time with him?" Jimmy asked.

"No… was I supposed to?" she asked. Sarah gave Jimmy a look.

"Go, I'll deal with this," Jimmy said. Sarah took off.

Mini watched, as Sarah bolted for the door. "You better deal with that soon," Mini said. "She's crazy about him."

"They're just friends," Jimmy said. "They've never been more."

"They may not have been yet, but the day's coming," Mini told him. "You see it, don't you?" Jimmy looked away. "Hey, it's not your fault it's not working. It's not her fault, either. And it's certainly not Chuck's fault. He's trying, but they are either too stupid to realize what's going on, or denying it for some strange reason."

"What do I do?" Jimmy asked.

"You either end it now, and get out with as little as pain as possible, or you keep up this… whatever this is, and when it gets to the point you can't stand it, then you end it," Mini explained. "Either way, she's got him, he's got her, and your left alone."

"I don't know," Jimmy said, looking his cousin in the eye. "I think it's just going to take some time."

"Your funeral," Mini replied.

}o{

Sarah found him sitting out front, looking at the stars. "Chuck, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

Chuck shrugged. "You guys did say all I had to do was come. But it got weird again, that I'm the third wheel."

"You're not a third wheel," Sarah retorted.

"Sarah, that's exactly what I am. I am the textbook definition of a third wheel. I'm trying to give you two space, to… well… have a date. Then, you can come over later and tell me about it, and how much you like him and all that. But me being here… it's not good for you."

She stared at him and shook her head. "How?" she asked softly. Chuck turned to her. "You're the one who's been done wrong, and you're worried about me and Jimmy?" She sat there quiet for a few seconds. "I'm going to make this up to you."

Chuck turned to her and took her hands. "The only thing you need to do, is go have fun with your boyfriend, and don't worry about me. Okay?" Sarah looked down at the ground and he squeezed her hands. "Go have fun."

"Okay, but I still owe you."

"I'll put it on your tab," Chuck muttered, waving his hand at her. She hurried back inside. He sat there quietly stargazing, until he heard footsteps. "Who are you, the ghost of Christmas future?"

"Curls, you're an interesting fellow," Mini said, stretching out her long, bare legs in front of him. Chuck swallowed. "I may have finagled this whole thing, once I learned from Jimmy about his new girl, to check you out. I wanted to see if you'd steal her from him." She turned to look at him. "You wouldn't."

She sat there, watching him, until he shifted uncomfortably. She leaned over, put a hand behind his neck, and pulled him into a kiss. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, and he had no idea what to do. She pulled away, and grinned. "Your first?" He didn't answer. She licked her lips. "Not bad, Kid, and you taste good."

He nearly choked. "Why… why did you do that?!"

"Why didn't you stop me?" Mini asked. Chuck didn't say anything for a second. "Want me to be another first?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head no, and she leaned in, grinning. "I'll be gentle… or not, if that's what you want."

"Imwaytoyoung," he hurriedly replied.

"Call me when you decide you're old enough." With that, she got up and walked back inside. Chuck sat there the rest of the night, deep in thought.

}o{

Christmas neared, and Chuck observed Jimmy and Sarah during class, noticing something was clearly wrong. He and Sarah talked about her and Jimmy, but she never gave any details. He cornered Jimmy alone one day, shortly before Christmas break, and asked. "Hey, are you two okay? Can I help?"

"No," Jimmy replied, curtly.

"Have I done something?" Chuck asked, concerned.

Jimmy gave him a look, and then shook his head in frustration. "No, Chuck, but I feel like I'm sometimes the third wheel, when it comes to Sarah and I." He paused, and then continued. "And don't even say you'll back off, because you're doing nothing wrong, and Sarah would kill both of us… me more brutally."

"Jimmy, I'm-" he began.

"Chuck, I knew what I was getting into. Perhaps you should reevaluate what you think you mean to her," Jimmy offered.

"Jimmy, I'm not what she wants," Chuck replied, shrugging. "I wasn't enough to keep her here a few summers ago."

Jimmy didn't say anything for a moment. "You know what, I'm just gonna say this: Whether you were or were not, you might want to get over getting your feelings hurt. She cares about you, more than anyone I know of."

"Jimmy, you don't want to do what you're suggesting," Chuck said.

"Chuck, it's not working," he said, shrugging.

}o{

His window raised as he was playing video games. He turned it off, and sat with her on the bed. She leaned against him, and cried. "He broke up with me."

"He's an idiot," Chuck said. She looked at him and shook her head.

"No… I'm broken inside," Sarah said.

"No, you're not. We get along fine," Chuck retorted.

She shook her head. "Chuck, you are the only one that understands me. I'm going to be old and lonely. Mom is going to stay on me for not having someone, not caring how I feel. I can't feel for people the way they want. I tried with Jimmy, I really did, but he's right, I care more for you than I do for him." She looked up at him. "What am I going to do when you find someone?"

"She's going to understand that Sarah Walker is a part of my life," Chuck replied shrugging. "Besides, it's not like there's a line waiting for me, or anything." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'll make you a deal, Sarah: In 10 years, if we're both single, _I'll_ marry you."

She looked at him. "I can't," she said softly. "We're already married." Chuck raised an eyebrow in confusion, and then it dawned on him.

"Fine, we'll just stayed married," he said, shrugging. She wrapped her arms around him, laughing into his shoulder.

}o{

During the rest of their freshman year, Chuck went on a couple of dates, and Sarah on a few herself. Neither had a boyfriend or girlfriend. At organized school events, they went together. It was just easier. The year ended, and Sarah turned fourteen.

The two spent a lot of the time at the pool, water fights breaking out over absolutely nothing. They went to baseball games friends played in. They went to the park and listened to bands. And they spent many a night just watching the stars, talking, and laughing.

School soon started again, and as Chuck's birthday rolled around, he began to get anxious for his Care Bear comic. Sarah gave it to him the night before his birthday. The morning of his birthday, he was awakened by a hand on his shoulder, lightly shaking him. He opened his eyes, and there she was, standing over him. She grabbed the cupcake, and presented it to him.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: You all know who "Mini Hansen" is, right?


	9. Ch 9, 16th Birthday

A/N: 1996-1997….85% of 10th grade beginning of 11th. So now things calm down, right? RIGHT? Seriously how am _I_ writing this?

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

"Where are we going to college?" Sarah asked Chuck, a few days after his birthday.

"We?" Chuck asked. Sarah gave him a look. "Sarah, you need to go to a school you can afford, and is a good fit for you."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "What are you wanting to do?"

"Electrical Engineering at Stanford," Chuck replied.

"Fine, I'll double major in International Relations and Linguistics," Sarah replied, shrugging. Chuck's eyes boggled. "What? I can get a job anywhere in the area with that degree, and maybe I'll take care of all your global contracts for your games."

"How did you know I wanted to make video games?" he asked. She gave him a flat look. "Is it that obvious?"

She chuckled. "Yeah, especially when I read your diary."

"Sarah!" Chuck said, mortified, wondering if he had written anything in there about her.

"Chuck, I wouldn't do that. But you left some sketches on your desk of the cover you wanted for the video game."

"Oh," he replied. She snickered at him, and glanced past him at a girl two tables over, who was looking at Chuck. "What are you looking at?" he asked.

She chewed her sandwich, in thought. It was only, fair, right? He had tried to find her a boyfriend. It was fair, but why was it killing her? "Don't look… short brunette, two tables over."

"Probably Lou," Chuck replied. "Her dad owns a deli. Cute button nose?"

"Cute, huh?" Sarah asked, her eyebrows lifting, a grin on her face, as a cold ice pick of jealousy stabbed through her heart. Chuck shrugged, but the blush on his neck was obvious. "She might be watching you."

Chuck 'accidentally' knocked his fork off the table, and bent over to pick it up. Sarah had an amused look on her face as he sat back up. "Thank GOD you're not a spy, because that was obvious."

"What?" Chuck asked, as innocently as he could. Sarah shook her head, grinning.

"You're terrible," Sarah said. "Go to the bathroom."

"What?" Chuck asked, looking at her with confusion.

"I'm playing wing-man… go to the bathroom," she insisted. Chuck got up and headed toward the bathroom. Lou was watching him and as she turned back she saw Sarah watching her. Lou froze, but Sarah gave her a head tilt to come over to her table. Lou got up, walked over, and sat down. "Don't you dare hurt him."

"I'm sorry, what?" Lou asked.

"That is my best friend in the world, and if you hurt him… just, don't." Lou gulped. "Give me your hand," she said. Lou held out her hand, and Sarah wrote a number on her palm. "Call him tonight. Make sure and write that on paper." Lou just stared at her. "Well, go on. I'll take care of things, you just call him."

"And don't hurt him?" Lou asked, grinning.

"Yeah," Sarah replied.

"Thank you, Sarah," Lou said, scurrying back to her table. Sarah smiled as she nodded, proud of what she did… her stomach hurting, and a piece of her screaming.

}o{

"You're going to call her," Sarah insisted, walking behind him into the Bartowski home. Sarah had later secured Lou's number, since she knew she could force Chuck to call her.

"Who's he going to call?" Ellie asked.

"Shouldn't you be at college?" Chuck asked, trying to get the conversation off him.

"UCLA, little brother? I live here to make it more affordable?" she reminded him. "Now what 'her' are you calling?"

"Lou Palone," Sarah told Ellie.

"Palone's Sandwiches daughter, Lou?" Ellie inquired. Chuck threw up his hands and walked away. "Why are you doing this?" she asked Sarah, once Chuck was out of earshot in his bedroom.

"He deserves someone, someone who's good for him," Sarah explained. Ellie raised an eyebrow, and Sarah felt herself swallow. "What?"

"_You're_ good for him," Ellie said softly.

Sarah shook her head. "I destroy everything and everyone I care about, and he doesn't think of me like that."

"Have you asked him?" Ellie asked. Sarah stood there a minute, crossing her arms over her midsection.

"What if I ruin it, like I do everything?" Sarah looked up and held Ellie's gaze. "What if I just can't do relationships?"

"What if you can?" Ellie replied. Sarah stood there, legs shaking. "What if he's just so scared and stubborn, and needs someone to give him that push?"

"Why me?"

"Because no one on this planet loves him like you do," Ellie said, shrugging. "No one, and no one can."

"I left him," she said in a small voice.

Ellie looked from one side of her to the other. "Sarah, you're here now. Go in there and tell him." Sarah swallowed, nodded, walked to the door of Chuck's bedroom and looked in.

"Yeah, I got to see if I can get someone to drive us, but I could do a movie," she heard Chuck say. Sarah turned and walked into the living room, tears streaming down her face.

"Sweetie," Ellie said softly.

"No, it's for the best," Sarah said, her hand on the door. "Listen, this," she said, pointing back and forth between the two. "He doesn't get to hear about it, okay?" Ellie nodded. "Tell him I'll call him later." Ellie watched her leave, looked toward her brother's room, picked up a pillow, and screamed into it in frustration.

}o{

"What are we doing?" Sarah asked Ellie on Friday night, watching Chuck walk out the door to his date. His dad had agreed to drive him, after Ellie said she wasn't 'going to be a party to this'.

"First, is it my imagination, or did he bathe in that cologne?" Sarah giggled and nodded. "Okay, I have popcorn, ice cream, sodas, and a vegetarian pizza, no olives, on the way. We're having a girls' movie night."

"How did you know about my pizza?" Sarah asked, confused.

"Chuck told me about your vegetarian pizza with no olives, your rocky road ice cream, something about extra pickles on hamburgers, and Krackle candy bars." Sarah looked down at the ground, chewing on her lip. "But it's obvious he's soooooo much more into Lou."

"Okay, I get it… you're his sister, and you think I'm good for him. But every relationship I've ever had has been destroyed, except for you Bartowskis." Ellie reached over and squeezed her hand. "Ellie, I'm doing this for me, for him, for you, for your parents. How hurt was he when I left that summer?"

"He was hurt," Ellie admitted.

"Chuck loves so much, so hard, that if we tried… Ellie, we're in high school. I want us to have a real future and to be there for each other. If I try to date him, and screw it up… I can't lose him, Ellie. I can't," she added, her voice just above a whisper.

"Fine," Ellie said, throwing her hands up in the air. "It's your life."

"It is," Sarah replied. Ellie gave her a look and they both started laughing.

"Can I just say that one day, I hope he figures out you're worth everything."

"I don't know that I am, but I feel honored knowing you're rooting for me," Sarah replied.

"Need a hug?" Ellie asked. Sarah launched herself at the older girl, and the two held each other for a bit.

}o{

Chuck walked in, head down, Stephen behind him. "Hey," he muttered, and kept walking to his bedroom. Sarah and Ellie gave him a look, and all Stephen could do was shrug.

"You mind?" Sarah asked. Ellie winked at her, and Sarah went down to his bedroom door and knocked. "It's me." The door opened, and she came in. "Talk to me," she said, sitting on the bed. He was sitting on the window ledge, looking out.

"I think she wanted to kiss me," he said softly. "I have no idea how to kiss her."

Sarah stared at him, but he didn't turn towards her. She knew this was a make or break moment. The guy who had done everything in his power to make her life better was devastated, he needed help, and she could do it. But if she did, would she hate herself forever? Would she hate herself if she didn't?

"I can help," she heard herself say. Chuck's head turned slowly, his eyes wide.

"Wha?" he mumbled, in shock.

She straightened herself. "I can help you. You can practice kissing on me. It's probably best we don't tell anyone, though, because that could cause problems with Lou. Okay?"

"But wouldn't that be cheating on Lou?" Chuck asked.

Sarah groaned internally. "Are you exclusively dating?" Chuck shrugged. "If that's your answer, I'm guess the answer is no." She took a deep breath. "Now, come over here." He got up off the window ledge and walked over to her. "Kiss me, Chuck."

"Won't we get a divorce, then?" he asked, grinning. She grinned at him, and reached out, playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"That's only if there's a lot of kissing. This is practice," she replied, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Thank you for helping me."

"Who knows, you may be great at this," she said, smirking. He snorted. "You don't know."

"Have you _seen_ me walk? I'm the most uncoordinated thing, ever," he replied.

Sarah shook her head at him. "Okay, imagine that I am Lou. The moment is romantic, and she's close to you. She's looking into your eyes."

"Got it, okay," he said staring into her eyes.

"That's it, keep looking into my eyes," Sarah said softly. "Don't look up. If you can't hold her stare, if it's too much, look at her lips." Chuck changed his gaze slightly to her lips, unconsciously licking his own.

"Good, now move her hair back over her ear." Chuck moved her hair over her ear. "When you start to kiss, focus again on her." Chuck looked directly into her eyes, and Sarah thought her legs would give out from under her. "Then, just before your lips are about to meet, close your eyes." He closed his eyes, and gently kissed her. Her mouth opened, and he felt her tongue against his. He couldn't stop himself… he started to kiss her deeply.

The phone rang, pulling them apart. They looked at each other and then the phone.

"You should get that," Sarah told him.

"I should," Chuck said, not moving. "About that, I-"

"Chuck, get the phone," Sarah said. Chuck walked over to it, looked at her, and then frustrated, picked it up.

"Hello?" he answered. His eyes widened. "Lou! How are you." He covered the receiver and mouthed, _It's Lou._

She gave him a look and motioned for him to talk to her.

_I'm gonna go,_ she mouthed. He started to stop her, but she continued. _I'll see you tomorrow._ Sarah left the house, not saying a word. Ellie walked into the living room just in time to see the door shut. She shook her head and began to clean up.

}o{

Chuck, in fact, did not see Sarah the next day. He didn't see her all weekend. She was super busy at school, and said she needed to work on projects through lunch. On Wednesday, Chuck surprised her at her locker. She began to open her mouth, but Chuck just pressed a piece of paper in her hand and walked away, a sad look on his face.

She opened the letter.

_Sarah,_

_I am so sorry about Friday. Can we please talk? I miss you._

_Chuck._

Sarah held back the tears, but she really wanted to cry. At lunch, she sat her plate down at the table beside Lou and Chuck. "Hi, Lou," she said, smiling. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, are you?" Lou asked. "Chuck said you two were having a misunderstanding."

"Well, I'm not sure if we're having a misunderstanding as much as I owe him an apology," Sarah began.

"Sarah you don't owe me…" he trailed off seeing her look. "Okaaaayyyyy… maybe you do?"

Lou laughed at them. "I adore you two, and your friendship," she said, making them look at each other. "I just assumed you two were a couple, although the whole Jimmy thing was weird."

"That brings me to my apology," Sarah said. "Until now, I never appreciated how difficult it was being the 'third wheel,' as you called it. I never knew how hard it was for you to give us space, and yet be in my life, so I'm sorry. I was trying to give you two space."

"It's okay," Chuck replied, and Lou swatted him.

"Numbskull, she is trying to be the friend you deserve, and you say it's okay. You need to thank that girl."

Chuck turned to Sarah, widened his eyes and pressed his lips together making her chuckle. "Thank you," he said softly and warmly. Sarah really wanted to murder Lou right now, but this wasn't Lou's doing.

"So, here's the thing: I have actually been working on some stuff," Sarah admitted. Chuck gave her a look. "Well, you've been…" she winked at Lou. "Busy." Lou laughed, as Chuck blushed. "I'm going to be a tutor for the ACT."

"Really?" Chuck asked. "I am as well, the guidance counselor asked me today."

"So we may not see as much of each other, but you know where I am," Sarah told him.

"And we know you'll join us for lunch, right Chuck?" Lou asked. Chuck looked at Sarah, and shrugged as if to say, 'what can you do?'

"Are you sure?" Sarah questioned.

"Remember what you told me about Jimmy?" Chuck asked her. She gave him a mock glare for throwing her words back at her. "Sarah, you're my friend."

"He hasn't been happy without you around," Lou said with a shrug. "I knew what I was getting into."

Sarah smiled at them. Lou had no idea what she was getting into, but that wasn't her fault. Sarah was in love with Chuck, scared she would destroy what they had if they went much further, scared her heart would break if she watched him with Lou. That's why she had taken on the tutor role. "Okay, you win. I won't be riding the bus home, Chuck… I'm meeting my tutee."

"Gotcha," he said, as the bell rang. "Talk tonight?" She nodded, and headed off to class.

}o{

Sarah walked into the guidance office after school. "Good afternoon, Mrs. McNeely," Sarah said, smiling at her.

"Good afternoon, Sarah," she responded, a happy smile on her face. "I think I have found the solutions to both your problems."

"Oh," Sarah said, lighting up.

"So, you want to raise your ACT score to get into Stanford, correct?"

"No, I want to raise my ACT score to get scholarships, preferably a full-ride," Sarah corrected her.

"I see, and science is your," she glanced at her ACT. "Weakness?" she asked with a smile. "Now, I think between my letter of recommendation, and the one from the Dojo, we're in good shape there. I think you have scored high enough to get in." Sarah gave her a look. "Sarah, you can't sneer at a 4.0 and a 34 on the ACT."

"The recommendation is a 35, and if I get a 36, between mom's income, and need… I have a chance at a full-ride," Sarah said softly.

"So, we have to bring up this 30 in science. I swear, I have kids dying to make this score." She sat down the papers. "Why Stanford, Sarah? You can get free rides all over the state. Why is Stanford so important? This is not for some boy, is it?"

"Mrs. McNeely, I am going to double major in International Relations and Linguistics," Sarah began. Ms. McNeely's eyes widened. "If you add in a Stanford degree to that, I can do what I want. I have a friend whose heart is set on Stanford, but that doesn't matter. It's where _I_ want to go. I thought about Harvard, but it's cold there. And, well…"

"You enjoy the sun?" she asked. Sarah nodded. "Oh, here he is," Mrs. McNeely said. Sarah turned and locked eyes with her tutor/tutee.

"Of course it is," Sarah replied, turning back to Mrs. McNeely.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing at all," Sarah replied.

}o{

"What are the odds of us needing the other's help?" she asked Chuck, as they walked home.

"One million percent," Chuck replied, shrugging. She looked over at him. "It's true. Each time one of us has a problem, the other seems to know how to fix it."

"That's why we're so good as friends," she said softly.

"Yeah," Chuck replied. He glanced over at her, and then toward the ground. He cleared his throat. "Uh, are you sure things didn't get weird between us because, well, you know."

"What, that I kissed you?" she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.

"Pretty sure I kissed you," he replied, blushing, unable to look at her.

"Pretty sure I kissed you back," she replied. "But something you said, before Lou called… you asked if it was cheating on her, and I thought it kind of was." She took a deep breath. "Chuck, of course it got weird, we're friends, and I'm not saying we couldn't have a nice relationship, but… I screw things up. You were my best friend and I left you. I chose to leave."

"Sarah," Chuck began.

"No, I get to tell you everything, remember?" Chuck nodded. She gently took his wrist and stopped him, looking him in the eyes. "We're feeling a lot of things. We care about each other, and we have hormones for miles." Chuck grinned. "Don't think I haven't seen you check me out."

"I swear, I…" He watched the slow grin play across her face. "Yes. Yes, I have." Sarah threw back her head, and laughed.

"Chuck, we're human, and we've been through a LOT. SO MUCH. Do you want to risk losing all of that?"

"No," Chuck said, shaking his head. "No, you're too important to me, for… teenage hormones?"

"Exactly," Sarah replied. "Now, try and be a little less obvious when your checking out my ass."

"Sarah, we both know it's you, checking out mine," Chuck replied, turning and walking toward their homes. Sarah stood there. "You coming?"

"Just appreciating the view," she replied. He laughed, because he had, too. They had agreed. It shouldn't happen, but why did he feel that was the worst mistake he ever made? He should have said more, he should have told her that they _could_ have more. But he didn't, because he needed Sarah in his life, and he would do anything to keep her there.

She started to walk after him, feeling pain she didn't know existed. She had just taken her shot, and shoved it away. But she knew what would happen. She would run, wouldn't she? She had before. The second things got hard, she'd run, and she'd run from him again. What would that look like this time? What would that feel like, not only losing him, but possibly never getting his friendship back? She couldn't dream of a world without Chuck Bartowski in it. She had spent two months not having him, and she knew she couldn't do more than that. What he didn't know was he kept her grounded, all that time she was with her father. He was her lighting rod, her magnetic pole. Chuck Bartowski led her back… back home. That's what he was. Home. And she couldn't lose him. She was accepting having some of him, rather than all, with a chance of having none. And she hated herself for it.

}o{

"UUUUGGHHHH!" Chuck groaned, pushing the book away. "How about we _not_ go to Stanford?"

"Because you're getting your dream, Chuck Bartowski," she replied in a low dangerous voice. Chuck snapped his head over, looking at her. Her face read absolute sincerity. "_You_ are going to Stanford."

"Not without you," he said, reaching over and taking her hand.

"Fine," she replied, shrugging. "Then we do the work."

He nodded, and sat back, reluctantly letting go of her hand. "We do the work." His phone rang on the night stand. "But first I answer the phone." She shook her head at him. "Hello? Oh hey, Lou." A dark look crossed his face. "Uh, we've been working all morning, and we're going out to Sarah's favorite pizza place this afternoon."

Sarah kept her eyes glued to the book. She had wondered how long it would be until this happened. The two studied constantly for the ACT. Lou began to imply that the two were doing it just to spend time together. It wasn't like they were talking, or making out. Or holding each other's hands. Or Chuck giving her a foot massage when she nailed a question she had been struggling with… okay, that last one _had_ happened.

"Lou, Stanford is my future," Chuck said into the phone. "No, I'm not taking a shot at you because you want to work in a sandwich shop." He was silent, and he lifted his eyes and looked at Sarah. "No, I am not canceling tonight with her. You don't get to give me that kind of order."

Sarah was shaking her head at him. No, no, no, no, no, this was baaaaad.

Chuck sighed. "I don't want to do this over the phone." He listened for a minute. "Lou, you're wonderful, but I don't think we're in the right place to be with each other right now." He listened for a moment. "Lou? Hello?" He held the phone out and she heard the dial tone.

"Oh, Chuck," Sarah said softly.

He shook his head, a soft smile on his face. "She has her plans, I have mine, and we didn't feel strongly enough about each other to change them," he said, with a shrug.

"Am I gonna have to stay tonight, and hold you while you cry?" she asked.

"Oh, God, she would have a field day with that, wouldn't she?"

"You didn't answer the question," Sarah pointed out.

"I wish you would," he answered. She just gave him a soft smile and held his hands.

}o{

She didn't stay the night, but there was evidence of the two snuggled up on the couch watching a movie, and sufficient tissues in the waste basket to indicate someone crying into someone else's shoulder. The school year passed, and while each went out on a few dates with other people, their focus remained the same; get into Stanford, with full scholarships. Chuck's parents told him they could cover the rest. He asked who was going to pay Sarah's. They didn't have an answer, but Chuck didn't see the look on Stephen's face, or see him the next morning when he walked into his company.

The school year ended, both with 4.0s, and Sarah had her birthday. Chuck took her out to her favorite restaurant, a Mexican place. They celebrated her birthday, with the promise of when she came back on her 21st, there would be margaritas. That night, with Sarah sitting in a chair, studying, and humming the music from the restaurant, Emma extended an olive branch.

"I'm sorry," Emma said softly.

"What?" Sarah asked, raising her head, confused.

"I've been seeing a counselor," Emma began. Sarah's eyes widened. "It's not Chuck's mom… that's unethical or something. But I have seen one she recommended. I've been blaming you for a long time for what happened to me. But I worry about you."

"I know, and I promise, I'm not doing anything until college, okay?" Sarah replied.

"With Chuck?" Emma asked. Sarah dropped the book. "Honey…"

"Mom, no… I run when it gets hard. And as great as he is, I'm no fool. I've seen it, relationships… they're hard."

"They are. Anything worth having is," Emma agreed.

"And he is worth it, but if it goes wrong- and with me, it probably will- then what?"

"Sarah, he's your friend," Emma began.

"What if I sleep with someone? What if I hurt him in some way? How can Chuck forgive me?"

Emma sat there, not sure what to say. "I don't know," she admitted. She took a deep breath. "But you love him."

"Of course I love him!" Oh God! She had said it out loud. "But I can't… We've talked, we've agreed. It can't happen."

"If I'd been a better mother, maybe you-"

"Mom, stop," she said, taking her mom's hands. "This isn't on you. This is just who I am. You know, after we finish college, maybe we can try. I don't think we should, but maybe."

"I think you should," Emma said. "But, as you have reminded me time and time again, it's your life, not mine." She pulled Sarah into a hug, and the tears flowed from both of them. Both of them knowing what she was giving up on.

}o{

She came back from Chuck's house. She had just given him his Care Bear comic and was feeling a little down. The cupcake was made. She would frost it in the morning.

Emma and Sarah had worked on their issues during the summer, and something Emma told Sarah had stuck in her mind. Emma had been writing a letter to Sarah, apologizing. The letter explained why she had done what she had done, because Emma didn't always recognize what she had done had hurt her. Sarah got a pen and paper.

_Dear Chuck,_

_How do I ask you to forgive me, when I can't even forgive myself__?__ I didn't think you were enough after my Granny died. I didn't think I could handle living in this house__,__ where her memories were everywhere. Today, I only think of the good times with her. I walked away from the one person who made me smile. I don't deserve you. I want to be with you, __but__ I don't deserve you. I want you to know how I feel__. I__'m selfish, Chuck. Instead of giving you everything I have, I make sure I have you. Because while this hurts, the way we are, if I didn't have you, I don't know what I would do. I love you, Chuck. I always will._

She sat there, tears streaming down her face. She knew what would happen if he ever tried, even a little bit, to break down her walls. She'd crumble. But the question became what would she do if she did crumble, and then got overwhelmed? That thought is what kept her lips sealed.

}o{

He lay in his bed, feeling something tickling his nose. His brain was trying to remind him of something, but he couldn't remember what it could be. He opened his eyes to see the top of a blonde head and two blue eyes staring at him. A cupcake slowly rose to cover those eyes.

"You're a dork," he snorted.

"Yeah, but I'm adorable," she replied.

"You're beautiful," he said softly. She smiled at him.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

A/N: Oh law….do we need to all lie down. I am. That was a long one, but a lot that had to happen.


	10. Ch 10, 17th Birthday

A/N: 1997-1998….85% of 11th grad beginning of 12th. Excuse me for a moment, I would like to address 1% of the audience For the "brave" guest that said the angst is contrived move it along….you're welcome to move along. It's not contrived, this is my first story like this. I told you what was coming. The social contract is, you know, you don't get to get upset. Also, those of you who only post to tell me what I did wrong, I have social anxiety. I tell myself daily. Some days I can barely post because I'm so worried about how much people will hate what I write. I'm human, I'm going to screw up. You want to discuss choices, I welcome that. But when you're only posts are what I do wrong…please don't. If my errors bother you that much just don't read. You're not my content police.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

He walked out of the room in the courthouse, and watched the two women who were watching him. 'Did you get it?" The blond asked, knowing he did. Pfft, him failing a written test? He grinned as he lifted the permit in his hand.

"You know you need a licensed driver with that, right, Son?" Mary asked, a grin on her face. "And a vehicle?"

"I know, Mom," Chuck replied, but Sarah was currently hugging him and kissing him on the cheek. "What's the big deal?"

"Once you get your license, you can take me to school and home," Sarah told him.

"I mean, I can," Chuck began. Sarah turned to Mary.

"Mrs. Bartowski, your son is not treating me like family," Sarah teased.

"Chuck take your… Sarah to school, _if_ you get a car," Mary said joining in.

"Mooooom," Chuck whined and then began to laugh. He saw the look the two shared. "What?" Mary tilted her head as if to say _follow me_.

"You know your father has been helping the Buy More get set up in Burbank, right?" Mary asked.

"Yeah," Chuck replied.

"They have an older Nerd Herd car that they sold your father," Mary began.

"Oh, God," Chuck muttered.

"Hey, your dad got you a car, be grateful!" Sarah said, slapping his arm. He looked at her, astonishment on her face.

"But I'll be a laughing stock," Chuck countered.

"Then I will be too, riding with you," Sarah said. Chuck studied her, and turned to his mom.

"You know what? Sarah's right. Thank you," he said, hugging his mom. She smiled at him as he took off, and gave a whoop as he saw his father and the car outside.

"You're good for him, you know," Mary said softly. Sarah turned to her. "You keep him centered. His feet on the ground. And you don't let him get to down on himself. Thank you." Mary hugged a surprised Sarah.

"I… I just want him to be the best he can be," Sarah said softly. Mary pulled away, and gave her a look. "Please, don't you start, too."

"Nope, Stephen and I are staying out of it… unless one of you asks our opinion. And then… then I am going to tell you some things. Just as if you were my daughter."

"Don't let mom hear you say that," Sarah said, grinning.

"Are you kidding? We both think of you as our son and daughter," Mary informed her. Sarah's mouth dropped. "You two will figure this out."

"I can't, Mary. I can't lose him," Sarah insisted.

Mary studied her for a long minute. "You're not there, yet," Mary said

"I'm never going to be in a spot to lose him," Sarah replied.

"Yes, you are, you both are, and in that moment, you're going to need courage to do the hardest thing you have ever had to do. The hardest thing both of you will have to do."

Sarah stood there, waiting for Mary to continue, but she didn't. "What," Sarah asked, her voice breaking. "What is the hardest thing we're going to have to do?"

"Believe that your good enough for each other. Believe that you're enough to make the other happy. But you're not there yet."

"I'm not enough, and I'm not losing him as my friend," Sarah insisted.

"You're wrong on the first, but I believe you on the second… just not the way you mean right now," Mary said, a knowing smile on her face. "Come on, you're riding with me and Chuck in that car."

"Can I ride with Stephen?" Sarah asked, making Mary laugh at loud. Sarah followed, wondering exactly what Mary meant.

}o{

Chuck was lying on his bed, on a Saturday night. They had just finished taking the ACT that morning, and he was reading a graphic novel, listening to a CD.

"The Spice Girls, Chuck?" Sarah asked, lifting his window.

"I'm not… this isn't mine… okay, fine, I like _If You Wanna Be My Lover_," Chuck replied, with a huff.

"They gotta get with my friend," Sarah said, grinning.

"Which would be you," Chuck said, scooting over as she plopped on the bed beside him.

"Nope, you," she retorted, taking the graphic novel out of his hand, putting it on the night stand, rolling onto her side, and burying her head into his shoulder. "I didn't score well enough," she said softly.

"Yeah, you did, and if you didn't, well, I didn't either, and we'll find somewhere else to go," Chuck replied.

"No, you are going to Stanford," Sarah said, sighing.

"Not without you," Chuck countered. She raised her head, and he looked into her tired eyes.

"Charles Irving Bartowski," she began.

"Eep," he squeaked.

"You are going to Stanford, with or without me, and you will make good grades, or so help me I will kick your cute little skinny ass all over Burbank, the greater Los Angeles area, and most of California."

"You said my ass is cute," Chuck pointed out.

"You know I like it," Sarah said with a shrug.

"You can beat me up all day long, but I'm not going without you," Chuck said. She moved to where her nose was an inch from his.

"Yes, you are," Sarah told him.

"No, I'm not," Chuck told her.

"God, you are _so_ annoying."

"Have you looked in the mirror?" Chuck countered.

"Nah, I see you drooling at me, so I know I look good," she said with a smirk.

"I can't _not_ have you at Stanford," Chuck told her.

She kissed his forehead. "I'll be there, Chuck, I promise." She snuggled into his shoulder, closed her eyes, and promptly feel asleep. He thought he'd let her sleep a few minutes.

Three hours later, Mary opened the door.

"She's here, Emma, fast asleep. Both fully clothed, not even in PJs." Mary smiled. "They're both exhausted from the test. Want me to wake them?" Mary pulled the door shut. She chuckled. "I'm sure they'll both properly freak out about it in the morning."

}o{

Two months later, Chuck was entering his room as the window was going up. Sarah was climbing in, looking upset. She had seemed fine when he dropped her off at her house moments ago.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She shoved the paper she was holding into his face. He opened it up and looked at it. "Sarah, you got a 35!"

"Yeah, 36 on every section but one," she grumbled. "Freaking science was a 34."

"That's my fault," Chuck said.

She gave him a look. "No, Chuck it isn't, but I'm going to have to take it over."

"Sarah, between your GPA, your outside work with creating that Thanksgiving food drive for needy families, and this," he said, holding up the paper. "You're in."

"But it's not a full ride," she said.

"I swear I'll help you get the other scholarships," Chuck told her. "You haven't been on a date in forever."

"I don't want to go on a date," Sarah replied, blowing her hair up out of her face. "I want to hang out with you, get a full ride with Stanford, and freaking relax. Not impress some jackhole that's gonna slobber all over my face and tell me how good it would make me feel if he made a woman out of me."

Chuck stood there, a thundercloud on his face. "Guys have said that to you?" Sarah gave him a look. He reached for his keys. "Names."

"Chuck, sweetie, what are you gonna do? Trip and fall into them, hoping it would hurt them?"

"Maybe," Chuck said, still mad.

"Chuck," she said softly, and came over to wrap her arms around him. "I'm not worried about those asshats. I've got you, and the Spice Girls singing about you."

"You're Scary Spice," he muttered.

"Then you're Baby Spice," she replied.

"Great, now you're gonna call me Baby all the time, and people will think we're dating."

She gave him a look, shook her head and headed for the front room. "Come on, Baby, let's go see what you scored."

}o{

Chuck got a 36, and immediately felt terrible. Sarah tackled him in excitement, and began to tickle him until he was laughing and as excited as she was. Mary and Stephen just shared a look and shook their heads, smiling. Sarah said she was going to Stanford with him, and she was going to do all she could to get there, which meant she was swearing off all social life… save Chuck.

Chuck doubled down on his efforts to help her get that 36, and a full ride to Stanford. Christmas came and went, and Sarah asked him to help her with little projects here and there, to help her with her application to Stanford. She was trying as hard as she could to make it look perfect. She realized she was pulling him away from his social life, and when she said something about it, he gave her a look and told her if he didn't want to be there, he wouldn't.

Time rolled into spring, and the school was buzzing about the prom… everyone except Chuck and Sarah, anyway. "You going to the prom?" Chuck asked Sarah at lunch, after seeing a group of girls squeal over picture of a prom dress.

"Nope," Sarah replied. "I'm against that social construct."

Chuck snorted at her elitist affectation. "So, if I asked you to go, you wouldn't?" he asked, grinning at her.

"Okay, I'd go if you asked… but can't we just hang out that night?"

"What about the fancy meal?"

"Burgers, extra pickles?" she offered.

"You drive a hard bargain, woman," Chuck replied smiling. "It's not a date," he said holding out his hand.

"Not a date, Baby," she said, shaking his, while smirking.

"How long is that joke gonna run?"

"Until I tire of it," Sarah replied with a shrug. The bell rang. "Ugh, this weekend, can we just chill?"

"You're the one hell-bent on doing all this stuff for Stanford," he said, giving her a one arm hug and kissing the top of her head. "Let me know if you can live not doing anything after school."

"I will," she said, heading toward her locker. She opened the door, got out what she needed, shut the door, and there stood the head cheerleader, Ashley.

"Hi, Sarah," Ashley said, looking extremely nervous. "Are you and Chuck going to the prom together?"

"No," Sarah replied.

"Are you two exclusive, like, are you boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Sarah chuckled. "We are friends, have been since we were kids. You know that Spice Girls song, about you gotta get with my friends? That's me and Chuck. We're each other's best friend."

Ashley bit her bottom lip. "Do you think he'd go to the prom with me?" Sarah's eyes bugged out. "I mean, he's cute, and kind, and charming, and-"

"Yeah, he is," Sarah replied. "But what about Brad?" Ashley's face seemed like a thundercloud had covered it.

"That asshole?" she asked. "We are so done."

"You're serious about Chuck?" Sarah asked. Ashley nodded. "You know he's not a fancy guy, and if you want all the extra stuff, he's not going to know what to do."

"I know," Ashley replied. "I just want a guy to treat me right, you know, that night."

Sarah swallowed thickly. "Ashley… Chuck… he… ah…"

"Oh," she said with a smile. "That's okay, I can teach him."

Sarah tried to control her emotions. "I'm pretty sure that's the last thing he wants."

"So, you won't help me get him to ask me?" Ashley asked. "I'm not good enough for him?"

"I have no idea if you are or not," Sarah snapped back. She took a deep breath. "What I'm saying is, with that approach, with that… _that_, as your endgame… you might not get him to go out with you."

"So, we need to see each other beforehand?" Ashley offered.

"I don't think Chuck would have sex with you, just to have sex with you. Not without some… connection. Some… personal… internal connection."

"Those guys exist?" Ashley asked. "What's he doing this weekend?"

"I think I can arrange for him to be free," Sarah said. "Why him?"

"Like I said, I'd like to have a nice guy to take me to prom, you know?"

"Yeah," Sarah replied. "I know."

}o{

He and Ashley did go out Friday night, at Sarah's urging. They went on several dates and Sarah was happy for him… she wanted to murder them both and hide the bodies, but she was happy for him. Ashley was begging Sarah to encourage Chuck to ask her to the prom, and he did. She said yes, and Chuck Bartowski was about to take the head cheerleader to the prom. Something in her gut told her something was off, but she chalked it up to jealousy.

She went with him to try on tuxes and she had to admit, he looked _good_. She found herself smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles a couple of times.

It was the Friday before prom, and Chuck and Ashley were on a date. Chuck said he was having fun with her, and when Sarah pressed him on what fun consisted of, he replied that he had remained a perfect gentleman. Sarah asked him if that's what Ashley wanted, and he turned beet red.

Her window went up and Jimmy's cousin, Mini, crawled into her room. "I know you have no reason to, but I need you to trust me… come on." Sarah left her mom a note, and headed out the window with Mini. They got in Mini's car and took off. Mini took her out to a field, where a party was going on. She pointed to a spot behind the trucks. "You should be able to hear everything from there. Keep your head down, and no one will know. You see the trail I'm pointing to? That will get you there."

"Yeah, I see it. Why?"

"You need to hear this from the horse's mouth," Mini explained. "Go, you'll know when it's time to leave." Sarah nodded, headed for the trail that looped around the vehicles, and found herself behind the truck. She squatted down and listened, clearly able to tell the difference in people's voices.

"There she is," she heard a familiar voice. It was Jimmy! "Brad, meet my cousin, Mini."

"Hey, handsome," Mini said, her voice dripping honey. "I've heard you're on the market."

"Nah, I'm still with my girl," Brad replied.

"I thought Ashley was going to prom with that Bartowski guy? Come on, hot stuff, you need to get over her and I'm just the girl to do it."

Brad and the other guys laughed. "Want in on a secret? Ashley is setting Bartowski up. He was supposed to help me last semester, tutor me. I didn't need no damn tutoring, I just needed an A on my paper so I could play. I told him to write it, he refused, and we lost the game because of him. Because I didn't play. He messed up everything. He could have cost me a scholarship."

"What's that got to do with him taking your girl to the prom?" she heard Mini ask.

"Ash was PIIIISSSSSSSED!" Brad said, taking a drink of beer. "She began to set this thing up. She found out Chuck was dating that Lou girl, and she got into Lou's ear, telling her that Chuck was banging that Walker chick on the sly."

"That doesn't sound like something Chuck would do," Mini said. Sarah was livid.

"Ashley's gonna embarrass the shit out of him at the prom. She's going to make a scene, tell him he never had a chance with her, and then we're getting back together right then and there. Bartowski is going to be the laughingstock of school. Maybe that girl he hasn't the balls to do anything with will get sick of his shit and leave him, too. And the best thing is, she won't be at prom. She's got a stick up her ass about going to some school. How much of a pussy is this guy? Hanging out with her all the time and can't even get none?"

Sarah had heard enough. Her first instinct was to walk around the truck and kick Brad in his nonexistent balls, but that would put Mini in a bad place. She quietly snuck back the way she came, got into the car, and waited for Mini to come back. Neither said a word the entire drive home.

}o{

"Why would she let him kiss her if she's still seeing Brad?" Sarah asked out loud.

"Some people will do anything to get what they want, to reach their goal," Mini replied, as they sat on Sarah's bed.

"To do a con," Sarah said softly.

"That's a great way to describe it," Mini agreed. "So how do we stop it?"

"We can't," Sarah replied. Mini stared at her. "If we stop it, they just get him later, some other way." Sarah chewed on her bottom lip. "They put theirs into motion, and then we put ours… or mine."

"What?" Mini said.

"They think no one wants Chuck. I prove them wrong," Sarah replied.

}o{

Chuck walked into the prom, smiling from ear to ear, Ashley on his arm. About thirty minutes in, Brad walked up to the two of them. "Hey, Brad, I don't want any trouble," Chuck began.

"Ain't gonna be no trouble, loser, she's going with me." Ashley smiled at Brad and walked over to him. "What? You thought she was really going to go to the prom with you? Maybe pop your cherry later?"

"I never…I never said anythi-"

"Shut up, you pitiful freak!" Brad yelled, all attention now on Chuck. "You cost us a state title in football. You may have cost me a scholarship. We get it, Bartowski, you're gonna blow this Popsicle stand and be great. But you're a nerd, and you're gonna be alone the rest of your life."

"The hell he is," Chuck heard Sarah's voice say. She walked through the crowd, her hair up, in a red dress, or was it salmon, he didn't know, but his mouth dropped. She walked up to him, and planted a kiss on him that made his knees wobbly. She pulled away, and looked at Brad and Ashley, their mouths hanging open. "Thank you," she simply said. "You made me realize what I nearly missed out on." She turned to Chuck. "Come on, let's get out of here." Chuck could barely think straight, and he nodded, following her as the crowd clapped their approval. Ellie stood in the back, nodding her own approval. She went back to her car she had used to bring Sarah, and watched Chuck and Sarah drive off in his retired Herder.

}o{

They were sitting on the beach, Chuck just staring at the water, tears in his eyes. He'd heard the whole story from Sarah.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. They think we're dating now," she said softly, ending the story.

He reached over, and took her hand. "I think I should say I'm sorry. They think you're stuck with me."

"Hey," she said, softly but sharply, making his head whip around. "I should be so lucky." He snorted and shook his head. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking they tried to embarrass me, all because I did the right thing." Chuck looked back out over the water. "Sarah, I gave him all of the resources. I highlighted important passages. I had it all there for him, and all he had to do was type. And he blames me, because I wouldn't write it."

"He's a joke," Sarah said softly, putting her arm around his shoulder. "He's a guy who these are his glory days. It won't get any better for him than right now. And Ashley is one failed semester away from her debut in _Playboy Magazine's Girls of California JuCo_."

"You know what, I'm done with this place. Let's get our diplomas, and get the hell out of that school."

"Okay," Sarah said, her chin on his shoulder. "So… what are we gonna do about us?"

"Just be us," Chuck replied with a shrug. "Who fudgin' cares what anyone else thinks." He thought about how they left, and turned to her quickly, his eyes wide. "Wait, I just realized… they think… we…" He made a circle with the thumb and index finger of his left hand, and inserted the index finger of his right into the encircled space.

"Please finish that sentence," she said, her face lit with a grin.

"They think we had _the sex_," he blurted out.

"No, Chuck," Sarah replied, making him blow out a breath in relief.

"They think we made sweet love on this beach until the sun rose." Chuck made a choking sound and Sarah fell back laughing.

"And you're okay with that?" he asked.

"Absolutely," Sarah replied, holding her arms out. He curled up beside her, laying his head on her shoulder. "We got this, Baby," she said.

"You can quit that any time."

"You like it," she retorted.

And if Chuck was honest… he did.

}o{

The year finished, everyone thinking Chuck and Sarah were a couple. The fact Sarah told everyone he didn't believe in PDA helped. Sarah turned 16, got her permit, and Chuck found himself praying often, as Sarah drove the Reterder, as they'd come to refer to his retired Herder, quite fast. The summer passed, she passed her driving exam, and their senior year began.

Chuck's birthday approached, and when he opened up the ACT study book to work with Sarah two days before his birthday, he found a Care Bears comic. Sarah grinned, and they got to work, after Chuck carefully put his comic in its place with the others.

The morning of his birthday, Chuck awoke, peering over his bed for two blue eyes. He looked at the window, and smiled when saw them there, peering at him. A cupcake rose in front of them. "Dork!" he yelled.

"Nerd!" she yelled back. Chuck got up and opened the window. She handed him the cupcake.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Next chapter, we take our foot off the pain, I promise. It's a lot better. That one was a little rough.


	11. Ch 11, 18th Birthday

A/N 1: New guest reviewer, I think you misunderstood what I was TRYING to say. If you log in as a guest, when it says this will have angst and your review is: Contrived angst, move on, that is breaking the contract. I take all criticism, but to only point out what I do wrong, that's not helping anyone.

A/N 2: 1998-1999….85% of 12th grade beginning of freshmen year of college. Okay, let's talk. I NEED this chapter. Because while I know the end's near, the next four or five chapters…oof. Just….oof. I get it, there are four chapters coming that I do not want to write (one of them is already written though. We are going to get there together, I promise. As bad as some of it is, I still think some of the previous stuff is worse. I'm not writing this to hurt anyone, and you, the readers have named me the king of fluff, so let me promise you this, once we get there, let the fluff, fluff. I mean we're gonna get stupid fluffy. We DESERVE it. So, for a moment, let's relax, have a year of fun, what do you say? Get your DJ Mike version of _What's Up_ on, and let's party.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

For four months, Chuck and Sarah spent every waking moment either prepping for her ACT, doing leadership projects to beef up her application to Stanford, or just hanging out, resting.

It was the Friday after Thanksgiving. The entire blended family was there, and since yesterday they had been helping out at a kitchen, all with the goal of helping Sarah. She was a part of the family, whether she was romantically with Chuck or not. She watched the Bartowskis, and longed to be an actual part, but she still questioned herself; was she enough? Was she enough for anyone?

"God, they are so much," Ellie said to her softly. Sarah turned, amusement on her face and a raised eyebrow making Ellie snort. "But they are."

"And you're the ringleader," Sarah pointed out.

"Nah," Ellie disagreed. "Mom is."

"Your mother never leads any of the Bartowski moments," Sarah countered.

"No," Ellie agreed. "She's just the shadow power, pushing people's buttons." Ellie took a drink and glanced at Sarah. "You're running out of time."

"Out of time for what?" Sarah asked, fully turning to the older Bartowski child.

"Time before she starts working on you two," Ellie replied, a smirk on her face.

"She said she was going to stay out of it," Sarah said, remembering the conversation from last year.

"I won't say anything until you ask," Ellie said, grinning over her drink. "How many times do you think I've heard that from my psychologist mom?"

"Oh, God," Sarah muttered, burying her face in her hands. "She's using her degree on me."

"Welcome to the family" Ellie chirped, walking away. Sarah found herself chuckling as Chuck walked up to her.

"Hey, you," she said, gabbing his belt loops and pulling him into a hug. "No ACT'ing or doing Sarah stuff today. Today is your day."

"But I enjoy doing Sarah stuff," he replied, grinning at her.

"That sounds a little dirty," she said with a smirk. He grinned at her.

"If you two platonic lovebirds could join us," Stephen said. Everyone looked at Stephen. "What?"

}o{

The last ACT date came and went, and the application to Stanford sent in. Sarah kept trying to figure out ways to pad her application, as Chuck continued to remind her it was in, and whatever happened they would deal with. She tried to argue with him, but the look he gave her, for once, made her back down; and that did something to her insides that she was _not_ ready to deal with. Christmas came and went. The spring semester was in full drive as they headed toward Valentine's day, and both agreed they would spend the day together, watching horror movies.

"Why did we do this?" Chuck asked, his head buried in her shoulder.

"Come on, Chuck," Sarah said, grinning. "It's just a movie."

"_They_ thought it was just a movie, and now look at them," Chuck countered, burying himself deeper in her shoulder. She found she really didn't mind scary movies with him. In fact, if they were dating she thought she might insist on scary movies once a month… or week. She blinked, realized where her mind was going. This was no good.

"Okay, I can't anymore," he said, hopping up, and walking out of the room. Sarah turned off the dvd player, and wondered where he had gone. He came back in with a wrapped present in each of his hands. "So, since all men are stupid and not asking you out," he began, getting the huge smile he was hoping for. "I got us this." He gave her both boxes. "You choose which is yours and which is mine." She opened both and looked from one to the other and then to him.

"Okay, this is just impossible," she said grinning and lifting two half heart necklaces, one with R2D2 on it, the other with C3PO. "So you would think, being the linguist that he is, I'd be C3PO."

"Right," Chuck replied. "But the ironic thing is you don't like to actually talk about things and make grunts and noises, a lot like R2D2."

Sarah was smiling at him. "You can be so annoying."

"You're always ignoring my suggestion and do what you want," Chuck added.

"Suddenly this seems a lot easier," she said, getting her knees on the couch, reaching up, running her hand against his face and lightly kissing him on the lips. She pulled away. "You're gonna make someone the best boyfriend ever."

"Plus, I vacuum, do laundry, and wash dishes," he said with a grin.

"Jesus, Chuck, when you flirt, you flirt." They both cracked up. Feeling both on top of the world, and having their world crushed at the same time, not being together.

}o{

"So you're not doing prom?" Sarah asked, lying against him on the sofa, on a Friday afternoon in April.

"As a great philosopher once said, 'I don't believe in that social construct.'"

"Great philosopher?"

"That would be you," he said kissing the top of her head. "I have to get the mail."

"I'll grab yours, I need to check mine anyway," she said, hopping up. "This philosopher can take care of herself."

"I know you can, but it's also okay to let others take care of you, sometime," Chuck replied with a shrug, watching TV the whole time. She didn't know how to respond, so she fled, Chuck never noticing. He nearly fell off the couch when he heard the scream. By the time he figured out which way was up, Sarah was back inside, holding a big package, bouncing.

"CHHHHUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK!" she yelled, bouncing up and down. "It's from STANFORD!"

"That's not a rejection letter," Chuck muttered racing with her to the kitchen table. She opened the package, grabbed the papers, and handed half of them to Chuck. She was scanning them looking from one to the other when she heard him. "Holy shit, you did it," he whispered. She stopped and turned to him, seeing the adoration in his eyes for her. "You did it, you miracle worker."

"What?" she asked, daring not to dream.

"You got a full ride." No sooner than the words came out of his mouth than she jumped out of her chair, straddling him, hugging him for all she was worth.

"What's going on in here?" Stephen asked.

"She got a full ride to Stanford," Chuck told them, holding on to her.

"Oh," Stephen said, and walked away. Chuck wondered if his mother should get checked for a concussion from the eye-roll that she gave Stephen.

}o{

That night became a full-blown party for the blended family. "Does this mean you'll go to prom now?" Emma asked Sarah.

"No, I don't want to fool with it. Plus, I'd have to ask someone, and you know what he'd want to do…"

"Dance with you?" Chuck offered.

"Mattress dance, amiright?" Ellie said, having come home once she heard the news. Mary gave her a look. "Sorry," she offered, but Mary was smiling at her.

"So let me get this right: If you could go to the prom, and know someone would act like a gentleman, _and_ would understand the date was a one-time thing… would you go?" Chuck asked. Sarah looked at him, pondering what he was up to.

"I mean I'd have to find a dress last second," Sarah began.

"It's on me, my gift," Mary said, her eyes twinkling.

"Okaaay," Sarah drawled with a smile. "He'd have to find a tux."

"Got that too," Mary added. "And I'll take care of reservations."

"I'll rent a limo," Stephen offered.

Chuck got up, walked over to the chair Sarah was sitting on, and her eyes went wide. "Relax, we're already married, I can't re-propose."

"Wait, he actually proposed?" Mary asked.

"With a sucker ring, no less," Sarah said. Everyone laughed. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Sarah Lisa Walker," Chuck began. She thought her heart would explode. "Would you do me the honor of being my date to the senior prom? I promise, no funny business, no expectations past that night… and to show you the best time you've ever had."

She took his face in her hands. "And if I want to kiss you?"

"You don't have cooties, right?" he asked conspiratorially. She shook her head while laughing. "Then it's your call, on that."

"I accept," she said smiling, and gave him a peck on the lips. "You're the best, and you know it."

"Make sure you still say that when we start dancing," Chuck said, making everyone laugh.

}o{

If he thought going with Sarah to pick out a tux for the prom was hard last year, going with Sarah, Ellie, Mary, and Emma was an experience he'd never forget. After what seemed like hours, he may have snapped… spoiler alert, he snapped. "If you all don't mind, I only care about one opinion!" he nearly growled.

"About time," he heard Mary say to Emma.

Sarah walked up to him made a motion for him to turn around, and he did. She gave him a look. "Slower."

"Seriously, you're gonna check me out in front of our parents?"

"I need to make sure those pants don't split, because you're gonna dance all night with me, Baby." Chuck grinned, lifted up the back of the coat and slowly turned. He stopped with his backside to her, squatted slightly and shook it. She swatted him, making him high step forward. "I like that one, it passes the test," Sarah told him, grinning.

When they got to the dress shop, Mary held Emma and Ellie back. "I think these two can handle it." Sarah and Chuck exchanged a look, and went inside.

"This suddenly feels a lot more serious," Chuck said.

"Yeah, it's why I thought about saying no," Sarah told him. Chuck looked over at her. "Come on, Chuck, one magical night, and you know what we'd both be thinking. Again, do we want to ruin things because of hormones, because you look good in a tux?"

"I do look good in a tux," he admitted. She shoulder-bumped him. "But, I get what you mean. You can't do it."

She turned slowly to him. "I can't what?"

Chuck turned to face her. "For one night, forget who I am. For one night, think I'm just some guy that you know a little bit, and think, he might be a fun date." She twisted her lips, fighting a grin. "For one night, just say 'screw it, I'm going to enjoy dancing with that guy in a tux'."

"And the next day?" Sarah asked, taking a step towards him.

"The next day, we're best friends again," Chuck said, taking a step, an inch between their nose. "But that night… it's a date."

"What do you think I should wear on this… date?" Sarah asked. Chuck looked around, and saw it. It was shoulderless, the top gleaming with what seemed to be a gold accent, the skirt flowing in white. She followed his eyes and looked back at him, smirking. "You think you can go back to being best friends with me wearing that."

"No, I _know_ I can," he replied. She held out her hand.

"It's a date," she said.

"It's a date," he replied. Both refused to look back, but both wondered if they had just made a huge mistake.

}o{

The big day finally arrived. Mary and Ellie were smiling at him, both nearly tearing up. "You've got this, Chuck," Ellie said.

"I know I do, it's hanging out with Sarah," Chuck replied. Ellie groaned and rolled her eyes.

"He's not ready yet dear. Neither is she," Mary told Ellie.

"Who's not what?" Chuck asked.

"You two, you aren't ready yet," Mary said with a shrug.

"What does that mean?"

Mary locked eyes with him. "Son, there's a day coming when both of you are going to realize what you are going to lose if you don't act. That both of you are going to realize that you can't live without the other."

"Mom-"

"No, you are going to listen to me on this," Mary insisted. "You two have something worth fighting for, and you can't go far enough to fight for it. But only when you are both ready."

"I don't think she's ever going to be ready," Chuck said softly. "I'm not enough."

Mary laughed. "Son, 'not enough' is not what Sarah is worried about, unless she means she's 'not enough' for you."

"How could she ever think that?" Chuck asked, honestly.

"Maybe tonight is about you being you, and showing her that she _is_ enough," Mary offered.

"But we promised this was a one-night thing," Chuck countered. Mary just grinned at him.

"See, Ellie? Not ready." Chuck couldn't say anything. "Well, she's over there, go get her." Chuck grinned, and headed over to Sarah's. He knocked on the door and turned to look back at the street. He heard the door open, and turned… and felt his mouth drop and his eyes bug out.

"Is it okay?" she asked, nervously.

"You are so pretty," he said, words just tumbling from his mouth. "No, gorgeous… no, I-I… God, Sarah, you are… perfect."

Her eyes shone. "Thank you, Chuck," she said softly. She offered him her arm and they began to head toward the car… and then Emma and Mary dragged them back to the house for pictures.

}o{

"This is nice, Chuck," Sarah said, smiling at him.

"Yeah, I knew a lot of places would be packed, but this place is amazing," Chuck said. "And it's more in line with my budget."

"You parents didn't give you any money?" Sarah asked grinning.

"They offered, but I wanted to do this for us… for you… you know?"

Something warmed in her that she was unable to control. "Thank you, Chuck, that's sweet."

"Wow, sweet," he said grinning. "Way to make me feel like an 8-year-old." She smirked at him. "So, there's something you need to know, and I don't say it enough, but we're on a date, so I'm gonna."

"It's your funeral, Buddy," she said with a grin.

"Sarah, you are amazing… an amazing girl… no, woman. You are kind, you protect me, you make me feel important. You keep going on about how you destroy relationships, but… what we have… I think as long as we keep fighting for it, we can't destroy it. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met, and whoever has the opportunity to do this with you, on a regular basis, you know… I'm gonna be jealous."

She just stared at him, and looked away, trying not to cry. "You know, you're pretty great yourself."

"Pfffbbbth, girl, I'm fantastic," he joked.

She had reached down to take a bite of her noodles, and looked him right in the eye. "Yeah… you are." She held his sight line for a bit as she chewed and watched him melt. Part of her loved how discombobulated he looked at that exact moment, what she had done to him. Another part… it wouldn't even allow her to think about it.

The rest of the meal was excellent, and the two walked into the prom, like they didn't have a care in the world. They danced; fast songs, slow songs, they were on the dance floor. When _Wannabe_ played, the two sang it to each other as they danced. When the _What's Up_ remix played, Sarah danced closed to him, danced for him, knowing he would never abuse it. When the last song of the night, _How Do I Live_, played, he held her tight, and as the song ended, her hand guided his lips to hers. It was a kiss, of what could have been. They both knew they couldn't surrender to it, but for a moment they let themselves dream.

There was no sorrow, just smiles as they left. They stopped and changed, then Chuck picked up his car and took them for a drive. He took them to the beach, and they watched the sunrise; her on the ground, between his legs, her back pressed to his chest, a blanket around them, and his hands wrapped around her stomach. His lips were near her ear, and if she turned, she had direct access to them. She took advantage of that fact for little kisses throughout the morning. As the sun rose, they watched it together.

She looked back at him. "Tonight was wonderful, and if it wasn't for you, I would not have had it."

"My pleasure," he said. "And don't worry, I remember our rule." She smiled at him. She had been building the courage to say that, perhaps, they ought to try… but again, she wasn't worth fighting for. She had left him, instead of staying, and he was too scared to get hurt.

He inhaled the scent of her hair, hoping that by leaving the ball in her court, she would give them a chance, but he knew. Deep down, he knew. He wasn't good enough for her. Not for what she needed. He hoped one day he could be, but he doubted it.

}o{

They were co-Valedictorians, and neither of them were crazy about making a speech. So they went up, thanked their teachers, and wished their classmates best of luck in their future endeavors. The crowd loved the brevity of it.

Sarah's birthday came, and she told Chuck she wanted him to take her to _The Phantom Menace_. She wanted to experience seeing him see it. When Obi-wan cut Darth Maul in half, and Chuck leaped up, yelling, she found herself smiling and experiencing pure joy.

A few months later found them at Stanford. On one of his first days, Chuck was sitting on a bench studying, when Sarah and a very attractive brunette walked up. "I see what you mean, the curls do add a certain something extra," the brunette said. Chuck looked up, surprised.

"Hey, Chuck," Sarah said, with a grin. "This is my roommate, Zondra."

"Hey, nice to meet you Zondra," Chuck said smiling. "Does anyone ever call you Z? You have that cool vibe around you that someone would call you Z."

"Only someone that wants to get hurt," Zondra replied.

"See," Chuck said to Sarah. "Cool vibe."

"Come on you, dork, go with us to lunch," Sarah said, grabbing some of his books. "You two can flirt later."

"I am not flirting," Chuck replied.

"Am I not good enough to flirt with?" Zondra asked.

"You're too far out of my league," Chuck replied, shrugging.

"Don't I know it," Zondra said with a wink. The three headed to lunch, just missing the frat guy playing Frisbee nearby.

}o{

Sarah had given Chuck his Care Bear comic earlier in the day. She sat on her bed, staring at her blank piece of paper. "So why aren't you two together?" Sarah looked up at Zondra. "I mean, is he bad in bed?"

Sarah began to laugh. "I have no idea," she said, honestly. "We've just been friends for what seems like forever."

"So if I hit that, it wouldn't upset you?" Zondra asked.

"Nope," Sarah replied.

"Bullshit," Zondra said, looking directly into Sarah's eyes. "There's something there."

"I love him," she said before she could stop herself. "He's everything to me, but I destroy every relationship I have. I've lost everyone, and I can't lose him."

"So if you're not together that way, you can't lose him?" Zondra asked. Sarah nodded. "You actually believe that?" Sarah nodded. "So, say he goes off and marries someone…"

"I'll be happy for him, but she has to know I'm going to be in his life." Zondra just stared at her. "You should date him."

"Sarah," Zondra began.

"He's funny, and kind, and thoughtful…"

"Sarah, I'm going into the… Okay, I'm not allowed to say," she said, looking away. "I'm going to be in one of the Alphabet Agencies."

"A spy?" Sarah asked. Zondra nodded. "Okay."

"In two years I go, and I'll have very little civilian contact for a while. That wouldn't be fair to him."

"Maybe it is, if he knows," Sarah said. She scooted closer to Zondra. "I mean you can handle me being close to him."

Zondra studied her. "So, when I rock his world, you're not gonna be upset?"

"No," Sarah lied, smiling the entire time. "Ask him out."

"I might, Sarah. I just might," Zondra said, grabbing her shower stuff. "I'm heading in, see you in a bit." With that, she left the room. Sarah pulled out the letter from two years ago.

_Dear Chuck,_

_How do I ask you to forgive me, when I can't even forgive myself? I didn't think you were enough after my Granny died. I didn't think I could handle living in this house, where her memories were everywhere. Today, I only think of the good times with her. I walked away from the one person who made me smile. I don't deserve you. I want to be with you, but I don't deserve you. I want you to know how I feel. I'm selfish, Chuck. Instead of giving you everything I have, I make sure I have you. Because while this hurts, the way we are, if I didn't have you, I don't know what I would do. I love you, Chuck. I always will._

She sighed, and took out her pen.

_Over the last two years, I've "been to prom" with you twice. The first one was to save your skinny cute ass, the second was you being a freaking hero out of some of your sci-fi books. I never thought I'd get that Chuck, and you gave it to me. I never thought that I'd want someone to make love to me after the prom, but I did. I never thought someone like you existed, and I have never hurt so bad, and fought myself so much as I do everyday around you. I can't hurt you. If I don't have you, I don't hurt you. But the day… the day you tell me you're hurting not being with me, I'm done, Chuck. I'm yours. I'm torn__:__ I'd give anything to never hear you say it, because it protects you__…__ but I'd give anything to hear you say it_,_ because I'm selfish. I love you, Chuck._

}o{

Chuck opened his eyes and there lay Sarah snuggled against him. "About time you woke up, I thought I was going to be late for class." Chuck grinned at her as she reached up on his desk and grabbed the cupcake.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Next time, Chuck gets a girlfriend? We're close to them being together, I promise. I'm gonna make it worth it.


	12. Ch 12, 19th Birthday

A/N: 2000, College. I apologize. I've written so many chapters in the past few days I forgot to post this one. A few "rough" ones to go. We're not making it to 28 without Charah. In fact it's happening in 23 (already written) While they are not with each other...there's hope, more than season 3, I think. I've pushed myself about as far as I can writing this one, but at the end of each chapter, they know they do have each other. Hang on, we'll get through it together.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"Come on in, Curls," Zondra said to Chuck.

"Sorry, Zondra, but I wasn't sure what time she was supposed to be back," Chuck replied, putting his bookbag down. He lay across Sarah's bed.

"Oh, she should have been here thirty minutes ago," Zondra said with a smile.

"Really?" Chuck asked, smiling. Inside he was dying, but she deserved happiness. Sarah had met Robert in one of her language classes. He was good looking, nice, and neither Zondra nor Chuck could find anything wrong with him. "How many times have they been 'studying'?" Chuck asked.

"Five or six times. I think they're working on the romance languages. I'm pretty sure her bra wasn't back together right when she got back last time," Zondra said. Chuck's eyes went wide. "She feels bad not telling you, but she's not sure what you can handle."

"Zondra, she's my best friend. Whatever she wants to tell me is what I'll listen to," Chuck said, shrugging. "I'm just glad she's happy."

Zondra studied him. "You know, I think for the next two years, I'm gonna study you."

"Yeah, why? Is it my ass? Sarah says I have a nice ass," Chuck retorted, grinning at her.

She got up and crossed to the fridge, getting herself an OJ, and tossing him one. "I mean it's a'ight." Chuck snorted. "No, I want to see if you really believe you mean what you say about her."

"Z, I love her, she's everything to me. But we both know we could lose everything, and for what? Great sex?"

"One, you don't get to call me Z," Zondra began.

"Who's gonna stop me?" Chuck asked her. She put down her OJ and sauntered over to the bed, and crawled on top of him, catching him by surprise. She grabbed his hair and kissed him. Pulling back, she looked him in the eye.

"So that's how, kiss me until I forget your name?"

"Nah… kiss you until you only think about my _full_ name," she replied. Chuck swallowed and she laughed. "Number two."

"What was number one? I forgot again…" he asked, grinning.

"See, this is how you stay in trouble. You think you're just cute enough I won't hurt you… that, or you'd like to see _how_ I'd hurt you," she said, mock pondering. Chuck turned three shades of red. "That's the Chuck Bartowski I know." She gave him a peck on the lips and held his gaze. "How do you know it would be great sex? From what she says, neither of you have ever tried anything."

"Yeah, well, Sarah and her mom," Chuck began.

"Yeah she told me about that. That's not right how things went down between them, but I get it," Zondra said, pushing stray curls off his face.

"And as for me, well… long story," he began.

"Oh, wait, that idiot QB and his girlfriend?" Zondra asked, remembering another Sarah story.

"Yup, said no one would ever want to be with me. I just didn't bother last year," Chuck replied with a shrug and a bit of a pout.

"What? You think I'm gonna do it with you as a mercy thing?" she asked with a grin.

"I have never suggested we should have sex," Chuck said, smiling.

"You also have never said we shouldn't," Zondra said, running a finger down from his ear to his chest.

"Z are you telling me you want me?" He was smirking at her.

"I swear you just don't learn," she said, attacking his mouth. Neither of them heard the door open.

"Really, on _my_ bed?" Sarah asked. "Do I need to go outside and let anyone fix any clothes?"

"Why? You've seen it all before, right?" Zondra asked, shrugging and standing up.

"Are you two even dating?"

"Some of us don't have time to study multiple romance languages with our tongues," Chuck retorted, making Sarah grin. "Also, for the record, Sarah has not seen it all."

"Yeah, I have," Sarah said putting down her book bag, and then plopping on her bed, her head on Chuck's shoulder.

"Really?"

"Mmmhmm," Sarah hummed.

"I mean, we _are_ married," Chuck muttered. Sarah laughed, and Zondra gave him a look. "We were eight."

"Great, I was about to get it on with a married man," Zondra said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait, wha-?" Chuck asked, making both women laugh. Chuck shook his head. "Hey, there's a movie on tonight-"

"Baby," Sarah said, making him roll his eyes at the Spice Girls reference. "I'm going out with Robert tonight, on a real date, and…" She looked down at her hands, and Chuck pulled her into a hug. "Thanks for understanding."

Chuck pulled away and smiled at her. "Well, I guess I better go, so you can get ready and ah… you know… get ready… uh, you need me to get anything at the convenience store for you?" Zondra reached into her drawer, and tossed Sarah a condom. Chuck gave her a look.

"You're right," Zondra said, and grabbed two more.

"Well on that note," Chuck said, standing, and looking down at her. "I hope you have a wonderful time," he said, a sincere smile on his face. "He better treat you right."

"What are you gonna do if he doesn't?" Sarah asked with a smirk.

"Get Zondra to kick his ass," Chuck said straight faced.

"Hey, Curls, you want me to go to the movie with you?"

"It's Phantom Menace, again, at the dollar theater," Chuck replied.

"You gotta buy me popcorn, and not one of those big ones so our hands can touch or something, but my own," Zondra replied.

"Here," Sarah said, handing him a condom. She shrugged and grinned. "Maybe you'll get lucky." Chuck made the mistake of turning toward Zondra, who hit him with an eyebrow bounce. Chuck fled, to the laughter of both women.

}o{

Zondra bumped her shoulder against Chuck. "You're thinking about them doing it, aren't you?"

"Well, I _wasn't_!" Chuck replied. They had seen the movie, and were walking back together. Chuck was wondering if he should tell her how he really felt, but that wasn't fair. Besides, he and Zondra were… well, they were something, weren't they? "I'm not being fair to you," he said softly.

Zondra snorted. "Chuck, in two years I'm going to join some alphabet agency, and will have little to no civilian contact. Let me be real clear: I'm _not_ falling in love with you. I'm _not_ over here hoping you make an honest woman out of me. What I _am_ doing is enjoying college. What I _don't_ get is why aren't you with her?"

"I'm not enough for her," Chuck said, shrugging.

"Has she ever actually said that?" Zondra asked.

"Well, she said something along the lines of what we have is too important to screw up for hormones," Chuck said.

"I see," Zondra said, nodding. "So, she's out getting her hormones back in line."

"Really?" he asked.

She continued ahead. "While you have this fine ass woman with you that could teach you a few things, and you do nothing," she said, grabbing his ass.

He spun, trapping her against the wall. "Z, is this what you want?"

"I swear to God, if you call me her name during, I'll cut it off."

"I have no idea how to respond to that," Chuck admitted.

She took his hand, pulling him along. "Come on, I bet I can get you to respond." Chuck needed no more coaxing. He went with her to her room. She was kissing him as she opened the door.

"Uh, guys," Sarah began, and they both stopped. "Sorry," she said, wincing

"What'd he do?" Chuck asked, moving away from Zondra, and toward Sarah.

"Chuck," Sarah began.

"Come on, Sarah, we both know what was supposed to happen tonight," Zondra said, defending Chuck.

"It did," Sarah replied. Chuck and Sarah shared a look.

"Okay, do I go, or are you two gonna walk the campus and talk?" Zondra asked.

Sarah looked at Chuck. "Do you mind going for a walk?"

"Absolutely," he said, standing and offering his hand. Sarah gave him a head nod toward Zondra. "Oh, right."

"'Oh right'?" Zondra said, grinning with an eyebrow raised. "You owe me."

Chuck swallowed, and she kissed him. "You know you scare me a little, right?" Chuck asked the brunette. She shoved him, and he and Sarah walked out onto campus.

"I'm glad you found her," Sarah said honestly. "She's amazing, and deserves someone like you."

"Yeah, I'm kinda fond of her," Chuck admitted. "But, what about you and Robert?" Sarah shrugged, and Chuck led her to a building, where there were lampposts at the top of the stairs. The walkways to the lampposts were wide enough to walk under, and sit underneath, while looking out over the city.

"Robert is great, he's a gentleman, sweet, kind…" she trailed off.

"Was it that bad?" Chuck asked.

"God, it was awful," Sarah replied, shaking her head. "Don't laugh."

"I won't. Karma," Chuck admitted. "Uh… I'm not sure to ask my next question."

"It didn't last 30 seconds," she said, blowing out a frustrated huff.

Chuck pressed his lips together and looked away. "I see."

"I mean, he's a great boyfriend," Sarah continued.

"Maybe he needs some… guidance," Chuck suggested.

"Would you be embarrassed?" Sarah asked. Chuck looked over at her, eyes wide. "NO, not you to say anything to him, but like if Zondra gave you a book, or if we were dating and I-"

Chuck laid his hand on hers, calming her. "Sarah, whoever I was with, I would want them to enjoy it. I'd want them to tell me what they want, be brave enough to share. That's what love is."

"I don't love him," Sarah said, shaking her head.

"You might," Chuck replied.

"Chuck… no, not with him." He was silent for a minute. "Do you think less of me?"

"What?" He asked, and looked over at her, realizing what his quietness might mean in her mind. "No, I'm thinking if you know you don't have those feelings for him, or you won't, then find someone insanely attractive and do it with them."

"Like Zondra?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds it might incriminate me," he replied.

"Will… will you just sit here with me awhile?" she asked. He nodded, held out his arm, and she molded against him. After a while, she said she should get back. He walked her to her room, and he had gotten no more than a few steps away when a hand grabbed his arm.

He turned, and there stood Zondra in her night clothes. He swallowed, and she grinned. "Not tonight, Curls. Get your ass in there and get in bed with her." He started to say something, and she gave him a look. "You've been her friend forever. I'm not stupid, Chuck. She needs you."

"You're the best," he said, planting a kiss on the side of her forehead as he walked back in to hold Sarah.

"Why the hell aren't you two together?" she muttered to herself.

}o{

It was a few days later when Sarah walked into his dorm room. "Hey, I could of have been naked in here," he said, a smile on his face that fell when he saw the look on hers. "You okay?"

"Here," she said, thrusting a book into his chest. "I need you to study that the way you do everything else, do you understand me?"

"Okkkkay," Chuck replied. "Are you okay?" He glanced at the title and his eyes went wide. "Robert?"

She looked away twisting her lips. "We went back to his place this afternoon." Chuck really didn't want to hear this… well, just because, but also, he was finding it all a bit funny. She turned back to him feeling him laugh, and she rolled her own eyes as she tried to hold back the laughter. "Maybe it's me," she began, and he lost it, and so did she. She put her hand on his shoulder to support herself, laughing. "I am the most awful girlfriend in the world, talking about him like this."

Chuck spun in his chair and opened the book, glanced at it, and then back to her. "Really?" She smacked him on the shoulder and then looked at the book.

"Listen, this," she said, stabbing at a section. "Memorize it," Sarah said. Chuck gave her a look. "Fine, perhaps ask your partner, but yes, I like that."

"Every time I think we have found the TMI line in this relationship, you just march right on past it," Chuck replied, chuckling.

"You're the one that helped me pick out the bra at the store," she whispered into his ear, making him blush.

He turned to her, his lips inches from hers. "You told me we were staying there until you did," he protested.

"Whatever you have to tell yourself," she said with a wink. He went back to the book, flipping through pages and stopped. "Wow… um… okay. Yeah, that's…" she turned her head to the side. "That does look like fun."

"Jesus," he muttered, and his door opened, they both spun around, hiding the book, and there was Zondra. "Hey, Zondra."

Zondra studied the two for a second. "Let me see it," she said.

"See what?" Sarah asked. Zondra moved Chuck out of the way and grabbed the book. She flipped through it and, shook her head.

She pulled Sarah in for a hug. "I'm so sorry," she said, holding Sarah. With her open hand she shoved the book into Chuck's chest. He pulled it back and looked down as to what it was open to. He looked at it, and then back to Zondra, stunned. Zondra was smirking at him. "Learn it," she mouthed. Chuck went completely red. It was the same page Sarah had referenced when she walked in.

}o{

"Robert wants to leave," Sarah told Chuck and Zondra a few days later, when they were at a party.

"Best wishes," Chuck said, lifting a cup to her.

"I hate you," she said as she hugged him, and then Zondra. "You know, for all you know he might be a stud compared to you." With that Sarah walked away.

"Just so I know exactly what I'm getting into, you have no roommate, correct?" Zondra asked.

"Correct," Chuck answered.

"And you have those condoms I gave you?"

"Uhhuh," he choked out.

"Let's go prove her wrong."

"Hey yo!"

}o{

The next morning Chuck heard the key in the lock. Only one person had a key to his dorm room, he had a copy made for her. He looked over at Zondra and knew this was going to be interesting. "Chuck, Zondra's not in her… oh," Sarah said, busting in.

"For the record, I'm pretty sure he's not worse," Zondra said, never opening an eye.

"Thanks for the book," Chuck said to her. Sarah smacked him on the arm, moving to sit on the empty bed across from them. "What are you doing?"

"I told you all about mine, so spill," she said. Chuck went beet red.

}o{

"He's cute," Zondra said at a party in the spring.

"Not my type," Chuck replied. Sarah snorted. The two had gone home for Christmas, and met Devon, Ellie's new boyfriend. Both were shocked when Robert showed up at Sarah's house, wanting to meet her family. Sarah tried to gently explain they weren't that serious, and then broke up with him when he didn't get the picture.

"His name is Sebastien," Zondra continued.

"You sure know a lot about him… you want to ask him out?" Chuck asked.

"Nah, I put too much effort into training you," Zondra replied. Sarah nearly spit out her drink.

"You'd think I'd be offended by that, but it proves what a studious learner I am, and how many times I asked for special instruction," Chuck retorted.

"Screw it, let me go see if Sebastien knows to keep his mouth shut while he stands there looking pretty," Zondra said, walking away.

"You got a hell of a wingman," Chuck said to Sarah, grinning.

"Two of them," Sarah replied. "Chuck, what are you doing with her?"

"You don't like Zondra?" Chuck asked, confused.

"You know it won't end with what you want," Sarah said, looking him in the eye.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean, I'm out having fun, being young, enjoying myself," Sarah said.

"So am I," Chuck admitted. "While I am a romantic and want all that, one day, right now… right now I'm at Stanford, worried about getting a degree and getting my company going, and making sure my best friend doesn't get VD from some dude name Sebastien."

She laughed. "Listen, I've only been with Robert, and if I do anything with Sebastien I'd probably make him wear two condoms."

Chuck looked back over at him. "He _is_ pretty."

Sarah took a drink and giggled. "Yeah, he is."

}o{

"Shit," Zondra swore, waking up Chuck, after answering his phone.

"Wha?" Chuck asked.

"She wants both of us, asap," Zondra said. Chuck's eyes snapped open. They both dressed in seconds and were heading over the few dorm buildings to Sarah and Zondra's. Zondra opened the door ready to kick someone's ass. Sarah looked okay, but furious. Chuck went to her, pulling her into a hug. She was shaking with rage.

"Did he… did he…" Chuck began.

"What? OH! No!" Sarah replied. "No Chuck, nothing like that." Chuck felt Zondra lay a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. "He wanted me to make him a sandwich because he had 'given me what I needed.'"

"Jesus," Chuck muttered. Sarah said something, but he couldn't hear. "What?"

"I mean, it _was_ good," she said, and Chuck had to turn away, laughing. "What?"

"Thank God," Zondra said. "I'm guessing you need your cuddle machine?" Sarah looked away and Zondra shook her head. "Go on, cuddle her, just no comparing you to Sebastien."

"He hasn't read the book Sarah gave me," Chuck replied, getting in bed.

"He wrote his own book," Sarah retorted. Chuck started to get out of Sarah's bed and head to Zondra's, when Sarah wrapped her arms around him, pulling him back in. "Why can't I find the good ones?"

"You're holding one right now," Zondra said, rolling over, her back to them. Chuck kept his eyes shut as he felt Sarah tense beside him. She kissed his cheek.

"She's right, you know." Chuck took a long time to fall asleep from that one.

}o{

"So let me get this right: You two aren't seeing anyone else while apart this summer, but you know you're breaking up next summer?" Ellie asked.

"She's following her career," Chuck said shrugging. "Who knows, maybe she'll be in to me, and come find me in a few years."

"He wishes," Sarah said, making Ellie and Devon laugh. "She's amazing, and I'm just glad she's my roommate next year. I don't know what I'll do after she leaves."

"Why don't you move in with Chuck?" Devon asked.

"That's a terrible idea," Chuck said. Sarah turned to him, giving him a look. "She snores." Sarah rolled her eyes at that one.

}o{

She pulled up the pad to write on.

_I'm glad you found Zondra, __and__ I hate that you found Zondra. You two are so good together, and God I wish it was me. I just worry about you when she leaves. I worry what I might do, what I might say, what I might try. I worry in a moment of loneliness you'll tell me you need me_,_ and I'll give in. I want you to want me Chuck, __not be just__ someone to fill a void. This is not getting any easier. I love you._

}o{

They began their second semester, and things continued like they had. A Care Bear comic was given to him a few days before his birthday. On the day of his birthday, he awoke to see Sarah sitting on his other bed, holding a cupcake, grinning.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Did we survive? I hated writing it, but it was easier than I thought. What is it about me and letters, huh? We can see the light, it's not a train, I promise.


	13. Ch 13, 20th Birthday

A/N: 2000-2001. Okay, this one is gonna hurt. A LOT. (And you know it's bad when I say that). Just chant to yourself, Birthday 23 is gonna make it worthwhile. Birthday 23 is gonna make it worthwhile (BTW, there's so much in 23 that I had to make that birthday 2 parts and I think it will make all of you smile..and hopefully the rest of it.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

Chuck felt her stretch against him, and grinned. "You okay over there?"

"Where the hell did you learn that?" Zondra asked, trying to get her wits back about herself.

"I was told to read up, remember?" Chuck replied, snickering. Zondra patted him on the chest.

"You get an A for that one, lover boy," she nearly purred. They were quiet for a few moments. "Worried about her?"

"Who?" Chuck asked.

"Sarah." Zondra said, propping herself up on her elbow so she could look at him. He looked a little guilty. "Hey, Chuck, I know you… you can't help it. Besides, I knew what I was getting into."

"I'm not worried, but some of the guys she's been seeing lately… yeesh."

"She's not sleeping with them, just going out," Zondra pointed out.

"I mean if she is or she isn't… she's just picking some interesting characters right now."

"Justin seems like a good guy," Zondra said, shrugging. Chuck didn't look convinced. "I think maybe the reason you think they're all bad, is because they aren't you." He turned to her, eyes wide, and she just looked at him. "Come on, Chuck, we both know how you feel."

"Can we talk about anything _other_ than Sarah?" Chuck asked. "It's not really fair to either of us right now."

"Okay," she said. She reached over him and dug through her bag, pulling out some papers. "These are for me to sign, and once I do…"

"Ooo, a secret agent," Chuck said with a grin. "Wait, you haven't signed?"

"Been thinking about it," she admitted. "Maybe there's other things I could do, you know, maybe… maybe…" she trailed off.

"Zondra?" he said, sitting up, confused.

She slapped the papers against his sheet covered leg. "Damn it," she muttered. She looked at him and gave him a sad smile. She took his face in her hands and kissed him. "I'm gonna tell you something, but I need you to promise me you won't break up with me."

"Uh… it depends. If you tell me you slept with half the football team…" he widened his eyes.

"No, nothing like that," Zondra said.

"Okay."

"See, when this started, it was fun. It was a good time with a good guy and we knew that we were together but nothing serious, right?"

"Yeah," Chuck answered.

"I told you I wasn't going to go falling in love with you," she continued.

"Z," Chuck began.

"Shhh," she said, putting her finger over his lips. "There's one person in the world that could stop me from signing those papers. But he's gotta ask me not to. He's gotta want me not to, because he wants me as bad as I want him." Tears were falling down Chuck's face.

"Don't cry, Curls." She wiped the tears from his face. "I knew what I was getting into. I just didn't know how much you'd get into me." She paused. "God, that sounded dirty." Chuck burst out laughing, and she did too. "Just… if you change your mind. If you want to be with me-"

"I do want to be with you," Chuck insisted.

"Curls, I want it to be just the two of us," Zondra told him. "I can take you two being friends, but I can't spend the rest of my life with the three of us in this bed." She paused. "Well, not this bed."

"I get it," Chuck said.

"Don't break up with me," she said in a small voice. "At least not over this. If it's for her-"

"There is no me and her," he insisted.

"But you want there to be so much that there can't be a you and I." Chuck couldn't answer, and was looking at his hands in his lap. She slowly turned his face toward her. "I'm a big girl, tell me the truth."

"I want there to be a you and I," Chuck admitted.

"I know you do, and that's why I love you, that you're trying so hard to do the right thing."

"What am I supposed to do Zondra?"

"I have no idea, Chuck. I just hope you figure it out before I leave."

"And if I do?"

"Just ask me to stay. I'll say yes," Zondra said. Chuck nodded, and she wrapped her arms around him. "It's okay, I know you can't." They both sat there in silence, and Chuck fell asleep in her arms.

}o{

Fall continued, and Christmas came. Chuck and Sarah were at Chuck's parents' house when she found him outside, sitting all alone. "You okay?" Sarah asked. Chuck shook his head. "Hey, talk to me."

"She loves me," he said, sighing.

"That's great," she said, not meaning it. "Chuck, you two are wonderful together. Does that mean she's-"

"I'm not in love with her," he finished. She was silent. "Sarah, what do I do?"

"What does she want to do?"

"She wants me to keep seeing her until she leaves," Chuck said, shrugging. "She knows how I feel… or rather, how I don't feel."

"If she's making that decision and you two are happy… you _are_ happy, right?"

"I mean, I'm not unhappy," Chuck replied. "We get along great, but… IT is not there, not for me. I want to, Sarah, I really do."

She came over, and sat in his lap in the chair wrapping her arms around him. "I know buddy, I know." She sat there quietly. "What do you want to do?"

"Make a pillow fort and color," Chuck replied, shrugging. "How's Justin?"

She groaned. "Mother and Father really wanted to meet me," she said in her best Justin accent.

"You dumped him, didn't you?" It was more statement than question.

"I told him we were going different places in life," Sarah admitted.

"You could have had a good life with him, money-wise," he said, grinning. She swatted him.

"I don't love him, and I never would have," Sarah said.

"Do you want to?" Chuck asked. She pulled away a bit to get a better look at him. "Is that the type of guy you'd want to love?"

"No," she grumbled.

"Then why?"

She sighed. "If I don't love him, it won't hurt so bad when he figures out how screwed up I am." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Is this about the guys I've been seeing? I'm not sleeping with them… well, I did with Justin."

"Was it a proper coitus attempt?"

She snorted. "It was fine," she said, shrugging. "I just wanted to see if maybe… maybe I'm dating guys that are too good, you know?"

"Sarah, you deserve love."

"Do I?" Sarah asked. Chuck sighed. "I know, I drive you looney, but do I really?"

"Of course you do, and you know how I know?" She peered down at him. "Because I know you. The one you try to hide in there. The scared little girl who doesn't want to be left. Maybe if you let others see what you've let me see for all these years, you'd find him in a heartbeat."

"Maybe no one else deserves to see what you see," she said softly, shrugging. "Maybe you shouldn't have seen it."

"Sarah."

"Wait, you asked me if he's the type of guy I want to love. Is Zondra the type of girl you'd like to love?"

Chuck sat there quietly for a moment. "She loves me for me." He sighed, and Sarah squeezed him hard. "She gets me, she funny, and gorgeous." Sarah gave him a smirk. "Intelligent, and just… she's just everything you'd think I'd want."

"But she doesn't have IT," Sarah added, reminding him of what he said earlier. Chuck nodded. "So you want to love her, or you think you should."

"I think I should… she deserves to be loved."

"Maybe she's not the one for you."

"Maybe _I_ don't deserve to love," Chuck said softly. Sarah looked at him, tears in her eyes, but he never saw it because he was looking at the ground. "Maybe I don't get my happy ending."

"Hey, presents, you two," Ellie said. Both jumped up, neither looking at the other, and going inside, leaving Ellie alone. "All I want for Christmas is for those two to get their act together, their act together, yes their act together," she sang softly to herself as she went inside.

}o{

It was the end of January, and all three of them were at the same bar. Sarah was sitting at the bar talking to some guy, and Zondra had her hand against the wall talking to Chuck. Chuck was leaning against the wall. Suddenly he bolted past Zondra, and he reached the bar to knock Sarah's drink out of her hand before she could drink it.

"What the hell," Sarah said, in shock at Chuck. Chuck was staring at her "date". "Chuck, what are you doing?"

"Probably saving you from getting raped," a woman said, in the crowd that had gathered. Sarah turned to her. "He did the same thing to my roommate. When she turned around, he roofied her drink."

"I'm sorry I knocked it out of your hand, because we could have had it tested," Chuck said.

"Still got some of it," the bartender said, holding up the glass and shaking it. The "date" tried to run away, but Zondra tackled him, pinning him to the ground.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked Sarah's date. "Know this guy, Blondie?"

"No, he just started talking to me at the bar," she said, starting to shake.

"Chuck, get your coat, wrap her up, and keep her in your sight all night, okay?"

"Okay. What are you doing?" Chuck asked. The bouncer from the bar came over and took over watching the perp.

"I'm gonna stay here, you know since I've kinda been doing stuff like this… getting ready for my new job."

"Oh, right," Chuck said nodding. "All night?" he asked. Zondra gave him a smile, and nodded. "Okay so, see you in the morning?"

Zondra shrugged. "I think right now you need to take care of her. Take her to your place." Chuck nodded. She pulled him in for a hug, and then kissed his cheek. "Seriously, take care of each other." She pulled away and looked over at Sarah.

"You are going to be okay," Zondra told her. "He's got you."

"Thanks, Zondra," Sarah said, giving her a hug. Chuck and Sarah left the bar as Zondra stood there. A few minutes later, the police came in. "This guy tried to roofie my friend, there's still some of her drink over there."

"Where's the victim?" the cop asked.

Zondra pulled out her CIA badge. "She was in shock, so I sent her home. I'll help you with all the paperwork." The policeman nodded. "If you'll excuse me, I need to make a call."

She stepped away, and placed the call at the bar. "Sir, I know it's late, but there's been a situation, and I think it's time I come in." She listened for a moment. "I understand sir. Once I make this decision, I can't quit for a minimum of three years." She listened again. "No, Sir," she glanced at the door Chuck and Sarah had walked out of. "You ever heard that Bonnie Rait song, _Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough_? In my case, it wasn't. Thank you, sir."

}o{

Sarah woke up, gasping. "CHUCK!" she screamed, and he was there, holding her. She laid against him. "Oh, God, he was going to rape me."

"He didn't," Chuck said, holding her as close as he could. "I got you."

"Sorry," she said, pulling away, but Chuck held her gently and looked into her eyes.

"I'm here, however you need. If that means you stay here while I hold you, or better yet we stay at your place so Zondra can kick anyone's ass that tries anything…" She chuckled. "I'm here."

"Thanks," she said, and looked up, seeing the sun through the window. "Let's head over to my place and talk to Zondra." Chuck nodded, went to the bathroom to change, and when he came back they headed to the dorm. When they opened the door, they saw all of Zondra's things were gone.

"What the… where'd she go?" Sarah asked, befuddled.

"She was telling us goodbye," Chuck said softly, it all dawning on him. Sarah turned to him. "She was telling us goodbye."

}o{

Chuck knew Zondra's codes, and got into the system at Stanford to learn she had actually graduated in December, and had stayed on as a grad student. Even though she had left past the withdrawl date, she had been given a special exception to withdraw. While Chuck didn't love her, he missed her. Sarah stayed close to him for a few days; whether it was her experience, or what Chuck was going through, or both, he wasn't sure.

She was mad at herself for not catching what the guy had been trying to do, especially since her father was a con artist. Chuck wasn't ready to go back to the dating scene, and she didn't trust men at that moment. Neither were sure what to do, so they hung out with each other, and didn't worry about anything else.

The year ended, Sarah had her birthday, and the two started a job at Stephen's company. Sarah told Stephen her plan for Chuck and herself, and Stephen just smiled, made some notes, and welcomed them to the company.

They interned all summer, Sarah putting away the money she earned. Chuck started upgrading his own personal equipment. The year began the same as the last one ended, the two of them together, not worrying about anyone else. On the weekends they went dancing together, they went to parties together. If one was going to an event, the other joined them as their plus one.

Chuck woke up the morning of his birthday, snuggled with Sarah on his bed. She had given him his Care Bear comic the night before, and he knew he had gone to bed alone. She got up, walked over to his desk, and picked up his cupcake.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Chuck."

"I hope you never have to find out," he replied. She kissed him on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Short, I know, but I couldn't take much more. It got the job done. We're getting closer. Also, I've been a part of college campuses for over half my life. I recommend all women at parties keep their hands over their glass when they look away if they aren't there with a friend. I can't legally say all I have heard, but I sometimes have nightmares about what I have heard. I'm out of town, so it may be Monday or later before I get the next one up. But the good news is We didn't leave them in a bad place with someone else. Right?


	14. Ch 14, 21st Birthday

A/N: 2001-2002. 90% Junior year of college 10% Senior.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"Chuck," Sarah said, causing him to pull his head up from a book. "I'd like you to meet a classmate, Bryce."

"Hey, Bryce," Chuck said, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you," Bryce replied. He looked from Sarah to Chuck. "I can't," he began.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "He wants out of the frat he's in, but he has nowhere to stay on campus. There's a couple of spots in the Freshman dorm." Chuck raised his eyebrows.

"Dude," Chuck said to Bryce.

"Right?" Bryce replied. Sarah looked from one to the other, and chuckled. "What?"

"Nothing," Sarah said, grinning.

"Man, I can't ask you, you and your girl have a perfect secluded spot," Bryce began.

"I've told you Bryce, we're just friends," Sarah explained, again.

"Fine, but tell me she doesn't stay over?"

"We have been known to watch late-night movies, and fall asleep," Chuck admitted.

"Look, I won't be there _every_ night," he said, grinning. "I have my own girlfriend."

Chuck looked at Sarah. "You're okay with this?"

"Whipped by the fake girlfriend?" Bryce asked with a smirk.

"First, she's not, but second, if she was, would you blame me?" Chuck retorted. Sarah backhanded him, but laughed.

"Fine, I've decided Bryce can move in with you, Chuck," she told them, smirking.

}o{

The semester continued, and Chuck and Bryce became friends. Bryce continued to believe that Chuck and Sarah were dating on the down low, and Chuck and Sarah continued to roll their eyes at him. Chuck and Sarah became more serious about their careers, and when Bryce was around, he heard them talking and joined in. Soon, the three were talking about their post college plans together.

Chuck invited Bryce to Thanksgiving, and he accepted. Bryce was welcomed at the Bartowski home, and soon found himself talking to Stephen. Stephen offered him the same type of intern spot in the company as he had Chuck and Sarah, and Bryce jumped at the opportunity.

Christmas came and went, and the new year began. As Valentine's Day approached, Chuck and Sarah were bemoaning how no one seem to be interested in them. "It's because everyone thinks you two are together," Bryce explained, again. "Hell, I do, and I've never seen you guys kiss, or anything."

"People are stupid," Sarah muttered. She looked over at Chuck. "Let's go to the party together, then."

"Why even go? We'll just stay here and watch movies."

"That is totally lame, and you know it."

That's how Chuck and Sarah found themselves at a party, cups full of alcohol, and irritated.

"She should be grinding against you, not that guy," Sarah said, taking a drink.

"And what about that guy… wait. Do you like having your ear nibbled like that?"

"Like that? Hell no, he's slobbering, and the drool is probably giving her swimmer's ear. Now a nice nibble, kissing down the neck…" She saw the amused look on his face. "Maybe I should stop."

"I'm taking it that you'd rather whoever is kissing down your neck should continue?"

"If it's the right guy," she said. "Maybe we should."

"Should what?" Chuck asked.

"Be together," Sarah answered, going for her drink, but finding it missing. "What are you doing?"

"You are clearly drunk," Chuck told her. She tickled his ribs, and had her drink back in no time. "I should cut you off."

"Baby, you've cut me off our whole life," she said, laughing at herself.

"Jesus, that was terrible," Chuck muttered. Sarah leaned against him, her eyes slightly glazed, smiling. Chuck couldn't help himself. "Hi," he said, grinning, and then kissed the tip of her nose.

"Hey yourself, cutie," she replied.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah," Sarah replied. "You look good enough to kiss every day."

"Must make your life really hard," Chuck retorted.

"I'm thinking about it right now, you know… kissing you," she said. She put her finger on his lips. "There." She trailed her finger down his chin to his neck. "There, for sure." She trailed it down his chest. "And if you're good…"

"Okay, you have had _way_ too much," Chuck said, trying to move away, but realizing she was holding on with a grip that belied that she was that drunk.

"I'm not sloppy drunk, Chuck. I might have had enough to say things I normally wouldn't, but I know what I'm doing."

"No, you don't, because you always tell me we can't," Chuck reminded her.

"What about if we have another prom night?" she asked. "Just one night, and see. Discuss it tomorrow?"

"Sarah… what if it ruins everything?"

"You think one night of great sex will ruin everything?"

"See, I told Zondra it would be great sex, but she told me she didn't think it would be," Chuck muttered, and then realized what he had just said.

Sarah blinked a few times. "Screw it," she said, and kissed him. He tasted like she remembered from all those years ago. She pressed herself against him, and he moaned into her mouth. "Let's go," she said, pulling away.

They walked quickly back to his dorm, and as he opened the door, she hopped on his back. "Uh, I don't think it works that way," Chuck said. "But it's been a minute."

They got the door shut, and she led him to his bed, kissing him while working on his belt buckle. She got his shirt off, and then whipped off hers.

"Sarah, are you sure?" She kissed him, and decided that was answer enough. Her clothes went flying and she found herself, naked, under him, and he paused again. "Are you sure?" She reached up to kiss him, and the door opened.

"HOLY SHIT!" Bryce yelled, quickly shutting the door. They both moved as one quickly getting dressed. Chuck opened the door and Bryce was standing there confused. "Dude, a sock, something… I am _so_ sorry."

"Naw, it's good man. We had a bit too much to drink and…"

"We nearly made a mistake," Sarah said, and Chuck felt his heart plummet. "Do you mind if I stay? Clothes will be on."

"Yeah, sure," Bryce said.

Chuck soon found himself cuddled against Sarah, but never as far away as he did in that moment.

}o{

"Hey, get breakfast with me," she said softly the next morning as he was waking up. He nodded, got dressed, and they left campus and went to an out of the way diner. After they ordered and were alone, she reached over with her hands outstretched. He put his hands in hers. "I gotta tell you, seeing that cute ass naked is a memory I'll never forget." Chuck couldn't help himself and started laughing.

"Chuck, you gotta know how much I care about you, how much you mean to me. You were right last night, if we had…"

"Had sex?" Chuck offered.

"Made love," she corrected. "What happens to us if I screw it up?"

"Uh, I have every shot of screwing it up as well," Chuck retorted.

"No, you don't," she said, shaking her head. "You're too good." She squeezed his hands. "If I lost you… Chuck, I can't do this without you."

"What is 'this'?" Chuck asked, genuinely confused.

"Life," she said softly. She saw the concern on his face. "Look, I'm not saying suicide or anything like that, don't get that look." He chuckled at her. "I just… you're my rock, Chuck. I can't lose you. I just think it's a bad idea if we tried anything, regardless of how amazing the sex would be."

"So amazing," Chuck added.

"Like, we would be what others wished they could be like," Sarah continued.

"People would be jealous."

"So jealous," she said with a big grin on her face. "Forgive me?"

"For wanting to have some of this?" he asked, removing a hand from hers and gesturing toward his body.

"It really was a moment of weakness." He narrowed his eyes, returning the hand to hers as she laughed out loud. "Forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive," Chuck replied. "I'm here, always." She squeezed his hands, but it felt like both had their hearts squeezed until they exploded.

}o{

The semester marched on. May came, and they headed back home. The morning of Sarah's birthday, Chuck found himself lying on his bed, bouncing a tennis ball off the wall. "Are you there?" Ellie asked, leaning against the doorway.

"What do you mean 'are you there'? I'm right here," Chuck told her. Ellie had an amused look on her face. "Ellie, can you just say it, whatever it is?"

"Are you finally at the place you're ready to admit it?" Ellie asked. Chuck caught the ball and turned to look at her. "That you love her?"

"Yeah," Chuck said, nodding. "Yeah, and on Valentine's Day, we both got a little drunk and very naked and…"

"Oh," Ellie said, her eyes wide. "Do you regret it?"

"Bryce walked in before… IT happened, and we didn't," Chuck said. "We… had breakfast the next morning and she said again that she needed me as a friend and we couldn't screw this up over great sex."

"I'm not sure I needed the last part," Ellie muttered. "And what did you do?" Chuck started to answer, but she made a noise, stopping him. "That was a rhetorical question, because I know. You didn't tell her how you felt. You listened to her, respected her wishes, but the thing is, Chuck, if she had all the knowledge about how you felt about her, I don't think her wishes would be what they are."

"I should tell her how I feel, and what I want," Chuck said softly. The door slammed, and Ellie stepped out to see who had come in.

"Now's your chance," she said, and left his room

"Chuck!" Sarah said, bursting in.

"Sarah, I've got to tell you something, really important," Chuck began.

"Your Dad got me a study-abroad opportunity, and not only that, my adviser has rearranged my classes, so I can go my last semester at Stanford!" Sarah told him, nearly bouncing.

"That's amazing," Chuck told her.

"But, I'm not going if it's not alright with you," she told him.

"Wait, Sarah… you have to go," Chuck insisted.

"I mean it's perfect, right?" Chuck nodded. "And the best thing is, I'm not seeing anyone, so I don't get involved this semester so that I don't have to do some long-distance thing. Right?"

"Yep," Chuck replied, pressing his lips together and widening his eyes. "Looks like everything's coming up roses."

"Are you going?" she asked excitedly. "Oh, Chuck, are you? Because that would be perfect."

"I looked it over, and Dad and I decided it wouldn't be worth it, for me. I had _no_ idea he was going to offer you the study-abroad, but you deserve it." She gave him a hug.

"I've got to go see about this new schedule," she said, hugging him again. "I'll talk to you later," and she rushed off.

Chuck walked over, found the VHS tape he was looking for and put it in the VCR, as Ellie walked in. "Did Dad just cockblock you?"

Chuck couldn't help but burst out laughing. "I mean, yeah, but he did a good thing for her."

"I don't have any boyfriends to worry about," Ellie repeated. She then realized what he was watching. "Chuck," she said softly.

"El, I'm trying to watch my wedding to my dream girl," he said softly, tears running down his face. Ellie just sat there beside him, rubbing his back as he lay on his stomach, watching his marriage from when he was eight.

}o{

The new semester began, and Chuck watched Sarah work her butt off trying to finish everything she could to go on the trip. They had learned over the summer that Bryce would be going on the same study-abroad trip. Chuck buried himself in his own work, since his final semester was one huge project, and he quickly lost track of the days.

The morning of his birthday, he heard the door open, but was too tired to see what was going on. A minute later he opened his eyes, feeling someone looking at him. He looked back at two blue eyes, a smile on her face. She did a 'Vanna White' pose with his cupcake.

"You are such a dork," he muttered.

"I am, but I make you smile," she replied.

"Thank you, but I seem to be missing something."

Sarah pulled up a bag and Chuck knew exactly what was in it: A Care Bear comic.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Okay, now, next chapter… it will be rough, but it's when it hits both of them. Come back for one more rough one, and then it will be fluff, rainbows, and unicorns after that, pinky swear. (Because I cannot write any more of this!)


	15. Ch 15, 22nd Birthday

A/N 1: PLEASE READ! I have read the reviews, I have a TON going on this week...I'm going to do the right thing and post TWO chapters back to back. THAT'S RIGHT! I AM GIVING YOU THE FLUFF TODAY! ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE FLUFF! Now, it may be several days before I get Part 2 of the next chapter posted, and I have nothing held back after that, but let's be honest, WE deserve it. YOU DESERVE IT! Thank you for hanging on. It means the world.

A/N 2: 2002-2003 Finish college and then the real world. Hang on one more time guys. Because after this, it is gonna get fluffy as a mug up in here. I know it's been rough, and I do believe this is the LAST time I ever write something like this. Them with other people…it has not been my favorite.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

The fall semester finished, and Chuck found himself at the airport, the morning of their flight to Europe. Bryce pulled him to the side, before he could get to Sarah. "Dude, I promise, I'll watch your girl."

"First, she's not my girl," Chuck began, making Bryce chuckle. "Bryce, she's not, and secondly… watch your friend." Bryce nodded. "Be safe, have fun, but not too much fun."

"Maybe you should, to," Bryce said pointedly.

"I've got other things to worry about."

"Yeah, we know," Bryce said, rolling his eyes and shoving him away. Chuck turned and was hit with a blonde blur.

"Gonna miss you, Nerd," she said into his shoulder, clinging to him. "Tell me not to go, and I'll stay."

"Go," Chuck said softly. "Be amazing, and when you come back we'll graduate, and get new jobs-"

"And our own places to live," Sarah added. "In the same complex. Pinky swear." He pinky swore with her. She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Love you, Chuck."

"Love you, Sarah." He pulled her close, his lips on her forehead. "Try not to pick up too many European men."

"Is ten too many?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah, anything under one hundred," Chuck replied, feeling her laugh against him. "Come back to me."

"Always," she said softly. With that, she went through security, as Chuck stood there, wishing he had told her how he really felt.

}o{

He was watching the signs for when the plane was unloading. He felt his excitement rising and was wiping his sweating hands on his jeans. He was just going to tell her, get it all out in the open, and let the chips fall where they may. He had to tell her, he couldn't do this any longer. She had to know. All semester as they wrote emails to each other, he found himself wanting to tell her. As he completed his project, he wanted to tell her. He missed not having her there. She had become part of his everyday walk of life, and while he had hurt more while she was gone when they were kids, he still hurt today. He hated the way he felt when he checked his inbox and there was no email from her.

"Chuck!" he heard, pulling him out of his thoughts, and a moment later, a familiar blond blur crashed into him. He held her tight, and let out a sigh of relief, just a second before she did the same thing. She pulled away from him to get a look at him. "Letting the hair go I see?"

"Well, I got wrapped up in the project," Chuck replied.

"I like it, it's sexy," she said. It was official, he was never cutting his hair, unless she wanted him to. It was then he noticed she looked a bit nervous. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay, I need to tell you something as well," Chuck said, swallowing. "I should have told you before you left."

She studied him. "What is it?"

"Chuck!" Bryce yelled, pulling them both into a group hug. "Man, I have to thank your dad, that was life-changing." He clapped Chuck on the back, and as he pulled away he snaked an arm around Sarah. Chuck looked from one to the other. "She hasn't told you yet," he said in a quiet voice. "Crap."

"You two," Chuck said, putting on his best smile, and pointing from one to the other. "That is awesome! I mean you two will have some pretty babies. If you were to have babies. Sorry, this just took me by surprise."

The two were laughing at his gaff. "This is what I wanted to tell you," Sarah said softly. "What was it you wanted to tell me."

"Well, that you two belong together," Chuck said with a shrug. "But you obviously figured it out. Without me there to get in your way."

"Hey, no," Bryce said, clapping him on the arm. "And dude, I expect nothing to change in your two's relationship. I know that, ah-"

"We were all there," Chuck said, encouraging him along.

"Right, and I get it, it was a low point for you all," Bryce continued.

"I mean it had to be for her. For me, it was a shot at the stars, right?" he said with a grin. The look on Sarah's face said she didn't find it funny. "Come on, Sarah, you know you're out of my league."

"Yeah, it would be a reach for me to be with you, because you deserve far better," she said, locking eyes with him.

"Sorry," Chuck said. "It's been a long semester, and I got a bit of a surprise here. My head is not working right." Chuck turned to Bryce. "I'm gonna get the car. Why don't you help Sarah with the bags?"

Sarah grabbed Chuck's arm. "You okay?"

"I'm great," he said, with a huge smile. "See you two in ten, okay?" He took off, and Sarah filed the look on his face away. She knew it well. It was the look he wore when he was lying.

}o{

Chuck was not great. The three graduated, and Stephen threw a huge party for all of them. Chuck was off to the side, watching Sarah and Bryce, when he felt her beside him. "I ever tell you about Zondra, and that she told me she loved me?" he asked Ellie quietly.

"No," Ellie replied.

"She was going into the CIA, I think, or some agency like that," Chuck began. "She told me she loved me, and she wouldn't go… all I had to do was ask. All I had to do was love her. She knew I couldn't, but something she said stuck in my brain." He turned to his sister. "She told me as long as there were three of us, and she meant that figuratively…" Ellie snorted, making Chuck grin. "…that she couldn't do it." He glanced over at Sarah and Bryce. "They got together because I wasn't there."

"They did," Ellie agreed, but something in her tone caused him to pause. "Go on, I want to see where this deep-thinking leads to. It's obviously flawed, but go on."

Chuck gave her a skeptical look, but continued. "If I'm not there, that lets them have a shot at this."

"I see," Ellie said. "You know what," she said, patting his chest. "Go with it."

"Really? You think I'm right?"

"Nope, not even close. But either way, you two will finally have to face things."

"I already have, Ellie," Chuck said, thrusting his hands in his pockets, a forlorn look on his face. Ellie shook her head.

"No, you're both still hiding, and until you accept what each other _truly_ means to the other, until you see yourself through the other's eyes, it's going to be this insane will they/won't they dance that all of us are _so_ sick of."

"I don't mean to be a bother."

"You're not. You're both just really stupid when it comes to love," Ellie said, walking off. Chuck stood there a minute, and moved further away from Bryce and Sarah. Sarah watched him out of the corner of her eye.

"That's two," she murmured to herself.

}o{

"Come on, wake up," he heard her voice say a few mornings later.

"I'm awake, I'm awake," he said, sitting up, blinking.

"You forgot," she accused him.

"I did not," he replied, having no idea what he forgot. She gave him a level look. "Fine, I forgot. You know I've been working a lot of hours. What did I forget?"

"Apartments," she said.

"Oh, you know… I've been thinking," he began.

"If you say Bryce should take the other one, I will murder you, dig up the body, bring you back to life Frankenstein-style, and murder you again."

Chuck gulped. "That is not what I was going to say."

"Okay, buddy," she said, sitting on his bed. "Spill it. What is going on?"

"I don't know what you mean," Chuck insisted. "We need to go, or we could lose those apartments."

"Okay," she relented. "But one more time and I will _make_ you tell me."

"One more time what?" he asked. She gave him a look and left his room. "Crap, she scares me sometimes," he muttered.

}o{

Chuck and Sarah found two empty apartments in Echo Park, across from each other with a fountain separating them. They all three celebrated her birthday, and that night, in her new apartment, she showed them her grandfather's guitar. While Bryce was interested in the story, Chuck was fully pulled in. Bryce watched her watch Chuck, as she told the story. She began to play a song and asked Bryce to sing, but he wouldn't because he didn't like his voice. She asked Chuck to, and he said he would, but if he broke any windows, it wasn't his fault.

_Twenty-five years and my life is still_

_Trying to get up that great big hill of hope_

_For a destination_

Bryce watched, as Sarah watch Chuck sing. The night ended, and Chuck headed back to his apartment. In the morning, as Chuck was leaving early for work, he came out and saw Bryce leaving Sarah's, as she stood in the door way. "Walk of shame, Bryce?" Chuck yelled out. Chuck looked back at Sarah who gave him a smile. Bryce saw it all, the hurt on his face, the look on hers. While it was a smile, it was uncomfortable.

Chuck rarely saw Bryce and Sarah at work, as he was the video game division. Sarah was supposed to join him, but every time she asked Stephen when it was going to happen, he told her Chuck hadn't asked for her yet. A week before his birthday, she'd had enough, and marched across the courtyard after watching him get home.

"We need to talk. Have I done something wrong?"

Chuck looked at her, stunned. "No, of course not, why would you think that?

"I thought you and I were going to run your company."

Chuck stood there a second, looking at her. He cleared his throat. "Should you?" Her eyes narrowed. "Hear me out: Do you think you should be a part of it? Is it best for you?"

"What the hell does that mean, Chuck?" Sarah asked, getting a bit angry. She pointed toward the apartment and they went inside. "Do you _not_ want me to be a part of this?"

"No… I mean yes, I mean…" Chuck blew out a breath. She walked up to him, taking his hands, and noticed that he seemed to immediately calm down and find peace.

"Just talk to me," she said softly.

"It's not that I don't want you to be a part of things, because there's nothing I want more. You've been with me on this dream ever since I've known you, but we're not kids, we're not in school, and it's time to be real. It's time to admit, maybe I don't get my happy ending, especially if it's going to cost you yours."

"Chuck, I believe in you and what you can do. I want to be a part of this," Sarah insisted.

"I know. I don't question you, or your desire to be a part of this, but… at what cost to you?" She gave him a quizzical look. "Sarah, every time one of us finds someone the other ends up running them off, unintentionally."

She searched his face. There was no resentment, no anger. Just worry, for her.

"That's _their_ problem," she said, flooring him.

"But it's more than that," he went on, shaken by her words. "I thought you found what you wanted in your work... and, well, maybe... being with me on this end of the company, it wouldn't be as fulfilling. And maybe you hadn't thought about that."

"Really?" she asked in a flat tone. "Charles Irving Bartowski, I went on that trip for _us_. To find out what I could do to make your dream a reality. My dream has always been working with someone I can trust, believe in, and be proud to work with."

"I mean, thank you, that you feel that strongly about me, but… Sarah, you found someone on that trip, and I thought maybe you realized you could have more. Maybe I'm in your way. Maybe I need to be out of your life so you and Bryce can-"

"Stop," she said, holding his hands. "Chuck, you are my best friend, and the rule has always been you come first. You are more important than anything else, you're more important than any of those guys I've dated, and more important than Bryce. Do you understand me? You are the most important thing in my world. You spend so much time worrying about me, what's best for me… What about what's best for you? Huh? Do you want me gone, or are you saying this because of your constant worry for me? God, Chuck, for almost fifteen years, everything you do has been about me."

And that's when it slammed into her, so hard she nearly collapsed.

He loved her. This wasn't just being a friend. This wasn't being a nice guy. He truly _loved_ her. He would do anything for her, make any sacrifice, and that shook her to her core. No one knew her like he did, and he _still_ loved her. The reason he pulled away wasn't because of her, it was _for_ her. So that she could be happy in what he thought she wanted.

Now what? She wasn't good enough for him, but he loved her anyway. What the hell was she supposed to do with that? How was she supposed to function knowing that? The same way he had.

"Sarah?" Chuck said. Apparently, he had said something. Well it was time for her to say some things.

"Sorry, had a moment there," she said with a smile. "So tomorrow, you're telling your dad that you are ready for me to be transferred.

"Tomorrow's Saturday," Chuck said, grinning. She gave him a look, and he swallowed. "You know what, maybe I'll call him now."

"Good. Then, you are taking me dancing, because Bryce is out of town. But more importantly, I want to have a night with you."

"Shall I put on my best heels?" he asked with a grin.

"No," she replied, smacking his shoulder. She took both of his shoulders into her hands. "Listen, you big goof. The next time you have some of these stupid thoughts, how about you talk to me, huh?"

"I was trying to do what's best for you."

"_You_ are what's best for me," she told him honestly. What the hell was she going to do? "Now, I've got to go. I've got to get ready for dancing."

"Sarah," he said, as she got to the door. She turned toward him. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're never gonna find out," she said to him, and made it a silent promise, at the same time. "Go, and don't even bother trying to tame that mess," she said, pointing at his hair. "I'll have you so sweaty by the time the night's over, it won't matter."

"That's sounded dirty."

"Maybe I meant for it to," she replied, bouncing her eyebrows. She left, walked across the courtyard, and entered her apartment. She went over, and grabbed her phone.

"Hey, Bryce, how long are you out of town? Oh, well, I need you to know I'm transferring to Chuck's department next week. Yeah, it's about time. See you when you get back."

She hung up. She had to break up with Bryce. She had to do it in person. They had barely seen each other, except at work, since her birthday.

She had been lonely in Europe. Only Chuck's emails kept her company. Bryce had been nice enough, friendly enough. Who knows what might happen if Chuck Bartowski wasn't here, across the courtyard. She had no idea, but the truth was, he _was_ here. She had never been so scared in her entire life. She loved Chuck, he loved her. What was she going to do about it?

}o{

She dropped off the Care Bear comic, and found herself on the couch, the letter in her hand.

_It's taken me a long time to accept __that__ you love me. Just the way I am. And that scares me, because deep down I don't know that I won't run when things get hard. No one has ever been there for me, like you. For the love of God, you kept me from getting raped, you created this magical prom night for me. Not for you, although I hoped you got something out of it, but for me. And then… then we almost make love. I know deep down if we had, you would __have__ been it, but would I have screwed it up__?_

_And Bryce__…__ what a mistake. I was lonely, all I had was classes_,_ and he was the only person I knew. He was fun, a distraction, but now… now I know. I knew __that__ it could never lead to more, and when we came back, I debated telling him it was over. It was what it was. But if I did, didn't that mean I was leaving him for a reason? Didn't that mean I had to deal with you? Didn't that mean I could lose you? I couldn't. _

_Looking back, I missed so many clues. You were going to tell me that morning_,_ weren't you__?__ You were going to tell me you loved me_,_ but I had to go on and on about how the trip was perfect, nothing holding me back. God, Chuck, I'm both glad_,_ and hate myself, because if you told me I wouldn't have gone__. I'd have__ stayed with you. Would we have fought over that? Would you have insisted I go, would I have insisted I stay? We both would have_,_ and that's why you did it_,_ wasn't it? That's why you didn't tell me. I'm tired of hurting you, Chuck__. I'm__ tired of hurting me__. B__ut I can't leave, and I can't let you in_,_ knowing what I'll do. Or will I? I can't lose you. I promise you, Chuck, next year, on your birthday, if I haven't told you, I will. And I'm terrified of what that means for us. I'm terrified of losing you. But it's gotten to the point __where_,_ if I don't, I'm going to lose you anyway. I just don't know how. I don't know how to be what you need, what you deserve. I love you. That's not what I question. What I question is how do I love you the way you deserve to be loved?_

}o{

Chuck heard a window slide open and looked up, seeing her stepping into his room. "Thought I locked that window."

"Maybe you did," she said, grinning.

"Is it that day already?" he asked. "You know, nothing means more to me than this."

"Nothing?" Sarah asked, tilting her head.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: NEXT CHAPTER IS POSTED! GO NOW! WAIT! Before you run to it, leave me a review telling me how much you hate me, Bryce, and all of Chuck for creating Bryce and putting them in this terrible situation. :) I can take it. Now go, quickly. Pt 2 as soon as I can. Find something to hold onto, because this mess is gonna end. (not the fic, the angst.) (Seriously, it's done.)


	16. Ch 16, 23rd Birthday Pt 1

A/N: I'd like to tip my hat to Zettel. (Mis) Education is one of the hardest things I've ever read, and I talked to him all the time as he worked his way through it. This has been a nightmare for me. You know I'm Charah all the way, but what I've done with them…it physically hurt me. I'm a big ole romantic softy, and I'm pretty sure you guys know that. This, where we are, this is my jam. Let's get fluffy. Let's get these two together. Time for me to shut up. I've used this song in another fic, I know, but we use Feeling Good all the time, so I'm going to okay me using this one again. (I don't know if I'm allowed to do that, but I am, basically because it WORKS)

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

Sarah walked up to Bryce's door, seeing the light on inside. She knocked and waited. The door opened, and there stood Bryce, his hair wild, lipstick on his mouth, and the grin on his face dying as he saw her. He at least had the good graces to be ashamed.

"Well, I guess you decided something, and forgot to tell me," Sarah said, seething inside. Couldn't he have broken up with her first? Was that too much to ask?

"Sarah, listen," he began.

"Save it, Bryce. For the record, I was coming over here to break up with you, anyway. So, see you at work." With that she turned, and walked away.

Why was she mad, hurt, and any other negative adjective she could think of? She had pride, and she deserved to be treated fairly. That's why. The drive from Bryce's apartment was a blur. She parked her car, and didn't even realize she had walked into Chuck's apartment until she saw him standing there, concern on his face.

"I went to break up with him, and he had someone else there," she said softly. "Why do I care?" Chuck didn't answer; he just wrapped his arms around her. He held her, and a few hours later, she found herself in his arms, in bed. She felt safe, she felt… home. _He_ was home. He had always been home, and that scared the ever-loving shit out of her. She loved him, he loved her… and she _knew_ in her head that one day she'd ruin it. She swore to herself she was going to tell him. Seconds later, she drifted off to sleep.

}o{

At work the next morning, Sarah was on a phone call when Chuck heard her pause, and then carry on. Most people wouldn't have noticed, but she sounded colder. Chuck turned, and saw Bryce.

"Can we talk?" Bryce looked over at Sarah and then back to Chuck. "Maybe take a walk?"

Chuck and Bryce walked to a nearby park. Chuck had never seen Bryce so upset. "I screwed up, Chuck."

"Yeah, you did, and you're never getting her back," Chuck told him.

"Chuck, I never had her to get back," Bryce said softly. Chuck turned to him. "God, you're an idiot. Dude, on the trip, there were… moments, that I thought she and I could have it all, but… it wasn't me she wanted. We had fun, we were… convenient, a distraction."

"Just say it," Chuck said softly.

"It's you she wants," he told him.

"Then why does she keep telling me she'd mess it up if we tried?"

"Have you ever asked?" Bryce asked him. Chuck looked away, not answering. "Chuck?"

"I was gonna tell her how I felt," Chuck began. "The day she found out about the trip. She kept going on and on about how easier it was without having someone here." Bryce looked up to the heavens. "I decided I'd tell her when she got back."

"Are you freaking serious?" Bryce asked him. "Well, go tell her now."

Chuck gave him a look. "Now, after what she's been through?"

"Shit," Bryce muttered. "Chuck, you can't _not_ tell her."

"It's worked so far," Chuck said, shrugging.

"Bullshit," Bryce told him, getting in his face. "You have avoided, you have gotten by, but it has _not_ worked. You two would have been together if I had walked in that door two seconds later."

"Literally," Chuck said, pressing his lips together and widening his eyes.

"That is not what I meant," Bryce replied, trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. "I never meant to hurt her, I didn't. I honestly didn't think she cared."

"I think you hurt her pride, her feelings, disrespected her. Bryce, she likes you."

"Yeah, but she loves you, Buddy, always has," Bryce said, clapping him on the shoulder. "So, what are you gonna do?" Chuck had no idea.

When he got back to the office, Sarah was gone, and he dove back into work. He saw her walk in, and he turned his chair, watching her. "What?" she asked.

"I take it, knowing how you work, you're off the dating scene for a while?"

"Yeah," she replied, giving him a look like the village had lost its idiot, and it was him.

"Can I ask a HUGE favor?"

"Anything," she replied.

"Anything?" Chuck asked his eyebrows raised.

"You can't handle anything," she replied, her own eyebrows raised back at him.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that," Chuck said softly. Sarah looked stunned. He saw her visibly swallow. "All I ask is WHEN you feel you are ready, before you talk to another guy, before you go out with another guy, you have a conversation with me."

"About what?"

"About what you really want, because this time, Sarah Walker, this time you're going to get it right."

"I am?" she asked, trying to control the trembling.

"I promise," Chuck said with a confidence he didn't know he had.

"Okay," she said, just above a whisper. She went back to work, neither speaking because neither was sure what to say after all of that.

}o{

Neither of them said anything, again settling into their Dance of the Damned Singles. Hand holding, snuggling on the couch, going to movies, clubs, everything like that, was the norm. But the physical and the verbal… the terror of all that had been held back over the years, frightened both to the point that they could not express it.

Halloween came, and Chuck and Sarah were at Stephen's house, handing out candy with Devon and Ellie, who seemed to be getting closer and closer. Sarah found herself outside, on the back porch with Emma.

"Am I like him?" Sarah asked softly, shattering the solitude between the two. "Can I love the right way?"

"_Here_ it is," Emma replied. Tears were falling down Sarah's face. "No, Baby, you are not him, or even like him."

"But I ran, just like he ran when things got too hard. I've kept things from being too hard since then, so I wouldn't have to choose."

"Are you seriously calling what you're doing 'not hard'?" Emma asked. "You two constantly being around each other, being the way you are… how is that not akin to torture?"

"It's easy to deal with when you know the alternative is to be alone," Sarah answered with a shrug.

"Let me ask you an honest question: If Chuck found someone, and was in love – and I mean total complete love – what would you do if you found out the other woman had a problem with your relationship?"

Sarah sat there quietly. "I'd back off," she finally replied.

"Then wouldn't you be alone?" Sarah looked away, tears streaming now.

"I don't know what to do," Sarah said.

"Follow your heart," Emma told her.

"Your heart got you in trouble… remember?"

"It gave me you," Emma countered. "It just took me a long time to realize that."

}o{

Thanksgiving was a family affair, that found Chuck in the corner of the couch with Sarah asleep on his shoulder. Ellie was not even trying to hide the look she was giving them. Mary snorted, and told Ellie to behave. When the four left, Mary told Ellie to, "Take care of your Devon," and not missing a beat, turned to Chuck and said, "Take care of your Sarah." Sarah smiled at Mary, gave her a hug and whispered, "Talk soon," into her ear, making Mary's eyes widen.

Christmas was the whole extended family, and Sarah found herself watching Chuck from across the room. She felt a presence on either side of her. "Do you think I'm good enough for him?" she asked softly.

"Oh boy," Ellie said, taking a gulp of her wine. "Are we _finally_ here?"

"Keep your voice down, Ellie, and yes, you are. You're perfect," Mary told her.

"Same problem?" Ellie asked. Sarah nodded. "So, we're _not_ here."

"But we're not there," Mary said, pouring them all a drink. The three women looked over at the two Bartowski men and Devon. "Bless my husband's heart, I could kick his ass for what he did, giving you that overseas thing before you two worked it out."

"Would we have?" Sarah asked.

Mary shook her head. "Probably not, but I can dream about weddings and grandkids." Ellie and Sarah's eyes both widened. "Hmmm… neither of you said no, or ran. Interesting," and with that, Mary walked off.

"I need to talk to him," Sarah said.

"You do," Ellie agreed. "But you're not here yet."

"But I'm not there."

}o{

Sarah swore she was going to talk to him, but as the game project ramped up, so did their workload. When they weren't working, they were just enjoying each other's company. They needed each other in the quiet moments. Sarah found herself spending the night, needing his arm around her, just to feel tethered to the world. The things she was thinking, the possibilities of her, Chuck, kids, family… it was staggering. She had never let herself imagine that kind of life before.

As her birthday approached, and she was working like mad getting all the distribution rights for the game nailed down, a scream came from Chucks' office. He walked out, hands in the air, like he had accomplished his ultimate dream. "YAAAAASSSSSSS! It's playable! We're in Gold mode!"

"Are you kidding?" Sarah asked, excited. He picked her up and spun her around and plastered a kiss on her lips. "Chuck, that is amazing!"

"It's all because of you, and your never giving up on me, on my dream." He hugged her. "Thank you, Sarah. I couldn't do any of this without you. I gotta go tell Dad!" He rushed off. Sarah walked over, picked up the phone, and called Mary.

"It's time for us to talk," she said.

}o{

Chuck's prep for the game launch kept her busier than she'd expected, so it wasn't until July 3rd that she had the time. Mary asked her to go to lunch with her, and then shopping for the big Bartowski cookout.

"Small talk, or just get to it?" Mary asked, after the waiter had taken their order.

"Mary, I love him. I think he loves me, but I need to hear him say it," Sarah began.

"That's fair," Mary agreed, nodding.

"I also need to trust myself that I won't run away, when it gets hard," Sarah added.

"I'm about to tell you something, and it's in the strictest confidence… understood?" Sarah nodded. "You don't know that you won't." Sarah's eyes went wide, and Mary grinned. "Now you're ready."

"I don't understand," Sarah said, confused.

"Many years ago, there was a scientist that had discovered something very special, and a CIA agent was sent to watch over him, to protect him and make sure he got the job done. As the job finished, and it was time to go, the agent finally accepted she was in love with her asset. That's what they call those working with CIA agents." Sarah didn't say anything, enthralled by the story. "The agent told the asset they couldn't be together. She didn't know how, she had done terrible things, she wasn't good enough for him. It was best for him to forget about her, and she left." Sarah sat there, quietly. Mary looked at her.

"Tell me there's more, tell me she was smart enough to say he was right?"

"She wasn't," Mary said. "She returned to Langley, and was quickly pulled into the director's office. The asset had hacked their systems, and took control of everything."

"WHAT?" Sarah asked, surprised.

"He said he would return everything to working order _if_ she listened to him. So, under the explicit orders of the Director, she did." Mary paused as their lunch was served. "She expected everything in the world, except what he asked her. Was he good enough for her?" Mary tasted her soup. "Mmm, this is good."

"Mary," Sarah said, exasperated.

"Right, right," Mary said, dabbing at her mouth. "She told him not only was he, he was _too_ good. He said her actions didn't show that. He told her that if she really believed that, then she had to trust that he thought she was good enough for him, and what he wanted." She went back to her soup, Sarah tried not to glare. "So, they got married, had two kids. She got a doctorate in psychology, and is trying to get you not to glare at her so she can eat her soup."

Sarah's eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"Also, Chuck is a _much_ better hacker than Stephen, so if you run, he _will_ find you."

"Have you ever considered leaving?" Sarah asked softly.

"Yeah, but I talked things over with Stephen, and told him my worries. And as a team, we always overcame them," Mary said.

"You must think me a fool," Sarah said, looking down at her soup.

"Yeah… you're letting your soup get cold," Mary said. Sarah looked up at a chuckling Mary. "Chuck's so much better at humor than I am." She reached over and took Sarah's hand, surprising the younger woman. "I don't think you're a fool. I think you've been through a lot, and will do anything, including at great cost to yourself, to protect those you love."

"How do I protect him?" Sarah asked.

"_That's_ easy. Be you, be with him, and just let him love you, and you love him. That's it, Sarah."

"That sounds easy," Sarah agreed.

"Oh, it sounds easy. Knowing what to do _is_ easy. But actually _doing_ it, that's the hardest thing in the world."

}o{

The launch had been one of the most insane things the two had ever been a part of. The team was now ten people, and after the successful launch, Stephen told them to take the rest of the month off. Chuck reminded his father there could be bugs, so a system was set up for everyone to maximize their time off. Sarah found herself at home the night before his birthday, alone, while Chuck was working on a few things. She pulled out the long letter and read it. She rolled her eyes and how stupid she'd been. She was going to tell him tomorrow, if he didn't read her letter tonight. She sat down and decided to write one that got to the point.

_Chuck,_

_For your birthday__,__ I'm going to give you __something different. I__'m giving you the truth. I love you. Not just as my best friend, but I __am in__ love __with__ you. I can't bring myself to tell you to your face__,__ because I'm scared. What if you don't feel the same way about me? What if you don't want to try__,__ because it could ruin what we have? I left this here__,__ because I know today, like every year, you'll pull this comic out and read it. It's your call, Buddy. Whatever you decide, I love you._

_Sarah_

She nodded, gathered her courage, went across the courtyard, and went inside his apartment. She placed the letter inside of Care Bears #1 and spun, her eyes wide, as he opened the door. He had a tired, but happy and satisfied, smile on his face.

"Trying to hide it?" Chuck asked.

"Nope," she replied, holding up his newest comic. He came over and captured her in a huge hug, just enveloping her. She thought about telling him right that instant.

"I just want to lay down," he whined. She smiled, took his hand, sat on the couch and had him lay down, his head in her lap. Five minutes later, he was asleep.

}o{

"Mmm," he hummed after a two-hour nap.

"Sleep well?" she asked him.

"Always do, when your here." Her heart began to beat faster. She needed to be near him tonight. She needed to look into his eyes. An idea came to her.

"I know your birthday is tomorrow, but can I ask a favor?" Sarah asked, sitting on his couch, her legs tucked under her. Her hand played with his curls, his head on her lap.

"Do I have to move from this position?" he asked. He was trying to summon the courage to say something to her about what Bryce had said, about how he felt; about _them_.

"Can we go dancing?" Chuck sat up, and turned to look at her. She had a grin on her face, and they both knew he was going to say yes. "That 80s club? What is it called? The Jungle?"

"What a cheesy name for a night club," Chuck replied.

"It's exactly what you would call it if you ran it, so don't go doing that," she said, booping his nose with her finger.

"Woman, I am nearly a 23-year-old man. Do you think you can just boop my nose whenever you want?" She looked him right in the eye, reached out, and booped him again. "Okay, apparently you do."

}o{

They had been there for nearly three hours, and it was getting close to 2 am. "One more," Sarah said. "I love dancing with you."

"Why?" he asked. He had to know, because he was going to tell her. He was going to tell her exactly how he felt. He had to know, because he realized he needed to know everything that was Sarah Walker. He needed to know, because he loved her, and he had to do whatever made her happy. And God, did he ever want to make her happy. He wanted to _be_ what made her happy.

"Because it's you, and I'm safe. Because you don't judge me, you are here for me, and you love me."

"Okay then," Chuck said, not having the ability to say anything other than that. She led him to the dance floor, and he heard the sounds of the opening of Pat Benatar's _All Fired Up_. As the lyrics hit, Sarah closed her eyes and just began to dance, feeling the music.

_Lookin for a reason, searchin for a sign._

All the nights they spent together, all the secrets, and the heartache they had shared, they all flooded his memories.

_Now I believe there comes a time _

_When everything just falls in line._

Bryce telling him how Sarah loved Chuck, and always had. All the times Ellie had told them how perfect they were together… those memories assaulted him.

_We live and learn from our mistakes _

_The deepest cuts are healed by faith_

Their walking the campus together after Sarah had sex for the first time. Him seeing Bryce leave her apartment and her smiling at Chuck, his heart broke all over again.

_Ain't nobody living in a perfect world_

_Everybody's out there crying to be heard_

The memories of her after finding her with her dead grandmother. The look on her face before she left with her dad. He was fighting to keep tears from falling.

She stopped dancing, and suddenly pressed herself against him, just moving in time with the music. He put his hand gently against the back of her head and held her as they swayed to the music.

_Now I believe there comes a time _

_When everything just falls in line_

She looked up at him, her eyes shining. Neither said a word, neither dared break the gaze. And that's how they stayed until the song ended. Sarah kissed him gently on the lips and pulled away. "Thank you, Chuck."

}o{

They walked from the car to the courtyard, stopping right in front of the fountain. Sarah looked over at him, and winked. "Well, this is me."

He was done, done fighting it, done pretending. He just had to figure out how to say what needed to be said. His hand reached out and took hers, startling her. Not that she was upset, but a look of worry for him crossed her face. "Stay." He swallowed. "Please."

She walked up to him, searching his eyes. She saw something there that she had seen before, but he had tried to hide in the past. She had seen it that night in the dorm room. Tonight, he wasn't hiding, and she wasn't either. She came close, nearly pressing against him. "You know I will."

"I do," he replied softly. She searched his eyes, saw nothing had changed, took his hand, and led him to his door. She paused and turned to look at him. She asked the scariest question she had ever voiced in her life: "Is this what you want?" He knew it was a loaded question, and for once in his life, he didn't care.

He took a deep breath. This was it. For fifteen years they had been together. He knew it, she knew it. Fifteen years, and they had never taken that final step. He took that step now, towards her. The corners of her mouth turned up in the beginnings of a smile. "It's what I've always wanted, but what do you want?"

She stood there, stunned. "What?"

He swallowed. He had overstepped. "I'm sorry, it just-"

"What do you mean this is what you always wanted? Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Wait, what?" he asked, and that's as far as he got. The next thing he knew she was kissing him. Sarah freaking Walker was kissing him. Not a friend kiss, not a causal lover kiss, but an 'I need you to live' kiss. Her tongue swept his, and he didn't know who moaned, or if it was both of them. He heard the doorknob being messed with, and then he was being pulled forward. She let go for just a minute to shut the door.

"Tell me," she said softly. She was standing there, pressed against the door. She was holding him. He looked down into her eyes, and knew what she wanted… no… _needed_, to hear.

"I love you," he blurted out.

"I love you too, Chuck," she began.

"No, Sarah, I am _in love_ with _you_." Her eyes went wide, her face soft. "I have been, for so long, but I thought you didn't feel that way about me."

"God, Chuck," she began, but she lost the ability to use words. Sarah Walker had always been more one to use action, and she grabbed his shirt, yanking him to her, kissing him soundly. She led him, while kissing, to the bedroom.

Chuck found his shirt was being unbuttoned, and pushed off his shoulders. She was having trouble removing it, because he was cupping her face in his hands. She fell back on the bed, pulling him on top of her. She felt him press against her and she shivered, her hands rubbing his now bare back. He kissed her neck, in that spot she had told him about. God, she was so glad she had! And then he pulled away.

"Sarah, are you sure?" he asked softly. She cupped her hand around the back of his neck, rubbing the spot that made his eyes flutter. She grinned… she had heard this before.

"There are few things I've been sure about in life, Chuck Bartowski," she said, staring into his eyes. She gave him his smile. "I am sure that if anyone walks through that door, we are _not_ stopping this time." Chuck smiled. "But you? You, I am sure about. Make love to me, Chuck." The grin nearly split his face in half. He kissed her, but she gently pushed him back, taking off her shirt and then her bra. "I hope you studied that book," she said, bouncing her eyebrows at him. Chuck grinned at her, and ran his fingers up the side of her ribs. "Was that in the book?" she gasped.

"Nope," Chuck replied grinning. "That was in my brain, from watching you all these years."

"Sure it wasn't Zondra?" She asked.

"I'm not answering that," Chuck replied.

"Smart choice. Feel free to go to that move, often. Zondra, or no Zondra," she said, giggling and throwing her jeans. His hands reversed course, and headed south down her side, stopping when he go to the top of her underwear. He traced his fingers just under the hem as he kissed her neck. "Jesus," she groaned. "Was that in the book?"

"Sarah," Chuck said softly.

"Yeah, Chuck," she replied, emphasizing the "k".

"This isn't a one-night thing, is it? Because I can't go back to-"

Her mouth covered his and when she pulled away she grabbed a handful of hair and looked him right in the eye. "You just told me you love me… you don't get away from me that easily."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you too, you nerd. I'm saying the guy I've been looking for all my life, the one person in this world that makes me stupidly happy, has been here all along, and I thought I wasn't good enough for him."

"What?" he said sitting up. He blinked his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"I mean, I'm just gonna be real with you, because we always have been. You, like that, saying you're not good enough for me… it may be extremely shallow, but I'm not even close to your league." She sat up, a glint in her eye.

"Apparently I'm going to have to show you _exactly_ how much I am not out of your league," she said. He swallowed, but had an extremely pleased look on his face.

"If you insist," he replied. She grinned, and pulled him down to her. "I love you."

"Wait 'til I get done with you," she teased him, nipping at his ear. "Uh, Chuck, I kinda need you to get these pants off." He tried in the position he was in, and ended up falling off the bed, making her laugh. She looked down at him, lying on the ground, his pants around his ankles. "I love you."

}o{

Chuck woke up a few hours later, alone. He sat up, worried. Had she realized she had made a mistake? Had he ruined everything? He looked over, and she was standing in his doorway, with only his shirt on. "I see I'm going to have to do some more convincing."

"Uh," he began. She walked over to him, holding his cupcake and the comic from last night. She pressed her free finger to his lips to shush him.

"I know, hard to believe, I get it," she said softly. She handed him his comic, and he smiled as he took it.

"Wow, a Care Bear comic," he said in mock surprise. She kissed him, and then pulled back, holding the cupcake out to him.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: *DC and EDC turn and smile into the camera*


	17. Ch 17, 23rd Birthday Pt 2

A/N: …*smirks*

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"We have to leave this bed sometime," Chuck said, not really wanting to move.

"I mean, we probably should," came the reply from Sarah, draped nude over him.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked, suddenly. She raised her eyes, and gave him the most salaciously wicked grin he had ever seen. He shuddered with anticipation. "While that is something I would like to participate in, I was hoping for a date. One in which we might… talk."

"No," Sarah said, shaking her head. Chuck looked disappointed.

"That didn't come out right." She took a deep breath. "I feel like _I_ need to do most of the talking. As for a date, you feel free to ask me out anytime you want to, Baby. Unless there's a _damn_ good reason, I'm going to say yes."

"Is that from the song?" he asked. She shrugged. "I'm okay either way."

"What if it's both?"

"I'm trying to have a conversation, and you are just being adorable. And you would think that after what we just did, I wouldn't have the strength, but I'm begin-" her fingers were on his lips, stopping him.

"You know we are the biggest dumbasses, ever, right?" she asked him, tears in her eyes. He nodded. She removed her fingers.

"I was going to tell you I loved you the day you told me about the study abroad." She flopped back on the bed, her hands over her face. "Then I was going to tell you when you got back," he continued. She made a groaning sound. "Then I was going to tell you after you broke up with Bryce, but you were done with men, and being as I _am_ one…"

"I'm thinking about dating a tall curly-headed nerd. Do you think he can be the one I get it right with?" she interrupted, remembering what he had asked her.

"As long as it's me," he replied.

"It is," she said, looking him in the eye, and then sighing. "This is my fault," she began.

"Nope," Chuck said, making her move her hands and look at him. "This is shared. Just like everything else, going forward."

Her eyes widened. "What are you saying?"

"If you'll have me, I want to be part of your life, in _every_ way." She shivered and grinned at him.

"You know that sentence you couldn't finish?" Chuck nodded. "Let's find out."

}o{

They walked into the Mexican restaurant after the lunch crowd had left, both of their stomachs rumbling. They were seated, across from each other, forcing themselves to let go of the other's hand. "So, what I was trying to say earlier, is I owe you a lot of explanations."

"You don't owe me anything," Chuck began.

"Nope… we're sharing, remember?" Chuck grinned at her. "Where do I begin?"

"Well, the way I see it, we have the rest of our lives to talk. And I promise you, I'm going to make you talk," Chuck said.

"Make me?" she asked, an eyebrow arched.

"Ve have vays of making you talk, fraulein," Chuck said, in a horrific German accent.

"Please, mister, I don't want no trouble… I'll do _anything_ you ask," she rebutted in the best innocent-girl voice she could manage.

"Good Lord," Chuck muttered, downing his water, making her laugh out loud. He looked at her, grinning. "You know, I kind of can't believe it. My best friend… she's in love with me."

She reached over and took his hand. "Chuck, not only is she in love with you, but she is going to do everything in her power to be with you, for the rest of our lives. To spend every day proving to you that you are the most important thing in my life. That you are what's best for me. That I love you, and I'm going to be here."

"I love you, Sarah."

"I love you," she said, squeezing his hands. "I know where I need to start." Chuck nodded. "I ran away from you," she said, tears in her eyes. "And not just when I was a kid, and went with my dad. I ran away from _you_. I said it was because I ruined everything, I said it was because everyone leaves me. I said every excuse in the book, except the truth. I didn't know how to handle being loved as much as you loved me, after Granny died. You loved me so much, that if you'd suddenly left like she did, it would have destroyed me."

"Sarah," he said softly. She shook her head.

"I need to say this. You frightened me by how much love was in your heart for me. And the thing is… if just once, one of us had slipped… If just once, we hadn't been interrupted by a phone call, by Bryce, by a trip, by so many things… we'd have been together all this time." She sat there, her head low.

"Would we?" he asked, making her head jerk up. "Hear me out… Would we? Were we ready? Were we ready for what we have now? Hell, Sarah, we were young. Would we have appreciated each other, and how we feel, if we hadn't been through all of this?"

He grinned at her. "Would we even know what we were worth fighting for? Would we understand what we have?" He sat back with a shrug. "I can't honestly answer that. So, while there were some moments that weren't fun for me, if it always leads me back here to you…" He shook his head, smiling. "I'd do it a million times. And then a million more. Because you're worth it, _we're_ worth it, and I am going to fight for you, for us, as long as I have breath in my body."

Sarah didn't know what to say to all of that.

The waitress appeared at their table. "We have margarita specials… oh wait, that's tonight," she said.

"I'll have one," Sarah said without hesitation, making Chuck laugh. She grinned at him. "He, on the other hand, will _not,_ because I need him sober. He says the nicest things when he's sober."

"That's nice, Honey," the waitress said, rolling her eyes as she walked off. Chuck laughed his head off.

}o{

"Hey, I know we're going to your parents later, but do you mind if I go run an errand?" she asked, as they walked to the car after lunch.

"Uh, first, you are not beholden to me," Chuck began.

"Nice, glad you're making good use of that 'word of the day' calendar I got you," she said, with a smirk.

"Second, do you need me to drive?" She gave him a look, confusing him. "I mean I know it was just a margarita, but…"

"No, I'm fine to drive… but if you _do _drive, I need you to do something for me," Sarah said. Chuck nodded. "I need you to stay in the car."

"Okay," he chirped. "I can do that."

"I don't believe you for a second. You always want to be a part of everything," she said, looking up at him with a grin. "It's one of the reasons I love you."

"Come on, you have an errand to run. And if you keep talking like that, I'm gonna take you in my arms and squeeze you for days."

"Tease," she said, getting in the car. A little while later, they pulled up to the destination. Chuck had figured it out pretty quickly.

"I'll wait here," he said softly.

"Thanks… this is something I need to do alone… this time," she said, squeezing his hand.

"Hey, I love you," Chuck said.

"Yeah, and I love you." She got out of the car and walked slowly to her destination. She knelt down, and looked up at the heavens. "Granny, I didn't listen. I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath, and didn't even bother trying to stop the tears. "I did close my heart off, thinking it would stop the pain. It didn't. It only numbed it a little.

"But I finally did it. I finally reopened it. When I had to have more, when being his friend just wasn't enough, I told him. And he loves me. He loves me for who I am, for all my mistakes, for running away from him when you died, for keeping him at arms-length… he loves me, Granny. I don't know how to do this, but I am. I'm not even gonna say I'm going to try… I just am."

She chuckled. "Do or do not, there is no try. God, he's got me speaking nerd. And the best part… the _best_ part…" She smiled through the tears. "He's my best friend. He still is. He knows everything about me, and doesn't even care about all the stuff about me that I hate. Do you know I had to fill out his W-9 at work, for him? He couldn't remember some of his own personal details, and I had to." She shook her head.

"He said we weren't ready back then, and I've been thinking about what you told me. 'When you have to have more.' I think he's right. I don't know, but we're together. I love you. I miss you. I _really_ could have used your help all those years, but I know what you would have said." She put her hand over her heart. "Follow you heart. It's what you would have said. I am, Granny."

She started to get up. "You were right, you know. He sang in front of me. He thinks he doesn't sound good, but Granny… it was like the angels were singing. I love you." Sarah stood, brushed off her jeans and headed toward the car. She opened the door and got in.

"How about a nap?" Chuck asked, starting the car. "We've both been working our tails off, and we probably need some sleep."

"Fine with me," Sarah said, grateful to him. She turned on the radio, and her mouth dropped at the song, and it would have dropped even further if it could have.

_Birds flying high_

_You know how I feel_

"I know it's old, but there's something about this song," Chuck said, after singing along to the opening line. "It could be my favorite… I have so many." He turned to her. "What about you?

"I think I have just one, and I've found it," she replied. Chuck nodded, and drove, oblivious to what she meant.

}o{

He felt a gentle poke in his ribs. "Five more minutes, Sarah," he said, his voice crackling from sleep.

"I'm gonna tell you a secret. I always loved waking up next to you, because I love hearing your voice when you first wake up," Sarah said, snuggling against him.

"Well, now you can, every morning," Chuck replied. He felt her shift and played back the words he just spoke. He slowly opened his eyes to see her grinning.

"Did you just ask me to move in?"

"Kind of sounds that way, doesn't it?" he replied. "Or would you rather I move in with you?" She pulled back a little, the grin intensifying. "Or, are we gonna play that game where we _pretend_ we're not living together, but we stay the night at each other apartments all the time? Because, woman, you know I have no shame. Now that we're together, I need to wake up next to you."

"I'll move in," she said, lightly kissing him. "I need to tell you something, and I would have this morning, but it might have ruined the mood." Chuck sat up, curious. "Do you remember Sebastien?"

Chuck rolled his eyes. "Did he have a man bun, and was very pretty?"

"Mmhmm," Sarah replied. "Do you remember I said he could write his own book?" She was smirking.

"Are you about to tell me I need to go get lessons from him?" Chuck was grinning at her. He was wondering where this was going, because he knew her, and she wouldn't say that to him.

She leaned forward and nipped at his chin. "He needs lessons from you."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him as he fell back. She wiggled against him, making him loosen his grip as his eyes rolled back in his head a bit. "STOP! We have to get to my parents, and your mom, and… Ellie…"

"Just now hit you, huh?" Sarah asked, raising her eyebrows. "How are we going to handle this?"

"I have a cold, or the flu, or… or a spastic colon?" She cocked her head to the side, amused. "Wait, first thing, you know this isn't about you, it's just… well… uh… see…"

"Your mom and sister have been on you for years about us being together?"

"Oh, God, you too?" Sarah nodded. "Second, my sister's a doctor, and the _last_ thing I need is for her to demand to do a full physical or something."

"Devon would probably do it," Sarah offered.

"That would not be awesome, that would _so_not be awesome, at all." Sarah snickered. "I'm just gonna do what I always do, follow your lead."

"Together," she said, pulling him in close.

}o{

"Did you two have your normal pre-birthday night celebration last night?" Ellie asked Chuck and Sarah.

"It was a little different this year," Sarah said, smirking, nearly making Chuck choke on the food. "Mary, how do you make this better every year?"

"Bartowski secret. You'd have to be one. Sorry, Sarah," Ellie said, giving them a pointed look.

Sarah turned to Chuck. "I'm calling in the marker from when we were kids," Sarah said, making everyone laugh, knowing their marriage deal as teenagers.

"Already married, remember?" Chuck began, making everyone laugh more. "But if that's a proposal, I accept," he replied, taking another bite. Everyone's laughter died down. He winked at Sarah and she smirked at him. "What's wrong?" Chuck asked, looking innocent.

"Bro," Devon began, looking around, making sure he wasn't out of place. Remembering he was considered one of them, he did what Devon did best, and just plowed ahead. "That sounded flirty."

"We've done this for a while," Sarah replied, shrugging. "I mean, tonight's new." Emma set her fork down, watching her daughter, a look of hope beginning to dawn on her face.

Sarah let that hang, and turned back toward Mary. "So is my wedding from way back when good enough for you, or do I have to go out and elope with him?" Mary stared at her, wondering where the worried woman, from not that long ago, had gone.

"Wait," Ellie began, as Chuck and Sarah began laughing. Ellie mocked glared at them. "I hate you both." Mary, however, continued to study them. Emma looked over at Mary, and the two began to grin as they watched their children. Sarah looked over at Chuck, who gave her the slightest head nod.

"Ellie, we've only been dating a day, not even twenty-four hours. I think marriage is a bit much," Sarah said, grinning at her. Ellie's eyes went wide.

"So, wait a week?" Chuck asked.

"Two," Sarah replied. "Holding out for better offers." Chuck began to laugh, but Sarah turned to him, serious. "I'm sorry, there would be no better offers, no matter who asked." Chuck smiled at her, and she gave him _his_ smile.

"Oh my God," Ellie said softly. Sarah quickly reached in her pants pocket, handing Chuck a pair of ear plugs, another to Emma, then Devon, then Mary, and finally Stephen. "Oh my God," she said a little louder. Everyone else inserted their earplugs.

}o{

"Listen, I've got an early morning tomorrow, some of us aren't off work like you two," Ellie teased.

"Yeah, we've just been working our butts of getting the game out." Ellie tilted her head and gave him a look, forcing him to reconsider what he was comparing. "Right, right, you save lives, I give people carpal tunnel." Ellie smiled, and hugged him.

"I'm so happy for you little brother," she said into his ear, squeezing him. She let him go and caught Sarah in a bear hug, one she reciprocated. "It's about time little sister," she said, squeezing her arms as she pulled away. "So, what I was saying until sassy pants here interrupted," she turned and gave him a look. "Lunch Saturday, the three of us. Because I have several years of 'I told you so's' to say, and I need to hear what finally pushed you over the edge."

"My nosy sister stayed out of it," Chuck muttered. She gave him a shove, hugged him again, and then pulled Sarah in, and suddenly Devon crashed into the three of them.

"So awesome you're on my team now," Sarah. Everyone looked at him. "The Not The Bartowskis."

"She's been an honorary Bartowski for a while now, Devon, nearly fifteen years," Mary said. "And so are you, son."

Devon caught Mary in a hug. "Thanks, Mom." Ellie's eyes went wide. Sarah joined in the hug. "Thanks, Mom," she said. Chuck's smile grew, and Ellie's eyes went wider. Mary chuckled at the two siblings.

"Okay, just so that I'm not confused," Stephen said, coming in and joining them. "No one's getting married anytime soon?"

Chuck and Sarah looked at each other. Sarah chewed on her bottom lip. "Don't know if after a day that we're ready for that, Dad," Chuck replied.

"Dear, I love you, but good God," Mary muttered, leading a protesting Stephen away.

}o{

"Mom, can we talk?" Sarah asked. Emma smiled at her daughter, and the two went out to the back patio. "I was an awful child," she began.

"No, I put a lot on you, you went through a lot, and maybe I blamed you for some of it," Emma replied.

Sarah went and hugged her mother. "No, I did things wrong. I blamed everyone, and you didn't deserve so much of what I did. I'm sorry… please forgive me." Emma crossed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug.

"Nothing to forgive, Sweetie. We go forward, like you two, okay?"

"Okay," she said, letting out a sigh.

Emma pulled away, holding Sarah's shoulders. "Tell me the truth, is it all you hoped for?" Emma asked.

"It's more than I could ever dream of," Sarah replied. "I'm going to move in with him."

"Then Saturday, I'll be there to help you move… oh, and we'll tell the Bartowskis. You know they'll help," Emma said. She looked at Sarah, catching herself. "Sorry, I'm probably overstepping-"

Sarah hugged her again. "No, Mom, you're not. And I need you to be a part of everything going forward, if you'd like."

"I would," she replied, tears of joy in her eyes.

}o{

"You're welcome," Stephen said.

He, Mary, and Chuck were sitting in the living room. Chuck looked at his dad. "I knew her getting away would make you two figure things out."

Chuck looked at his dad, and then at his mom. "Is he… is he saying he did that… I can't even… Mom?"

"Stephen, dear, what the hell did you do?" Mary asked

"I split them up as adults, so they'd figure out what they mean to each other," Stephen said proudly. Chuck stared at him, bug-eyed. "What?"

"Stephen, do you know your son was going to tell her that he loved her that morning, but she said she had this perfect opportunity, with no boyfriend, to go to Europe?" Chuck gave her a look. He had never told her that. Mary rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Chuck. You had to know Ellie and I talked about you two."

"Wait," Stephen muttered.

"Dad, I'm not mad, just… quit helping, okay?" Mary burst into laughter, and tried to quell it as she saw Sarah returning, her eyebrow raised.

"Dad tried to help by sending you to Europe, so we'd see what we mean to each other." Stephen looked sheepish. Sarah walked up to Stephen and kissed him on the cheek.

"It's not your fault we're so dysfunctional," Sarah told him, squeezing his arm.

"So, what our children failed to share was they are moving in together," Emma began.

"Makes sense… they've been together their whole lives, about time they accepted it," Mary said.

Emma smiled at her. "So, Saturday we help them?"

"Crap, what about Ellie?" Sarah asked. "She wanted to have lunch with Chuck and I."

"I think she's off Friday as well… let me check and I'll let you know, but there is no way I won't be a part of this," Mary said, beaming.

"You can help too… Dad," Sarah said, looking at Stephen fondly.

"Don't think I'll screw anything up?" he asked with a grin.

Sarah looked at Chuck. "No," she replied. She faced Mary. "As long as I talk to him, we can get through anything. Mary grabbed her, and pulled her into a hug. Chuck looked at his dad, who shrugged.

}o{

She opened the door to his apartment like she always did. She'd had a key from the first day he moved in, and he had one for hers. She turned toward him as he shut the door, shoving him against it. "Happy birthday, Chuck," she said sultrily. She pushed him against the door, kissing him as if it was her job.

"Second-best birthday ever!" Chuck exclaimed, as she moved away. She began to shake as she laughed, giving him an amused look.

"Chuck, that was some random dude in a Darth Vader outfit," Sarah said, putting her hands on her hips. "You're telling me _that_ was better than _this_?"

"I mean, adult Chuck says no, this is better… 11-year-old Chuck…" He pressed his lips together and widened his eyes, making her laugh.

She moved close, her lips inches from her ear. "The best I can do is dress in the Princess Leia metal bikini costume." Chuck blinked, his mind unable to process those words. "You do remember that one, don't you? From Return of the Jedi?"

"Best birthday ever," he choked out. She laughed at him, put her hand affectionately on his chest. "What's wrong?"

"Give me five minutes, okay?" Chuck nodded, and she headed out the door. A few minutes later she was back, holding some paper. She looked extremely nervous.

"I'm sorry," he said, breaking the silence

"For what?" she asked, snapped out of her worries.

"For taking so long to trust you with my biggest secret," Chuck said softly. "For not believing in us. For not telling you I love you all those times I realized it."

"I need you not to say those things right now, okay?"

"Can't resist me, can you?" Chuck asked.

"No," she said seriously. "And I never could." Chuck's mouth was open. "You had no idea how many times I _wished_ you would just push us, one inch further, and then…" She took a deep breath. "From this point forward, no secrets, no lies. We've told each other everything else, but this… we can't." He nodded. She backed away and held up one finger. She walked over to his bookshelf and pulled out a worn-out comic. It was the one she gave him for the first birthday she had known him. She handed it to him, a grin on her face. Chuck opened it, and a card fell out. He bent down to get it, seeing her handwriting. He opened it, and read the letter.

_Chuck,_

_For your birthday__,__ I'm going to give you __something different…__ I'm giving you the truth. I love you. Not just as my best friend, but I love you. I can't bring myself to tell you to your face__,__ because I'm scared. What if you don't feel the same way about me? What if you don't want to try__,__ because it could ruin what we have? I left this here because I know today, like every year, you'll pull this comic out and read it. It's your call, Buddy. Whatever you decide, I love you._

_Sarah_

Chuck looked up at her, tears in his eyes. "You know I don't really like Care Bears, right?"

"Chuck, for God's sake. I was eight, it was a comic book. How many times do I have to apologize?" They both smiled at the running joke, now in its fifteenth year. "This actually started…" She looked down at the papers in her hand. "Here."

Chuck took the original letters, and read. Tears were in his eyes, and he pulled her in with one arm, holding her as he continued to read. When he finished, he kissed her on the forehead.

"I don't have any letters, but I understand all of this." Sarah nodded. "Together?"

"Together," she replied, kissing him. "Now, I have one more thing to do, and then we're going to bed, and I will need maximum cuddles, Chuck."

"Okay," Chuck replied.

"I might get handsy," Sarah admitted.

Chuck leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. "I hate to break it to you, but you've always been handsy."

"You liked it."

"Yeah, I did, and I do." She looked into his eyes and neither saw the fear that they expected to be there. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry," he began. "I'm sorry for taking so long to trust you with my biggest secret," Chuck said softly. "For not believing in us. For not telling you I love you all those times I realized it."

She kissed him, pulled away, walked over to the cupboard and opened the door where one cupcake sat.

"I've already got one today," Chuck pointed out.

"Today I thought you deserved two," she said with a shrug and a smile.

"That sounds dirty."

"Maybe I meant for it to," she said, smirking. She held the cupcake out.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Come on back next time. Family? Where do they go from here? Marriage? Would I marry them? Does a bear defecate in arboreal regions?


	18. Ch 18, 24th Birthday

A/N: I see you all needed those chapters the same way I did. I plan on keeping this going for a bit. How long, I don't know. I know through Birthday 31, because I have something planned for that one. I do for several more but I'm gonna have to figure out plot for a couple of others. Housekeeping. Brain shut down this weekend, this could be it for the week as beta is on vacy. Also, if you're not reading A Spy in the House of Chuck, go. Go now. It's GOOOOOOOOOOOOD. When you finish that, get you a something comfortable to sit on and go read Zettel's western Heaven and Hell. I'm making the fixin's and you can listen to him weave his yarn under the stars. When that's done, stop by the local diner and see what Joe Watkins is up to in The Waitress. Once you leave pick up a copy of The Rough Draft Season 2 by Marc Vunn Cannon, and be sure to checkin on WillieGarvin each Saturday with his tale, Chuck vs A New Day. I'm sure I forgot someone, and if I did I apologize. It's almost the anniversary again. How'd that happen? On with our tale.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

Sarah woke up, alone. She raised her head, irritation covering her face, but then she smelled coffee. She sniffed the air, grabbed one of Chuck's t-shirts and a pair of shorts, and headed towards the kitchen. Sarah rounded the corner and saw him standing there, studying the front room.

"You don't have to do that, you know," Chuck said softly, still looking at the shelves.

"Don't have to do what?"

"Find excuses to stare at my ass anymore," he replied with a smirk. She smirked as she walked up to him, pinching his backside, making him jump. "Woman!"

"Yes," she replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey," he began, turning towards her, wrapping his arms around her. "Is it okay that I'm stupidly excited about telling people I'm your boyfriend? I am, right?"

"Oh, absolutely," Sarah said, bopping his nose. "Are you okay when I tell people that we're… _together_?"

Chuck swallowed thickly, then took a drink of coffee. "I am so okay with that," he choked out. The phone rang, and Sarah answered it. She talked a few moments and came back to him, biting her bottom lip.

"That was Ellie," she said. "She wants to do brunch."

"Oh, God," Chuck muttered.

}o{

"You two owe me _so_ much," Ellie said. Sarah snorted, and Chuck looked at her, his eyes wide. "Don't even," she warned. "You two went out of your way to be stupid. Like sophomore year, how many guys did you go out with?" she asked, pointing her fork at Sarah.

"I have no idea. I didn't sleep with them though… except Justin, I guess we were dating…"

"He did want you to meet Mother and Father," Chuck said, doing his best to do a proper Justin voice.

Sarah snorted, and smacked his shoulder affectionately. "I was the third wheel," Sarah admitted, making Chuck turn to her, an understanding look on his face. "I was trying to find anyone to have a spark with. Justin… he was a good guy. I thought he was a guy I could have a real relationship with."

"When did you know you couldn't?" Ellie asked.

"He was talking about how adults should be watching proper films, and not these _space movies_." Chuck thumped his drink down in mock outrage, making her laugh. "It would never work."

"Honey, no matter who you found, it would never work," Ellie said.

"I mean, I know that now," Sarah groused. Ellie turned her eyes to Chuck, smiling. Chuck groaned. "I'm gonna enjoy this," Sarah muttered.

"And you, you overgrown idiot," Ellie began.

"Eep," Chuck squeaked.

"How many times did I _tell_ you to tell her? I mean after the prom-"

"I promised I wouldn't," Chuck retorted.

"You really should have," Sarah said, grinning.

"And you should have," Ellie said, turning from one to the other. They both sat back a little. "I have, for fifteen _loooooooooong_ years, watched this dance of the dumbasses. And I'm telling you two, I'm going to tell you _exactly_ how sick and tired of it I was. Sleeping together… how? I'm serious, _how could you not know_?"

"She kept saying we couldn't," Chuck answered. Sarah gave him a look. "You did!"

"I did," Sarah admitted. "But you told Ellie we could never be more than friends."

"WHA?!" Chuck asked, his mouth open in shock.

"It was after I came back, I overheard you telling Ellie that we could never be more than friends," Sarah insisted.

"Pause," Ellie said holding her hand out at Chuck. "What did you do next?"

Sarah took a deep breath. "I went to the bathroom and cried, because I knew he could never trust me again, and that's why we had to stay apart." She looked at him. "I'm so sorry. I knew you had to hate me."

"But I didn't… I don't… I'm so confused," Chuck said, looking at Ellie.

"I told you, you big dumb nerd," Ellie said, looking like she could punch him in the shoulder. She turned to Sarah, a sad smile on her face. "Sarah… he thought he wasn't enough for _you_, and that he could never make you happy. That was the next thing he said." Sarah turned to him, her eyes wide.

"Oh, Chuck," she said softly. "You are the best thing for me, and I've never thought I've been good enough for you."

"You know what, before you two do this, I'm going to play butting-in-older-sister, so deal with it," she said, scaring each of them a little. "You are _both perfect_ for the other one, so if I _ever_ hear you say the words again…" She trailed off, and gave both the evil eye. "Do we understand each other?"

"Perfectly," Chuck said. "That's what Sarah is for me, and how much I understand you."

"Absolutely perfect," Sarah added.

"Good," Ellie said, smiling. The two relaxed. "So, when's the wedding?"

Chuck nearly dropped his glass of water.

}o{

The ride home was quiet, both thinking. Sarah quickly pulled the car off the road into a big box department store parking lot. Chuck looked over and saw the Buy More. "Do you need some electronics?" he asked.

"No, what I need to do, right now, is clear the air with you and not do our normal dance," Sarah replied. "I'm not ready to get married today, but when I am, it will be to you. I know that. I know you are it, and I know you… you'll want to have kids, and that scares the SHIT out of me. But Chuck, if you think I'm good enough, then I am."

"That may be the most you have ever said about your feelings," Chuck said with a grin. "Sarah, I'm not ready… but what you said, is what I feel."

"You don't look as relieved as I feel," Sarah told him.

"You're moving into my apartment," Chuck said. "I want it to be _our_ apartment."

"When I went to college, did I have a lot?"

"No," Chuck admitted.

"I had one thing," she said, taking his hands. "You. You're my home."

"Then let's make this _our_ home, _our_ place, not mine, not yours, _ours_."

"Okay," Sarah chirped.

}o{

Saturday came, and the entire family showed up to help Sarah move. Things were progressing smoothly, until Ellie found Sarah's VCR tape of their wedding. "Really you two, you both kept them?" she asked, grinning.

"When are you and Awesome taking the plunge?" Chuck asked. Sarah twisted her lips to keep from laughing, as Ellie stormed out.

"Well done, Son," Mary said, coming through the living room. "You do it on your time."

"Just don't take too much time, right Mary?" Emma asked.

"Let me guess, is this the grandkids comments?" Chuck asked the two women.

"You better believe it," Emma replied.

"Guess we need to practice," Chuck said to Sarah. Emma's eyes went wide, and she bolted from the room.

"Probably wasn't the best thing to say to your future mother-in-law," Sarah said softly. Mary smiled at Sarah. "That probably wasn't the best thing for me to say in front of my future mother-in-law."

"I can't think of anything better," Mary said, shrugging, and heading to get another load. Sarah stood there, fighting back tears.

}o{

They returned to work after a bit, because they were together, and as long as they were together, that was all they cared about. Chuck was typing when he felt two hands snake around his waist, and warm breath at his ear. "Out of curiosity, is this sexual harassment?" he heard her breathe.

He shivered a little. "It's not, because that has to be unwanted."

"So, you're saying this is wanted?" she asked, kissing his neck.

"Uh," she heard, and raised her head to glare at Bryce. "I was told to come down here," he said quickly.

"Who told you that?" she bit off.

"Umm, I did," Chuck said. He wiped his hands on his pants as Sarah pulled away. He cleared his throat. "You two need to talk." He stood up, but a hand was on his shoulder from behind, pushing him down. "Fine, _we_ need to talk." Sarah stood there, arms crossed.

"I did a terrible thing by not breaking up with you, and cheating on you," Bryce began. "Regardless of what you two felt, you never did anything inappropriate."

Sarah stood there, giving a slight nod. "Thank you," she said softly.

"I've got more, if you'd like to hear the why," he continued. "It's not an excuse, I just need you to understand." He paused waiting for her to tell him to go on or stop. She gave another slight head nod, and he continued. "I felt into a trap in Europe… we both did." The frown on her face lessened.

Bryce turned to Chuck. "And, I tried to ignore everything I saw between you two here," he said pointing at them. "I mean, he kept insisting you weren't together, which you weren't." Chuck nodded. "But… you were," he continued. "And we were in Europe, close, really close, working together." Bryce looked over at Chuck. "You of all people should understand.

"Like how I tried to trick myself with Zondra?" Chuck asked. Bryce nodded.

"And, I wasn't near Chuck," Sarah admitted. "_If_ it was just us…."

"I mean, we can play what if, but you know, and I know, it still wouldn't have worked." Bryce looked over at Chuck. "I wasn't you." He turned back to Sarah. "When I got back and saw you two, at your birthday… I shouldn't have stayed that night. We only saw each other, what, a handful of times, and even then…"

"Even then there really wasn't anything," Sarah admitted.

"Wait, are you saying that you didn't-"

"Yes," Sarah and Bryce said at the same time and both grinned at each other, the ridiculousness of it starting to be put behind them.

"I was traveling a lot. And when I was home, I'd doze off, even if I was on a date with her," Bryce said with a shrug. "I think she spent the night twice during that time, and both times… both times I fell asleep."

Chuck turned his head away, snorting. Sarah smacked his arm good-naturedly.

"We were broken-up, but neither had the courage to admit it," Bryce said. "I went out that night I got home. Usually I would just go to bed, but that night… that night I was tired of what we were doing and… I didn't go looking," Bryce said, turning to Sarah. "But, God, I was lonely, Sarah."

"I know," Sarah said, huffing out a breath. "And that's on me for not just ending it."

"No, it's on us for both of us, trying to make it work when there was never a shot," Bryce said. He turned to Chuck. "In Europe, it was… fun."

"I don't need descriptions," Chuck told him.

"Buddy, you don't understand, it was… nothing." He turned to Sarah. "Correct me if I'm wrong."

"I want to, but that would be a lie," she admitted.

"I've been there," Chuck said softly.

Bryce nodded. "So, when I saw Jill," he began.

"Jill Roberts, from Stanford?" Chuck asked, his mouth dropping.

"Yeah," Bryce said, grinning. "I thought… I'm not proud of this, but…" He took a deep breath. "I thought how in the hell is it fair that they get to be together, but I can't be with anyone?"

"It wasn't," Sarah said in a small voice. She lifted her head and looked him in the eye. "It wasn't," she repeated, very clearly. "I'm not happy with the way you did things," she began.

"I was an asshole the way I did things, Sarah," Bryce cut in. "I cannot apologize enough. I cannot say I am proud, but I was hurt, I had my own pride and… well… I was only thinking about me."

She held her hand out. Bryce looked at Chuck, who grinned and nodded. Bryce hugged her, surprising her, but she returned it, and Chuck hugged them both. "I am so happy for you two," Bryce said softly. "I'm so sorry I stopped you two from getting together… _multiple_ times."

"Bryce, it was us… there was a good chance we'd have found our own way to screw things up," Sarah admitted. "We good?"

"Yeah," Bryce said, nodding. "We're good." Bryce turned to Chuck and clapped him on the arm. "It's about damn time, buddy."

"Yeah, it is," he said, smiling at Sarah.

}o{

Thanksgiving afternoon, Chuck was asleep on the couch in a middle of a tryptophan coma. Sarah was watching Ellie and Devon, when she felt someone sit down beside her.

"I know what you're doing," Mary said, sipping a glass of wine. "You're trying to figure out how to be a better girlfriend."

"How do you know these things?" Sarah asked.

"Former spy," Mary replied with a shrug. "Have you told Chuck about that?"

"No, it's your secret to share; plus he'd break, or pass out, or something, mumbling about James Bond," Sarah replied. Mary snorted.

"See, that right there," Mary said, making Sarah turn towards her. "You don't need lessons, just be Chuck's Sarah, and make sure he's Sarah's Chuck." She glanced at Ellie and Devon. "The only thing you'd learn from those two is how to be the best partner for one of those two."

"Then why do I feel like this, like I'm not enough for him?" Sarah asked.

"Because you haven't forgiven yourself," Mary replied, shrugging.

"Yes, I have," Sarah insisted.

"Sarah, do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to be with him?"

"Yes."

"Can you really see yourself with anyone else?"

"No, never."

Mary shrugged. "What's left?" she asked. Sarah stared for a minute. "What haven't you forgiven? Leaving?"

"How do I ever forgive myself for that?" Sarah asked softly.

Mary put her arm around her, and looked over at the couch at Chuck. "You came back for-" and she snorted, as her son had a particularly loud snore at that moment- "…well, that."

"I'm glad I did," Sarah replied.

"You didn't have to," Mary reminded her.

"No, I did!" Sarah insisted. Mary was smiling at her. "I did," Sarah said softly. "I had to come back, because I couldn't do it without him, and isn't that selfish?"

"Yes, it's _so_ selfish to come back to someone you love, because your life is falling apart," Mary said, taking a drink of wine.

"Okay, that was sarcasm," Sarah said. She sighed. "I'm lucky you think I'm perfect for your son; otherwise, your bill would be astronomical."

"Sarah," Mary said, putting down the glass, looking her in the eye. "I'm doing this for you. I'd do this regardless, whether you were in love with Chuck, or not. People were there for me, and I'd be a hypocrite not to help others. You still don't get it. I love you, for _you_. For being that fighter. Sarah, you are a Bartwoski forever, regardless of what happens between you and Chuck. Do you understand that?" Sarah nodded, crying. "I don't think you do, but that's okay. I promise… you will."

Mary pulled her into a hug, and then jumped as a rather loud snore scared them both. They looked over and saw it wasn't Chuck, but Stephen. "We both came back for who we love." Sarah nodded. "Regardless of how exciting they are Thanksgiving afternoon." Sarah laughed. "Wine?"

"Please!" Sarah said, following Mary into the kitchen.

}o{

"What are you doing?" Chuck asked in a raspy voice. It was the end of January and all was well with Chuck and Sarah. Their first Christmas together had been so fluffy, it was like it was written in a book that emphasized happy endings. Chuck had been fighting against coming down with something for days, and Sarah knew last night, as he finally drifted off to sleep, he wasn't going into work.

"I just told your father you were sick. If you want me to, I'll go in, or I can stay here with you and get you better," Sarah replied.

"Babe, as much as I'd like to, I'm not on top of my game right now," Chuck said with a grin.

"Chuck, it wasn't a euphemism. I'm here for you. This is about me taking care of you, the same way I used to before we started dating. Remember?"

"Nope," Chuck replied with a grin, and laid back on the pillow. "Why don't you tell me about them."

She shook her head at him, smiling. "I made you soup in 10th grade," she reminded him.

"Yes, you did, I remember that," Chuck said, nodding.

"The night you drank too much in college after Zondra left?" she reminded him.

"Why did you stay with me? It wasn't like you needed to hold my hair."

"I hate seeing you hurt," Sarah said, shrugging.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm glad I did," Chuck said, shutting his eyes and resting. His eyes popped open. "And no cracks on yourself… We're past that."

"Okay," she said, a small smile on her face. "You were you," she said softly. Chuck turned to her and she shrugged. "You just loved me, and never judged me."

"I'm so glad I did."

}o{

On her birthday everyone was busy, so Chuck took her to dinner at their favorite Mexican restaurant. About halfway through, she noticed how anxious and nervous he seemed.

"You okay?" she asked, taking his sweaty hand into hers.

"Yeah," Chuck said, with a smile. "I'm just sorry no one else is here to celebrate with you."

"Chuck, you're here. What else do I need?"

"You mean that?" he asked, and she sat back, surprised. "I didn't say that right…" He gulped down water, and wiped his hands on his pants after. "This whole thing we did for years, and now we're together… are you sure? Are you sure you're not doing this because you think you should, because, after everything, we _have_ to be together? I know how I feel, but I need complete honesty right now. How do _you_ feel?"

She studied him, and saw how serious he was. She reached over and took his hand. "I would wade through hell for you," she said, her gaze never breaking with his. "I have never been so happy in my life. I love you so much, and Chuck, you are my best friend. Nothing has changed. We keep making the same inappropriate jokes with each other that we have for years. We keep making fun of people we don't like, we still snuggle watching movies-"

"I don't remember you kissing me this much back then," Chuck cut in, with a grin.

"Because I was clearly an idiot," Sarah retorted. "Chuck, this ends one way: With us together, 'til death do us part."

"Wow… that's… that's ah… does that mean what I think it means?"

"Ask and find out, Buddy," she said, with a smirk.

"Maybe I will," he retorted, picking up his fork.

"Maybe you should," she said shrugging. They both ate in silence, smiling.

}o{

They were walking back into the courtyard when Sarah noticed something strange. White lights were hanging in the courtyard. "Chuck, this wasn't this way when we left."

"No, it wasn't," he said, his voice sounding a bit strangled. "Uh, Sarah," he said, and when she turned to him, he was there kneeling on one knee.

"Next year, well, we both know the promise we made, so I thought I might ask you before you were required to accept by law." Her hands were over her mouth, trying to calm herself. "Sarah Lisa Walker, will you please make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?"

"Yes," she said, grabbing his hands and pulling him up. She went to kiss him as he tried to put the ring on her, and they smacked foreheads. They were both laughing as cheers filled the courtyard. He slid the ring on her finger, and then she grabbed him by his shirt. "FYI, Buddy… you are mine from here on out."

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Sarah," he replied as she kissed him.

}o{

Sarah was inside the apartment, watching Ellie, Devon, and Chuck talk excitedly. She felt maternal presences on either side. "I don't care what either of you say, I'm marrying him."

"Damn right you are," Mary replied.

"I was just going to ask how this works, you know, since you're already married to him," Emma said with a smirk.

"Out of curiosity, did you two help Devon set up the lights as Ellie gave orders, or did you hide and observe like you always do?" Sarah asked.

"We do not hide," Mary said, faux disgust in her voice.

"More of a blend in to our surroundings," Emma added.

"They sit around and critique everyone," Stephen said, walking by. All three were a little surprised by him.

}o{

Chuck opened his eyes the morning of his birthday, staring into two pools of blue. Her hands were crossed on his chest, and her chin resting on it. She had given him his comic last night. "I feel this is special."

"First birthday saying happy birthday to my finance," Sarah replied.

"And the last?"

"Yes, Chuck, we're getting married in May," Sarah said. "It just seems right, like we're supposed to. Now if you'll excuse me."

She jumped up and Chuck couldn't help but watch all the legs that disappeared out the door. He _did_ like it when she wore his shirts. She came back in holding the cupcake in her hand.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Aw, wedding bells in the future...right? RIGHT? EDC WHAT ARE YOU DOING?


	19. Ch 19, 25th Birthday

A/N: We good? Happy tears from here on out, right? RIGHT?

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

Chuck walked down the grocery store aisle beside Sarah, humming to himself. "Are you sure you're okay with regular corn flakes?" Sarah asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Chuck responded.

"Because while I love you, I have to admit you're a grown child that likes his sugary breakfast cereals."

"Who needs sugar, when I have you at my side each morning?" he said with a grin.

"Really?" Sarah inquired, shaking her head. "Some of your jokes lately… it's like you don't care, and I'm feeling a little hurt."

"Sorry, got a lot on my mind with the new game coming out."

"It's like… it's like now that we're together, you're not even trying," Sarah said, with a fake sob. "I'm not even worth the time for you to think of a bad joke."

"A piece of toast and a hard-boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here.'"

Sarah blinked. "Okay, I was-"

Chuck continued, "What does the cannibal get after a one-night stand? Breakfast in bed!"

"Okay, that was just terrible."

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing," Chuck said, with a grin.

"That last one wasn't really a breakfast joke," Sarah pointed out. She stopped and looked around. "You ever feel like someone's watching you?" she asked, turning back to Chuck.

"The name of the song is _Somebody's Watching Me_," Chuck said. Sarah gave him a flat look. "See, there's the line… same place it was when we weren't dating."

"Chuck… we both know there _is_ no line," she said, a grin on her face.

"There you are," they heard a female voice say. They both looked up, and saw a redheaded woman walking toward them. "_There's_ the man that gave me the best night of my life." Sarah raised her eyebrows and turned towards Chuck, who looked surprised.

"That's impressive, considering you've been with me every night for a long time," she muttered where only Chuck could hear. He grinned at Sarah, and turned back toward the approaching woman. "I know her," Sarah muttered.

The redhead walked up, and flung her arm around him. "I see you've still not told her how you really feel," the woman said, looking down at Sarah's engagement ring. She turned to Chuck. Sarah continued to watch, amused. "She's about to marry some guy she doesn't love."

"She doesn't?" Chuck asked.

"Nope," the redhead replied. Chuck looked at Sarah who shrugged as if to say _what can you do?_ "She has pity sex with the poor guy… it's probably the worst sex she's ever had."

"I'm so sorry," Chuck said to Sarah.

"She has a perfect game going," Sarah said softly.

"You need to tell her you love her," the redhead insisted.

"I love you," Chuck said to Sarah.

"I know," Sarah replied, and Chuck thought he might faint.

"No, you need to tell her you don't just _friend_ love her, but really, _really_ love… love her."

"Did you just _Return of the Jedi_ me?" Chuck asked, ignoring the redhead.

"I did," Sarah replied. "And if you're lucky, I'll put on the bikini later and really _Return of the Jedi_ you." Chuck looked like he might faint, again.

"I'm so confused," the redhead said.

"Mini?" Sarah asked.

"You remembered!" Mini replied.

"Mini!" they heard a male voice yell. They looked down the aisle.

"Is that Jimmy?" Chuck asked.

"Wow, he grew up," Sarah said, the appreciation apparent in her voice.

"See?" Mini said to Chuck.

"Oh for crying out loud, he looks good. I can appreciate that, and he won't get jealous. I'm a one-man woman for the rest of my life." With that, she tugged Chuck toward her, and kissed him soundly. She let him go, and looked at Mini. "I'm marrying him in May."

Mini was snapping her fingers in front of Chuck, but there was no response, just a goofy grin. "About time you two figured it out." She snapped her fingers again. "Did you break him?"

"Probably thinking about that _Return of the Jedi_ bikini when I kissed him. He'll reboot in a minute. If not…" and with that she put her lips next to his ear, and whispered something. Chuck shook his head, and smiled at everyone.

"What did you say to him?" Mini asked. Sarah just grinned.

}o{

"Okay, I'm sorry," Mini said, as the four sat down for lunch. "In my defense, you two looked the same with each other as you did back then, so I just assumed you weren't together."

"Or maybe they were then, and never realized it," Jimmy added. Chuck and Sarah both winced. "Hey, no, I didn't mean that as a shot… you two just literally didn't understand what was going on between you, and for whatever reason you both believed it was friendship."

"I'm really sorry, Jimmy," Sarah said. "I-I… I made some interesting choices back then."

"So, what was the problem?" Mini asked.

Sarah shifted in her seat. "I never told her how I actually felt," Chuck said quickly, to try and take pressure off her. He felt her hand on his forearm and looked over at her, the smile on her face showing she knew what he was doing.

"I ran away from my life one summer, and I was selfish," Sarah began. "Or so I thought. I'm working with someone on that, to better understand it." Chuck glanced at her, but left that alone. "I'd lost a lot, and thought if I lost him…"

"I get that," Jimmy said softly. Sarah looked up at him, surprised. Jimmy shrugged. "Sarah, when I tried to join in with you-and-Chuck time, or want more time… it was a no-go. And when you didn't see him for a bit… I got to see how unhappy you were. I was too young to really understand what I was feeling, or what you were going through. All I know is I wanted to date you…" he glanced at Chuck.

"And not both of us," Chuck finished for him. Jimmy nodded. "Kind'a became a reoccurring issue in our dating life."

"Am I the maid of honor?" Mini asked. Sarah gave her a look. "Never hurts to ask," Mini answered shrugging, with a grin.

}o{

"Why are we meeting Mini at a club?" Chuck asked.

"Because we haven't gone dancing in a while," Sarah replied. "And I get to take you home, and do to you what I wanted to all those times."

"We could just go home now," Chuck offered.

"The best sauce is hunger," Sarah said, as she walked to the bar looking for Mini. An arm slung around his waist, and Chuck whipped his head around.

"She was a fool for not recognizing how sexy you are," Mini said to him in a sultry voice. Sarah had turned, and saw Mini. She narrowed her eyes and walked back towards him. "You don't mind if I dance with him, do you? I mean, you have him all night, and we both know he's not going to do anything inappropriate."

"Fine with me," Sarah said, trying to keep her voice neutral, but realizing she did a terrible job.

"You know, I'm feeling a cramp," Chuck began. Mini began to drag him to the dance floor. "Sarah!"

"It's fine, Chuck," she said, standing there watching them.

"She's a bitch sometimes," Jimmy said beside her. Sarah hadn't heard him walk up. "You know what she's doing, right?" Sarah didn't answer. "She is showing you how he felt when we danced together.

"I was terrible to him," Sarah said softly.

"You might have been." Sarah turned to him and Jimmy shrugged. "I don't think you did it on purpose, but…"

"I really hate her," Sarah said, shaking her head, watching Mini try to turn around so that her backside would hit Chuck in the crotch, and Chuck tried to move away.

"Me too," Jimmy said. "She told me that night at the dance, and it hurt, but she was just being blunt." Jimmy looked at her, and then them. "Sometimes too blunt."

"Has she ever been subtle?" Sarah asked.

"No," Jimmy said, as Chuck faked another cramp to get away from Mini.

}o{

A knock on Mary's door pulled her out of her writing. She looked up, and saw Sarah. "Lunch?" Sarah asked. Mary took one look at her face, saved what she was doing, got up, and led Sarah to a nearby, quiet, cafe.

}o{

The waiter left, and before Mary could say a word, Sarah began. "How can he not hate me?"

"Sweetie, what happened?"

"Do you remember Jimmy?" Mary nodded. "His cousin Mini saw us, and assumed because we were acting the same way, we were _still_ the same way." Mary nodded. "Mini invited us dancing, and she started dancing with Chuck and got…"

"You got jealous?" Mary asked with a smile. Sarah nodded. "She made you see how he felt, when you were with Jimmy?" Sarah nodded, words escaping her. "Didn't Chuck have a fairly steady girlfriend?"

"I mean, yeah, but-"

"And you were never jealous?" Mary asked.

"I was, but it was… _different_," Sarah replied. "He was trying to have a relationship."

"Weren't you?" Mary inquired.

"Yes, but-"

"Then why don't you hate him?"

"Because I love him, I could never hate him," Sarah said, trying to keep emotion out of her voice.

"So, why do you think he could ever hate you?" Mary asked softly. Sarah put her head in her hands. "I think the question is, why is this bothering you so much _now_?"

"Because I ruin relationships," Sarah muttered.

"Then swear you won't," Mary said. Sarah looked up at her. "Swear you won't."

"I already have, to him."

"Then believe it." Sarah started to speak. "No, Sarah, listen. I was a damn CIA agent. I have killed people. I have ruined careers. I have no idea how that man loves me, but I have accepted he does. So, either I don't trust him, or I have to accept it."

"Does it get easier?"

"No," Mary admitted. "But you _do_ start to understand, and believe in yourself, your love, and you trust him more than you've ever trusted anyone."

"I already do, on that last one," Sarah said with a shrug.

"Here's the best way I can describe it." Mary rubbed her hands together and put them on the table in front of her, looking Sarah in the eye. "I love Stephen more today than I did yesterday, and that should be impossible. I love him every day with everything I have. What I've learned is each day, my capacity to love him has grown just a little bit. Early on, I would get up at night and get him water if he needed it. Now… he knows where the water is." Sarah snorted. "But I do love him more. It's an impossibility that is so beautiful and sometimes outside of rational understanding."

"I'm going to marry him, I'm going to do everything I can to make him happy every day."

"I know you are," Mary replied. She took Sarah's hands into hers. "You are living a paradox." Sarah frowned. "You trust Chuck, with everything. You have no idea how someone can forgive you for what you've done, including Chuck, but you trust him when he says he loves you, and all of the past is the past."

"The past got thrown in my face a lot as a kid."

"I know, sweetie, I know," Mary said, squeezing her hand. "I lived the same paradox. I heard so often how no one could forgive my past." Mary shook her head. "All I can do is ask you two simple questions." Sarah took a deep breath. "Has Chuck ever shown that you can't trust him on this?"

"No," Sarah said.

"Do you think he's a liar?"

"No, but who knows what might cross-"

"Sarah, don't play that dangerous game. You two worried so much about the past for so long, that you forgot to enjoy the here and now."

Sarah sighed and lowered her head, but squeezed Mary's hands. "Thank you," she said softly.

"I'm always here for you," Mary said. "Always."

}o{

"Sir, is your fiancé really needed for this fitting?" Chuck looked over at Sarah, who was smirking at him.

"First, if she wants to, who am I to tell her no? Second… do you think she'd listen to either of us?" The tailor gave him a look, and sighed.

"Is she happy with this fit?" Chuck looked over at Sarah, who made turn around sign with her finger. Chuck did, and when he got back to her, she was giving him a look. "I think she'd like you to do it slower. Would you like to be alone?"

"Yes, we would," Sarah said. The tailor rolled his eyes, but the grin on his face showed he wasn't that upset. Sarah walked up to him and placed her hands on the tux. "I like the fit," she said softly. Chuck swallowed.

"Just to be clear, you're not having any ideas of… ahem," he said, clearing his throat. The look on Sarah's face was a one of a ravenous lion, and he was an injured gazelle. "Sarah," he said in an admonishing whisper.

"Shall I close the door, Miss," the tailor called out.

"If you would please, Roan, lock it as well."

"As you wish." Chuck's eyes went wide.

}o{

Chuck walked into his apartment a few hours later, his hair very disheveled, Sarah having a satisfied smirk on her face. "We had to buy that tux!"

"I know. Now you can try it on every now and then," Sarah said.

"At this rate, it won't be in any shape for the wedding!" Chuck replied, not looking anywhere as upset as he was acting.

"That's why I ordered a different one for the wedding," she said, bouncing her eyebrows. Chuck's eyes went wide. "What can I say, women get to have their own fantasies."

"Do you remember that dress, when you came and saved me like a damn hero from my prom?" Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. "I really like it."

"Do you remember how you saved me like a damn hero at _my_ prom?" Sarah asked him. Chuck shrugged and grinned. "I was such an idiot."

"What? No, you were no idiot. You just didn't understand," Chuck began.

"Bullshit. I was scared out of my mind, and I couldn't take a leap of faith without you there to convince me this was real."

Chuck took her hand. "So? I didn't either. Why do I get off scot-free?"

"You don't," Sarah replied. "You have to live with those consequences. Those consequences being me, being with you, from now on."

"And you being handsy?"

"Baby, you like it when I'm handsy."

"I do."

}o{

The wedding, while not as strange as their first, was still… well, it was Chuck and Sarah. Mary was the Matron of Honor. Emma gave Sarah away, and the ceremony was performed by Stephen Bartowski, which caught everyone off-guard. He had been adamant about taking care of the ceremony, and everyone assumed he meant finding an officiant.

"I mean we _are_ getting legally married here, right?" Sarah whispered to Mary.

"If he screws this up, I'll murder him. And I know a hundred ways to do it," Mary growled.

"Don't," Sarah said, a smile on her face. "I like my in-laws just the way they are."

"I'd like to read a passage from the Bible: First book of Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4 through 7," Stephen began. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Stephen stopped and looked at Chuck and Sarah. "I present to you today, two idiots," Stephen began.

"I'm going to kill him," Mary muttered.

"Give him a chance," Sarah argued, but it wasn't looking good for Stephen.

Stephen smiled at the two of them. "These two met when they were young, and _everyone_, except them, knew they belonged together." Chuck smiled at Sarah and she returned the smile. "Neither of them thought they deserved the other, and because of that, they tried for years to find the perfect person for the other. They were not self-seeking, they did not harbor envy toward the other, they were patient, and so very kind." Chuck wiped a tear from his face. "They were there for each other, to protect the other, trust the other, and hope that one day they could figure out how to make this work."

"I'm not gonna kill him," Mary muttered.

"I'm gonna hug him," Sarah replied.

"These two idiots looked everywhere they could, instead of at each other. Not because they didn't trust the other, but because they didn't trust themselves to be what the other needed." Stephen looked over at Mary. "I can tell you my son got being an idiot about love honestly. I don't want to speak for Emma."

"She did, too," Emma spoke up. Stephen nodded smiling at the two in front of him.

"Now, I'm about to ask a question, and you two don't get to say anything." The congregation laughed. "Does anyone know of a reason these two should _not_ get married?" You could hear a pin drop with the silence. "See, they know." He turned to Sarah. "Do you have anything you'd like to say?"

Sarah took Chuck's hands. "I have given reasons for years why this would be a bad idea, and yet… here we are." Chuck smiled at her. "So, I'll make this simple. I'm not going to worry about tomorrow. I'm going to live today, here, with you, and make us as happy as possible."

Stephen turned to Chuck. "Don't overdo it, son," he muttered.

"There's never been anyone but you, Sarah," Chuck began. Sarah pressed her lips together, trying not to cry. "I tried to find others, I never thought I was good enough for you, or that you felt like this for me, but I _know_ that now, so, if it's okay, I'm just gonna keep loving my best friend the way I have been. I'm going to keep looking out for you, and I'm just gonna be there for you, like I have been."

"Perfect," she whispered.

"Do you have the rings?" Stephen asked Morgan.

"Right here," Morgan said, giving them to Stephen. Stephen gave Chuck and Sarah the rings.

"With this ring, I thee wed," Sarah said to Chuck as she slipped it on his finger.

"With this ring, I thee wed," Chuck parroted as he did the same.

"By the power invested in me by the United Federation of Planets," Stephen began.

"I may still murder him after all," Mary muttered.

"I now pronounce you Husband and Wife." Everyone turned toward Stephen after the pause. "I'm trying to figure out who should kiss who," he admitted.

"I got this," Sarah said, pulling Chuck in for a kiss.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Chuck and Sarah."

}o{

Sarah enjoyed her birthday while on her honeymoon. When they returned, it was back to work on the video game division, which had grown. Bryce and Morgan now both worked in the division, and it was becoming one big happy family. The summer ended, and Chuck found himself awakened on his birthday, his comic on the bedside table. Sarah sat in his computer chair, holding his cupcake, and quite possibly wearing nothing but his shirt.

"Your first birthday that we're married," Sarah said.

"For the rest of my life," Chuck added. Sarah bounced her eyebrows at him.

"Happy birthday, Chuck."

A/N: Hey, listen, sorry for the lack of chapters, running two grants simultaneously has left my brain exhausted, plus someone turns 13 on the 9th and that's gonna be a whole week of stuff. It could be a week or more before I post anything else. Reviews are always welcome, and thanks for the support on this one.

DC


	20. Ch 20, 26th birthday

A/N: 2006-2007 Oh, they're newlyweds… I'm sure everything is gonna slow down and nothing crazy is going to happen now… really? If you believe all of that you've never read anything I have ever written.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

Life as newlyweds became a series of firsts. First married Thanksgiving, first married Christmas, first married New Year's, and first married Valentine's Day.

They were moving along toward their first anniversary, when a party was thrown. Morgan had finally decided to move back to Burbank a few months earlier, and surprisingly got married to Anna Wu, quickly and quietly. They were throwing a party; no one was quite sure for what event, or if it was just because Morgan wanted to. Nevertheless, it found the old friends together, talking about life.

"She's pregnant," Morgan whispered to Chuck.

"Who, Anna?" Chuck asked. Morgan nodded. "Is that why you married her?"

"I don't know," Morgan admitted. "I mean, I love her, it's just…"

"It's just what?" Chuck asked.

"She scares me a little," Morgan admitted.

"You don't think Sarah scares me?" Chuck asked him. Morgan grinned at him. "Listen… you love her?" Morgan nodded. "You do realize you're gonna have to buck up and be a parent, right?" Morgan nodded. "Then buddy, be the Morgan I know. Be my Chewie, but be the Chewie your wife and kid needs."

"It's gonna be a boy," Morgan said. "I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there like my dad should have been for me." Chuck hugged Morgan.

"I'm here, Morg. I'm always here."

"I know, Chuck," Morgan said. Looking around the party, he said "I've gotta be the host."

"Go get 'em," Chuck said, watching him walk away. He felt her beside him, and slipped her twenty bucks.

"Told you she was pregnant," Sarah said, taking a drink.

"I'm a little scared how hairy the baby's gonna come out, if I'm honest," Chuck said to her.

She snorted at that, and looked around the room. "You know, while I'm glad Morgan's moved back, he didn't have to invite some of these people to this party," Sarah said softly, leaning towards Chuck.

"Some of them are mad at you." Sarah glanced at Chuck. "You know they came to the first wedding, but not the second."

Sarah just grinned behind her cup. She looked up at his head. "You know, your hair…" she shook her head.

"I thought you liked it like this?"

"I mean I like it a little out of control, but that… that looks like a bird nested in it."

"Huh, well… you look beautiful," Chuck replied.

"Stop," Sarah said, blushing.

"Your face is A+, and that smile…" Chuck trailed off, shaking his head in wonder and watching Sarah blush harder. "The way you put your whole being into it, and seem to just stop time around me… that's just exquisite."

Sarah's eyes went wide, and the blush went deeper. "We are about to fight," she whispered at him aggressively.

"And you'd look fabulous doing it," Chuck said. Sarah gave up and kissed him.

"I'm gonna get you back, just know that," she told him as she pulled away.

Chuck snorted. "Fat chance." A few hours later they were talking to Morgan and Anna, and that's when Sarah kept her word.

The group was talking about dealing with people, and how in customer service you had to control your facial expressions and never give out a "mean look". "It's why I could never work in customer service," Chuck was saying. "I'd give too many mean looks."

"Yeah, right," Sarah muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. Chuck looked at her, along with everyone else. "What? You don't have a 'mean look'."

"Oh please, I'm sure I do," Chuck countered. "I'm sure it makes people quake in their boots."

Sarah looked at him, a smirk on her face. "If by 'people' you mean 'adorable baby kittens', then yes. Before they wobble over and lick your face." Chuck glared at her. "Aw," she said, a smile on her face. "Look at all the kittens coming over! How adorable!"

The look Chuck gave her was making her feel things. The rest of the night the looks he gave her made her bite her lip, or have to look away. She should have let it go, knowing how all the bantering was getting to him, to her. But she didn't want to stop, and now, now this was her husband, her best friend, that she could say and do just about anything with, and knew it was safe. Not only safe, but it was turning him on as much as it was her.

She didn't know where the line was, until her fingertips dragged across the back of his shirt. Suddenly, she was pulled into a room, her back against the wall, and her arm held to wall by her wrist. She wasn't frightened by the look in his eyes; she was pretty sure she had the same look in hers.

"Don't," he said with a ragged breath, like he was holding something back.

"Why not?" she asked, as innocently as possible. He swallowed, and she could see gold flakes in his brown eyes. But they were growing darker, with something – lust, she was sure. She had teased him all night, she knew. He had started it, but she had turned it up a few notches. She loved that they could be like this: This free, this open, not worrying about where that stupid friendship line was. They were together, and her heart felt full, but there were _other_ parts of her aching for him.

"I will not be held responsible for my actions if you don't stop touching me, teasing me, just…"

"Why would I want you to?" she asked, with a bit of a head tilt and a challenging smile on her face. She shot forward and kissed him. He moaned into her mouth, and it was clear he was gone over the edge with desire. He pulled away from her, seeming to study her, but that wasn't it, she knew. His mind was broken. He was lost in her eyes, in what he saw. He seemed to be trying to make words, but they were not coming out of his mouth. "I can get us home in five minutes," she said softly.

Goodbyes were given, and they raced home. She barely got inside the door when she spun and pinned him to it, her lips on his neck. Chuck's mind all but melted and ran out of his ear. It was then that she realized… they were not alone in the apartment. She went deadly still.

"I see that marriage certificate I found was legit," they heard a woman say. Sarah turned, and could make out a figure in the dark, sitting in a chair. She felt Chuck move to stand in front of her.

"Really?" she said softly, and she wrapped an arm around him and stood in front of him.

"I thought I'd distract him while you went and attacked him," Chuck whispered, but the woman in the chair heard him. Sarah swore she recognized the chuckle.

"_He_ is a she," Sarah informed him.

"See, I made the right call," Chuck countered.

"God I've missed you two," the woman in the chair said as she flipped the light on by the chair.

"Z?" Chuck asked, in shock. It wasn't her he was in shock over… it was the baby she was holding.

"I need your help with this one," Zondra said, nodding her head toward the child.

"You know…" Chuck stumbled over his words, swallowed, and continued. "You know I will do whatever I can to help you Z." He shook his head. "You should have told me."

Zondra and Sarah stared at Chuck and then looked at each other. "How the hell did he get into Stanford again?" Zondra asked.

"I'm really hoping I had his mind on something else, and that's why he's gone stupid," Sarah admitted.

"Listen, we need to talk about all of that, but I have to say, THANK GOD you two figured it out!"

"But my baby," Chuck began.

"Chuck, that cannot be your child," Sarah said gently.

"It's not even my child," Zondra added. "Do the math, Curls." Chuck blinked and then his eyes went wide. "There he is."

"What do you mean it isn't your child?" Sarah asked.

"I saved the baby on a mission, but I need to hide it," Zondra replied. "I killed the guy that was after her, but I need her to be safe, and there's no one I trust more than you two." Zondra got up and walked over to them. She looked Chuck in the eye and handed the baby to him. She spun and hugged Sarah, as Chuck looked down at the child. Zondra let Sarah go, wrapped an arm around Chuck's shoulders and looked down at the child looking up at Chuck. "See, I knew I picked the right two," she said softly.

"How do we do this? _Can_ we do this? What's her name?" Chuck asked, looking at Zondra and beginning to panic.

"Molly," Zondra said simply.

}o{

"I don't get the big deal," Mary began as she entered their apartment a little while later. Sarah had called Mary, told her there was an emergency and she was probably the only one that could help them.

"Mom, this is Zondra," Chuck said softly. "The baby… she saved it's life."

"Same Zondra you dated?" Mary asked. Chuck nodded. Mary turned to Sarah and something passed between them. Mary turned to Zondra. "You are with the Company?" Zondra glanced at Chuck and Sarah but nodded. "Priority code," Mary said in a voice that made Chuck and Sarah blink. Zondra glanced at the two civilians. "Very good," Mary murmured. "I need you two to go out to the fountain and make out for a bit or something." Zondra grinned at Mary.

}o{

Sarah had her head on Chuck's chest, his hand brushing through her hair, as they sat on the fountain. "We need to keep her," she said quietly. Chuck looked down at her, surprised. "She's lost everything, and we need…" She trailed off, but Chuck knew what she meant. Sarah wanted the little girl to have a foundation that she never really did. Chuck knew what to do.

"Yeah, we do," Chuck admitted. "You know what we need to do? Start a daycare in the office."

"We do," Sarah replied. "We can't make her ever feel unloved."

"No, we can't," Chuck agreed, running his hand through her hair, smiling. "Are you sure about this? I mean… _I'm_ barely on solid foods."

"We have to, Chuck," Sarah insisted. "Zondra wouldn't have brought her to us if she didn't think we would be the right couple."

"So, we're doing this?" Chuck asked. "Because we've only been married a short time. She gave him a look. "What?"

"But we've been together forever," Sarah retorted. Chuck smiled at her. "And don't worry, we'll figure out ways to be together."

"You mean sex?" Chuck asked.

"At least you dropped the 'the'," she said, shaking her head. "Oh, God."

"What is it?"

"Now you will tell those awful jokes because you will be a dad."

"And that makes you a milf," Chuck blurted out. Sarah got up and walked away. "I meant that in the best way!"

}o{

"Are you two sure about this?" Mary asked.

"We are," Sarah answered, looking Mary in the eye. "That child deserves to have parents that love and care for her." The two looked over at Chuck grinning at the baby as he rocked her. Mary and Sarah shared a look.

"Well, she's gonna have a brother or sister soon," Mary muttered.

"Hell, nine months and a day," Zondra countered making Mary laugh. They both looked at Sarah who hadn't disagreed with them. Zondra's eyes widened and turned to Mary. "Tell me they aren't…." She couldn't finish the sentence.

"I don't know, but I bet they are gonna start trying now," Mary replied, with a grin.

}o{

Molly's adoption went through the courts quickly, like there were strings being pulled at every level along the way. Chuck asked Mary once, and the look she gave him told him to never ask again.

Sarah's birthday came and went with a huge celebration. Chuck asked her what she wanted for her birthday, and she told him she wanted a baby. It took several minutes for him to quit sputtering and his mind to reboot.

The summer came and went. Chuck found himself, on the morning of his birthday, in bed with a blond other than his wife. Molly was giggling and slapping at his nose, as Sarah walked into the room with three things in her hand. A comic book, a cupcake, and a pregnancy test.

"Happy birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: It's like the angst is all gone….


	21. Ch 21, 27th Birthday

AN: Uh, I went searching for something in this story and read it from front to end for the first time. For those of you that stuck it out, thank you. HOLY CRAP what did I write? This is….OOF! No more of that, Happy tears. Happy tears.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

"Whatcha watching?" Sarah asked, coming into the living room with Molly.

"Some show called Zack," Chuck responded. "It's about this nerd who gets a computer in his brain, and there's this CIA agent and NSA agent sent to get it back. It's a little crazy, honestly."

"So, you're gonna watch every episode?" Sarah asked, sitting down beside him.

"Eh, I don't know. It seems like one of those shows that has a cult following, but just won't quite make it." Chuck squinted and peered at the screen. "Is that the guy from Firefly?"

}o{

The year marched on. Sarah and Chuck had serious conversations about what to do with their growing family. They couldn't come to an agreement regarding what to do about the size of the apartment, and this continued to Thanksgiving. It was at Mary and Stephen's home that it happened.

"Sarah," Emma said gently. "I wondered if you and Chuck would like to come with me to look at a house that I think might be perfect for the four of you."

"Go," Mary said, shooing them off. "I'll watch this one, she needs a little Grandma time." Molly squealed and laughed. Chuck and Sarah followed Emma out of the house, and the short way down the street to Emma's house.

"Did she forget where we're going?" Chuck whispered into Sarah's ear.

She squeezed his hand. "No silly, she walked over, so we're probably going to go get her car," she whispered back.

Chuck shrugged and walked along. A few seconds later they walked into Emma's home. Chuck looked into the room that was forever etched in his mind. There was little Sarah, holding onto her grandmother's dead hand, sobbing.

"She would have been so proud of you two," Emma said.

"You know, that's one of the things that kept us apart so long," Chuck said to Emma. "Sarah kept thinking we'd lose each other if we were together, and she couldn't lose anyone else."

"I know," Emma replied. "That's why I waited to make sure you two were strong enough." Chuck turned, confusion on his face. "This house, if I so choose, is Sarah's… and yours."

"Wait, what?" Chuck asked.

Emma smiled at him. "She knew… she knew you two would eventually figure it out. You two loved each other too much not to." Chuck smiled at her. "Her instructions in her will were if you and Sarah were to marry, it was up to me if you got this house. But not before you were about to have kids."

"That's oddly specific," Chuck said with a grin.

"She knew Sarah would be affected here," Emma said with a shrug.

"Wait, what about you?" Chuck asked. He was not about to throw Emma out of her home.

"She's going to live with us," Mary said, walking in with Stephen and Molly. "The house is huge, and it's just us there…"

"Where's Sarah?" Chuck asked.

"In the attic, I'm sure," Emma told him. Chuck headed up the stairs immediately.

"Think they'll do it?" Mary asked Emma.

"I have no idea," Emma admitted.

Chuck went upstairs into the attic, to find Sarah all the way in the back. "The guitar was here, and I never thought in all these years to come up and look." She handed Chuck a photo album. He started to thumb through it. "Don't they look so happy? _So_ in love?"

"They do," Chuck admitted.

"Chuck… I want that," she said softly.

"I promise, Sarah, we will, we do."

"I want it here," she said, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "If she can't see us together, then I need to do it in this home. For her… for me. I almost lost you, and I need to be here."

"Hey, you never almost lost me. You had me, just not like this, and you wouldn't have ever lost me."

"Wouldn't I have, though, at some point?" Chuck gave her a look, and she snorted a laugh through tears. "Do you think mom would be upset if we offered to buy it? Hell, I've never asked, I'm sorry… would _you_ be okay living here?"

"Sarah, _you're_ my home," Chuck admitted. Tears spilled anew from her eyes, as she hugged him. "Besides, this place is yours." She pulled away looking at him.

"What do you mean it's mine?"

"Perhaps you should go talk to your mom," Chuck said, grinning. She got up and offered him her hand, but he shook his head. "No, babe. This is between you two."

"I love you, Chuck Bartowski, and don't you dare _ever_ think otherwise."

"That had to be the sexiest threat I've ever heard in my life," Chuck said, a little in awe of her. She smirked at him. "Go on, talk to her." She left, and Chuck looked around the attic. "I wonder if I have to clean out all this stuff if we take the house," he muttered to himself.

}o{

The move-in began as soon as all the paperwork started, which somehow moved quickly. Whenever Sarah mentioned it, Mary would suddenly become scarce.

Christmas was celebrated at the new Bartowski home. After everyone had left, Sarah found one more present under the back of the tree.

"What is that?" she asked. Chuck walked toward the back of the tree, pulled out the present and handed it to Sarah. She gave him a look, opened the present, and stared at it.

"This is one of those 'I think it's a good idea but might not be' presents," Chuck began.

"Cookie cutters?" Sarah asked softly. Chuck began to reply, but she put her finger to his lips. "Chuck Bartowski," she began, emotion in her voice. "The house you used to come to, before you knew me, for the best cookies on the block… and then, when you became my friend, we helped Granny make cookies all the time…" Tears were falling from her eyes. "How the hell did I ever think I could be with anyone that wasn't you?" she asked softly.

"Because we were scared of our hormones, and the incredible sex we'd have," he replied.

She snorted and looked at him. "I mean… it _is_ pretty incredible."

"Right?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.

"I mean, since I was involved, you _know_ it was going to be spectacular," she said, smirking. Chuck snorted. "What?"

"Nope," Chuck replied, shaking his head and walking toward the kitchen. She was following right behind him. "Sarah, don't."

"Don't what?" she asked, spinning him. "What?"

"I mean I have a comeback, but you're going to get pissy about it."

"I am not," she countered.

Chuck grinned, shrugged, and said one word. "Robert." Sarah closed her eyes and let out a groan. "Did you ever get to make that noise with him?"

"I hate you so much," she said opening her eyes and trying to glare. Chuck just shrugged. "Really?"

"I mean you were the one saying what you were saying. Maybe you need to read a book."

Her mouth opened as he walked away. "Chuck." He headed up the steps. "Chuck Bartowski." He kept going. "I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!" She chased after him, not half as upset as she let on.

}o{

It was one April late night/early morning that Chuck was ripped from his sleep. "We need to go to the hospital," Sarah said calmly, shaking Chuck awake.

"I don't wanna go to the hospital," Chuck whined, still asleep.

"_Charles Irving Bartowski_!" she growled. Chuck sat straight up, wide awake.

"What's wrong?" he asked, still a little out of it.

"It's time to go to the hospital," Sarah said, watching as the realization of what was happening hit him. Chuck jumped up like a shot and took off. Sarah listened as a moment later he drove away from the house, probably still in his pajamas, probably headed to the hospital by himself.

}o{

"Son, are you okay?" Stephen asked Chuck, as he sat outside the delivery room. Chuck had finally remembered to come back and get Sarah. In that time, she had called her mom, who told the Bartowskis, including Ellie and Devon.

"Yeah, Mom went in and told me to get out for a while," Chuck admitted.

Stephen sat down beside him. "Did you really drive off without her?" Chuck just leaned forward into his hands, and groaned.

}o{

"You okay?" Mary asked. Sarah nodded, breathing through the contraction. "I know you're mad at him, but he needs to be in here," Mary began.

"I'm not mad at him, I just needed to talk to you," Sarah began to explain. "This, is all because of you."

"Sweetie, I had nothing to do with this," Mary rebutted.

Sarah chuckled. "Mary, I mean… your words, what you said, how you kept me from freaking out. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't have this wonderful family I now have, and the wonderful family I'm about to have."

Mary took Sarah's hands. "It was my pleasure dear," Mary replied. "Now, since you owe me," Mary said as she ignored Sarah grinning and shaking her head. "Don't you think it's time you told the grandmother what the boy's name is going to be?"

"Stephen," Sarah said. Mary grinned. "Stephen Luke Bartowski." The grin fell from Mary's face.

"Sarah," Mary began.

"He wanted Luke, and he gave me the puppy dogs eyes. And he said how cool is it going to be when he says, 'Luke, _I_am your father.'"

"Honey, no," Mary said shaking her head. Suddenly Sarah's eyes went wide, and Mary turned and ran. "CHUCK! YOU'RE UP!"

}o{

As with most births, there was a lot of screaming and crying… mostly Chuck's. However, mother and baby both were fine, and Stephen Luke Bartowski entered the world yelling his head off. They went home after a few days, and it was no time at all before Sarah's birthday rolled around.

Molly did her best to be a big sister, and Chuck did his best to be the best father he could. Sarah felt like she was raising three at times; not because Chuck didn't pull his weight, because he did, and then some. But he was, as she had called him many times, an overgrown child.

September hit, a Care Bear comic was given, and on his birthday, he was surprised to be awakened at 5 o'clock in the morning.

"Sorry," a sleepy Sarah said. "I hate to do it this early, but you know those two and their schedule."

"Sarah, you didn't have to," Chuck began.

"Chuck, shut up." Chuck's eyes widened. "I know what you're going to say, so here's my rebuttal: I don't care how tired I am, I don't care that it's the thought that counts. You made me understand something a long time ago. These little things mean a lot to you. I don't do this because I have to, I don't do this because you expect it. I do it because I want you to know you mean so much to me, you're on my mind, and I love you. Always have, you curly-headed nerd. Chuck, I do this for me as much as for you. I do this so I remember how much you've done for me, and you never ask for anything. Know this Chuck Bartowski: As long as I physically can, I will give you a cupcake on your birthday."

"Thank you, Sarah," he said, kissing her gently on her lips.

She pulled way and held it out to him.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: I think two more and a very short epilogue await us. Next chapter, I have been looking forward to for a while. What happens when Chuck and Sarah attend their high school reunion? Come on back and see. Leave a review if you don't mind on the way out, and I'll see you next time.

DC


	22. Ch 22, 28th Birthday

A/N: For those of you who read the early posting last time, I said four more chapters and a quick epilogue. At that time, I had mistyped, there were two more and an epilogue. This is the last in the sequential chapters as far as years go, and honestly, it's kinda the end of the story. There are two more very short chapters, the next jumps three years ahead, and the one after that another 3 years. I have to thank Joe Watkins and PeterOinNYC for the ideas that influenced this chapter. They made a decent idea into something pretty good, I think. As for this ending, if you have an idea, and it works in my head I can always add on. Get your dancing shoes on, this time we get to enjoy dancing at the high school. What? High school reunion incoming.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

As fall turned into winter, Chuck kept an eye on his best friend, his wife, his confidant, and as Mary had put it so clearly some time ago, his Sarah. She seemed happy, she seemed content. But he knew her, and something was bothering her. Something that he had no idea what it could be, but he was determined to try anything.

He laid out his plan at family dinner, while Sarah was taking a walk with Emma. Stephen grinned and the rest of the family looked at him like he was nuts.

"Chuck, are you sure?" Mary asked.

"Mary, the plan is foolproof," Stephen told her. Mary looked at her husband, then turned her eyes toward the heavens.

}o{

"Hey, can we talk?" Chuck asked Sarah, later.

"Sure," she replied. "Out back, that's where we always have our talks on this day."

"It is, isn't it?" he said with a grin, walking with her outside. Sarah sat down on the outside chair, but Chuck stood there looking out over the back porch. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" Sarah asked.

Chuck turned to her, a knowing smile on his face. "Sarah Lisa Walker Bartowski," he began.

"Walker's gone," she said with a smile. "And I like it when you try to be bossy."

"I'm not trying to be bossy," Chuck replied. Sarah was trying to cover the grin, but it was _not_ working. "I'm just warning you, you can tell me now, or…"

"Or what?"

"I have de vays to make you talk," he said, trying out his bad German accent… _again_.

"Oh, Chuck," she said, sighing as she sat back. "We both know it is me who has ways to make _you_ talk."

"But I don't know anything," Chuck retorted, getting confused.

Sarah shook her head. "I see later tonight I will have to extract the information from you."

"How?" Chuck asked, as she stood and walked toward him.

"Do you remember the night we got Molly, how beforehand you had plans, and I had plans?" Chuck nodded, swallowing. "I still have my plans… do you?"

"I do," Chuck said. Sarah smirked, turned, and started to walk off. His hand shot out and gently encircled her wrist. "I also know I'm here for you."

She looked at him, with a smile. "I know you are. You always have been, and you always will be."

"Just… is everything okay?"

"Chuck," she said, coming up to him, and placing both hands on his chest. "Everything is fine. There's something I've kind of been thinking about doing." She looked down at the ground, sighed, and then looked back up at him. "_If_ I decide I want to, I'll tell you about it, and we'll make a decision. Okay?"

"Okay," he said. She smiled, kissed him, and went back inside. "So, we do it the hard way."

}o{

"This is nice," Ellie said, as Devon held the chair out for her. "You're okay with getting out for one night away from the kids, right?"

"I am more than alright," Sarah told them. The grandparents had the children, and seemed slightly insulted when asked if they were sure they could handle Luke and Molly for the night. "Where did Chuck go?"

"Something about a surprise," Ellie said, shrugging. Sarah's eyes went big and she looked around until she found it. Open Mic night.

"Oh, God," she moaned.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to open mic night! We have our first performer ready to go, take it away… Mr. Carmichael!" she heard the emcee say.

"Oh God, he's using a fake name," Sarah moaned, putting her head into her hands, and then she heard it.

"_We've been together since way back when_

_Sometimes I never want to see you again_

_But I want you to know, after all these years_

_You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear"_

She lifted her head, and saw a wince on Ellie's face.

"He's doing _Still the One_ by Orleans?" Ellie asked, looking horrified. "Can my brother pick a cornier song?"

"Oh, he did this on purpose," Sarah replied. "I know what he's doing." Sarah looked around. "Where's Devon?"

"He's singing backup," Ellie replied, looking pained.

"_You're still the one - I want to talk to in bed_

_Still the one - that turns my head_

_We're still having fun, and you're still the one"_

"He's coming this way, isn't he?" Sarah asked. It was less question, than statement. Ellie nodded.

"The good news is they have edited the song," Ellis replied, and then Chuck was beside Sarah. He bent down on one knee and continued.

"_You're still the one - that makes me laugh_

_Still the one - that's my better half_

_We're still having fun, and you're still the one_

_You're still the one - that makes me strong_

_Still the one - I want to take along_

_We're still having fun, and you're still the one (yes you are)"_

Sarah smiled at him and mouthed, "I'll tell you."

Chuck looked her right in the eyes and…

"_You're still the one - that I love to touch_

_Still the one - and I can't get enough_

_We're still having fun, and you're still the one_

_You're still the one - who can scratch my itch_

_Still the one - and I wouldn't switch_

_We're still having fun, and you're still the one_

_You are still the one - that makes me shout_

_Still the one - that I dream about_

_We're still having fun, and you're still the one_

_You're still the one, yeah still the one_

_We're still having fun, and you're still the one"_

She wrapped her arms around him. "I love you, Baby, but you pick the corniest songs ever."

"You're still the one, Sarah, always have been," he said, with a shrug. "Now, tell me what?" She sighed and giggled. He was corny, but he was her corny guy.

}o{

"I'm just glad Devon didn't take his shirt off," Ellie said, as they exited the door and headed into the night air.

"They were shirtless on the album cover," Devon pointed out.

"Awesome, you were… well… Awesome!" Chuck said with a grin. Ellie rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"You really were quite good," Ellie agreed, a little something dripping in her voice.

"Annnnnd, we're out," Chuck said, making everyone laugh.

"What, you don't want to hear your sister getting it on?" Sarah asked, giving his backside a little pinch.

Chuck high stepped for a moment, and turned to her with his hands on his hips. "Well I never!"

"Sure you have, last night. I pinched your backside while mmhm mmhprrmph," she said, Chuck's hand over her mouth and his eyes wide.

"Okay," Ellie said laughing. "While I get your desire to get him back, please remember your poor sister-in-law who's in the crossfire."

"Will do," Sarah replied. Ellie and Devon got into their car. "Devon… thanks," Sarah said.

Devon shrugged. "It was all the Chuckster," he replied. "I still think it would have been better shirtless," he said to Ellie, as he started the car and took off.

Sarah turned to Chuck, his eyes shining and a smirk on his face. "You do know that's not really the 'punishment' you think it is, right?" Chuck shrugged. "I want to do something that's extremely selfish."

"Okay," Chuck replied, crossing his arms as he leaned back against their car. "Why do I think it's not that selfish?"

"It is, trust me."

"Always," he answered in such an automatic way that it brought a smile to her face.

"I want to go to our high school reunion," she blurted out. "Now before you say no," she hurried on, not letting him get a word in. "I _know_ it's selfish. Your proms… they were all lousy. One of them was because of our classmates, and one because of me, because now, looking back, Chuck…" Tears were in her eyes. "Chuck you were a damn hero. Knowing how much you loved me back then, it had to be so hard for you. And then the next morning…"

She shook her head. "That could have been OUR moment. That could have been where we stopped hurting each other…" She shook her head, the tears falling. "I know what I'm asking is selfish, but damn it, I want our moment. Dancing in that school, knowing that when we leave you love me, and will still love me. And we'll go home to our children, together… plans we should have started making then. And I know how proms have hurt you. I realize how absolutely selfish this is, but if you will do this for me, I _promise_," her voice dripping with honey, letting it be clear. "I will make it what it should have been long ago, and you will not regret it."

"I didn't regret it then, and I wouldn't now," he replied softly. "I got to spend the night with my best friend, why do you think that's so terrible."

"Because you didn't have best friend benefits back then," she replied.

He shrugged. "But I had you, and as incredible as our sex life is," he began.

"_Soooo _incredible," she added with a grin.

He returned the grin. "I got to spend the night dancing with you. Talking to you. Loving you. And you know and _I_ know we both loved each other, and were there for each other. That night was incredible, and you'll never convince me otherwise. But if this is what you call selfish, then you be selfish. You show me exactly how selfish you can be."

"You sure?" she asked, an eyebrow raised. "Because after I'm incredibly selfish, I can be incredibly giving." With that, she got into the car as Chuck's brain locked, and then broke. She rolled down the window. "Take me home and I'll show you."

Chuck quickly started to move, but not before firing off a quick text:

_Roan, I need a favor._

}o{

The buildup to the reunion began. Sarah and Ellie went dress shopping, and Chuck acted like he would just put something on from the closet. This caused Ellie to have to walk Sarah out the door, leaving Chuck with the two children.

"Can you say surprise?" Chuck asked Luke and Molly.

The morning of the big event rolled around, and Sarah seemed nervous. "Something wrong, dear?" Chuck asked, strolling through the kitchen.

"YES!" she said, slamming down the pen onto the list she'd been making. "I have been running around here for two months, all I asked was that you go with me, I know, but you've seemed to take it _umph_!" Chuck had walked up, scooped her into his arms, and was kissing her. She wrapped her arms around his neck. After she had calmed down, he pulled away just a bit to talk.

"My attire is hidden at one of my friend's house," Chuck began. "The limo-"

"LIMO!?"

"Limo," Chuck said with a smirk, "will be here at four to take us to your favorite Italian restaurant." She gave him a look through her lashes that made his knees go weak. "We will be at the reunion by 7, the limo on standby to take us wherever we want to go, whenever we want to go, once your night of showing them how great it is to have a best friend with best friend benefits is complete."

"I sort of think we're using best friend benefits the wrong way," she told him, grinning.

"Maybe that's why we have incredible sex and others don't," he said with a shrug.

"_Sooooo_ incredible," she emphasized. Chuck shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "What can you do."

"Feel better?"

"Yes," she said softly. "I'm sorry, it's just-" he laid his finger on her lips and shook his head.

"No, no apologies. Tonight is your night to be selfish." He removed his finger and gently kissed her lips.

"You're just saying that because you want me to be incredibly giving later."

Chuck pulled away and cupped her face. "Sarah, no. Tonight is your night, whatever… I mean, no other _dudes_."

"Obviously," she said rolling her eyes.

"But whatever you want us to do, consider it done, because I know how incredible senior prom was, even if you refuse to accept it. The next morning… eh, but that night was one of the best of my life. So if you believe you can top that… do whatever you need to."

"Chuck Bartowski, I need you to know something."

"What is it?"

"I would have gone with you to see _Batman_, even if your dad had never asked me."

"I mean, why are you flirting so hard right now?" he asked with a teasing smile on his face. "You got this locked down."

"I know," she replied, without one bit of cockiness in her voice. It was simply a fact.

"I am so going to enjoy tonight."

"Me too, Chuck." She smiled at him. "Me too."

}o{

Sarah heard the front door open. He had been at his parents' house getting ready. She came down the hallway, listening to his voice. "Sarah, we need to get going, we have… a… holy shit," he muttered. Sarah had come down the hall putting in her last earring, and Chuck saw her, wearing the salmon dress. Not the same one, but it was the same version of it, and his mouth was agape. However, if his was agape, Sarah's was on the floor. Chuck had on a suit with a vest, and her eyes were bulging. Chuck swore she licked her lips looking at him.

"We should just stay here," she said, honey pouring from her tone.

"Nope," Chuck said, coming to his senses. "We're gonna do this right."

"Chuck, to do this right, we'd have to have a hotel room…" she trailed off seeing two bags packed.

"Your mom packed yours," Chuck said. Her lips twisted. She stood their considering. She finally sighed like she had lost. She walked over, grabbed her bag, and walked to the bedroom. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure I pack exactly what I need to knock your sock offs," she retorted.

"Sarah, you knock my socks off in anything, and you know it," he said, grinning at her as she came back in. She walked up to him and kissed him on the lips with a big smack.

"Yeah, but you know me, I like to watch your brain explode." With that she walked out, leaving Chuck standing there.

"She's good at it," he muttered, and hurried after her.

}o{

"I can't believe you," he said a little later, the two of them standing off to the side, people watching.

"What?" she asked, smirking.

"The Sarah Walker name badge," Chuck replied.

"They asked for these to be signed the name you were in high school," she said with a shrug. "Besides, most of these people have no idea, so I wanted to keep it that way." She looked over at him. "I want them to know when I'm ready to show them how big a mistake they made."

"Showing me off, Walker?" he asked, falling back into his teasing ways from when they roamed these halls.

She leaned over and lightly kissed him. "Yeah, I am," she replied, a smug look on her face. "Chuck, tell me you bought that suit."

"Nope, Roan gifted it," Chuck replied. "He figures we'll have to pay for repairs to it soon," he added, giving her a faux admonishing look.

"Can't let him down," Sarah replied, taking a drink, making Chuck laugh. "Damn it," she swore softly. Chuck followed her line of sight.

"Is that Ashley and Brad?"

"Yup, and she's not fat and he still looks pretty good." Chuck looked over at her. "Is that look for my pettiness or that I said Brad looks good."

"I mean I am aware he looks good, but you don't have to point it out," he said, shaking his head.

"Doesn't look as good as you," Sarah said. Chuck shook his head at her. "Oh, boy, they're coming this way."

"Chuck, Sarah?" Ashley asked.

"Hey, Brad, Ashley," Chuck replied.

"Chuck," Brad began, looking ashamed. "I owe you a huge apology." Chuck's eyes widened as did Sarah's. "I-I was an ass."

"So was I," Ashley said. She looked at Sarah's nametag, and she gave them a sad smile. "I was hoping you two were together by now."

"You know most of were jealous of you two," Brad said. "You both had someone, no matter what, and we didn't. We were caught up in petty high school bullshit. I hope our BS didn't cost you two… well, anything."

"You didn't Brad," Chuck began.

"Good!" Brad said, a smile on his face. "Listen, we gotta talk to a bunch of people, but if you can stand to be around us, maybe catch up later?"

"Sure," Sarah said. Ashley and Brad headed away, and Chuck and Sarah turned toward each other. "What the hell?"

"Maybe they grew up," Chuck said.

"Attention," a familiar voice said over the PA. "We need Chuck Bartowski and Sarah Walker to dance floor, this is for them."

"Was that Anna?" Chuck asked.

"Yep," Sarah replied, pulling him along. "Do you want to piss her off?" They got to the dance floor, and the music began.

A voice whispered,

_When I first saw you, I saw love_

_And the first time you touched me, I felt love_

_And after all this time_

_You're still the one I love _

"Damn it, ain't that the truth," Sarah said, looking into his eyes, and she molded herself against him, not caring who was watching as they danced.

_mmm, yeah_

_Looks like we made it_

_Look how far we've come my baby_

_We mighta took the long way_

_We knew we'd get there someday_

"I don't know if we could have made it a longer way," Chuck said, making her throw back her head and laugh. She looked Chuck in the eye, and the two danced as if no one else were there.

_They said, "I bet they'll never make it"_

_But just look at us holding on_

_We're still together still going strong_

_You're still the one I run to_

_The one that I belong to_

_You're still the one I want for life_

_(You're still the one)_

_You're still the one that I love_

_The only one I dream of_

_You're still the one I kiss good night_

They heard cheering and looked around, and the entire crowd had circled around. They heard, "About time!" "I knew it!" "Finally!" Sarah looked at Chuck, who shrugged.

"Seems we were the last to know," Chuck said.

"Nah, we were the last to accept it," Sarah replied.

}o{

The night was filled with memories, apologies, a hotel with a beach view, and a totally adult night in their hotel room. The year rolled on, Sarah's birthday came and went. The summer was full of family fun with the two kids. Summer ended, and September rolled around. He awoke the morning of his birthday, feeling many eyes on him. There stood his wife, son, and daughter, with his wife holding a cupcake.

"Happy birthday, Chuck," Sarah said. "I love you."

* * *

A/N: Yeah, this was supposed to be the year they originally got together. I never would have made it. This is the beginning of the end. Two more short epiloguish chapters, both relatively short. See you soon.

DC


	23. Ch 23, 31st Birthday

A/N: I had to do this. I just HAD to.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

Chuck sat down to watch the finale of _Zack_. His two children were asleep in their rooms, and Chuck, sitting by himself, found himself reflective. His thirtieth birthday had come and gone without too much fanfare from him. He had friends who had freaked out at thirty. But _his_ best friend had been there for him, talking to him about everything he was feeling.

Chuck made a face at the screen. He couldn't believe they had built the female lead up for five years to make her lose her memory. What were they thinking? He shook his head and kept watching. Sarah was turning thirty this year, and she seemed to have no worries. He looked over at her, noticing she looked uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I kind of wish that you could lose part of your memory, that of how I treated you all those years ago," she said, shrugging.

"Come 'ere," he said, and she came over, sat on his lap, and snuggled against him. "Sarah, I would have that, because some of those bad times, it hammered home how much you meant to me. It reminded me that you are worth fighting for."

"But you didn't," she said softly, tears coming down her face.

"Because I thought you didn't want me," Chuck replied.

"I know, but… God, Chuck, there were days I just wanted you to try, because of what I was going through. There were days that… I wanted to be loved the way I knew you would love me."

"I'm sorry," he said softly, and she quickly sat up.

"No, I'm not blaming you," she said, her hand on his chest. "Baby, no, I'm not blaming you, it's just…"

"Sarah, we're together."

"I know, but seeing those two… It just reminded me how hard everything is."

"You're worth it," Chuck said, kissing her hand.

"Buster, you better know that you're worth it," she said, kissing him lightly. She turned her head back to the TV. "She's going to remember everything when she kisses him."

"How do you know?" Chuck asked.

"One, they foreshadowed it in season 3 when she kissed him and his mind was destroyed," she began.

"Oh yeah, Phase three… whatever that meant," Chuck said.

"Two, people who love each other like that… is would shatter any block or anything that would stop her from remembering."

"What if that faulty interloop or whatever they called it, took away her memory?" Chuck asked.

She turned to him, placing her hand on his chest. "Chuck, she never forgot him _here_. She can't forget him, but she can't remember him, which is what's scaring her. She might leave, but she can't stay away, because she's missing a part of herself. It's like an arm missing or something. But it can be reconnected, and her heart knows it." She grinned at him. "And if she kisses him…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "She'll remember it all."

"That's me," Chuck said softly, as she looked at him. "If I was missing those bad years, I would still be missing amazing things and I'd want to know… I'd _need_ to know, Sarah."

"I don't know why you love me. I don't know what I did to make you love me. But God, I am glad I did."

The show went to black. "That's crap!" he said, sitting up. She was grinning at him. "What?"

"They're together baby, they made it, just like us."

"Yeah, we did, didn't we?" he agreed. "I love you Sarah."

}o{

Chuck threw Sarah a huge thirtieth party… he even managed to get Zondra to show up. Jack made an appearance but didn't stay long. _Some people don't get a happy ending_ echoed in Chuck's brain. The summer continued and soon ended, with September rolling around as normal.

Chuck opened his eyes on the morning of his birthday, and there sat Sarah, grinning at him, holding his cupcake.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck," she said. "I love you."

* * *

A/N: I know it's short, but that had to be done, and I had nothing else. Ch 24 is even shorter, but I think it's the perfect ending/epilogue. Again, if you have ideas, let me know and maybe I'll post something down the road.

DC


	24. Ch 24, 34th Birthday

A/N: It's pretty much over, but I thought this would be nice a little epilogue, not long but I think just enough to make you smile. One more time, with FEELING!

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

"Mom, who's that?" Molly asked Sarah, staring out the window. Morgan, Anna, and Josh were moving in down the street, and Molly was watching.

"Molly, you know Uncle Morgan, Aunt Anna, and Josh," Sarah said with a grin.

"Why does Josh look so unhappy?"

"Because he had to leave all of his friends where he lived," Chuck explained, walking into the living room and peering out the window. He turned to Sarah. "Probably a really sad day for him, don't you think, baby?" Sarah grinned and walked over to Chuck, slipping her arm around him.

"Probably could use a friend," Sarah agreed. She grinned up at him. "Take it from me, sometimes boys can use a girl friend."

"Ew," Molly said. "No kissing, just no."

Chuck walked over to the bookshelf, looked at Sarah, and she nodded at him. "Maybe he might like this," Chuck said, handing Molly Care Bears #1.

"But, Daddy, that's your special comic book!" Molly protested.

Chuck looked Sarah right in the eye. "It's the thought that counts," he said with a shrug.

"Besides, he doesn't really like Care Bears," Sarah said, backhanding him in the chest. "Go, take it to Josh, and introduce yourself." Molly took the comic, then headed off. Sarah and Chuck stood in the window watching, and she swore she felt a side hug she hadn't felt for many years. "Granny would have told her to do the same thing," she said softly.

"Yeah, I never did get to properly thank her for what she did for me," Chuck admitted.

"Yeah, you did. You promised to watch over me, Chuck, and you have," Sarah said. She kissed him on the cheek and disappeared down the hall. A minute later she returned, a cupcake in her hand, the candle lit.

"Happy Birthday, Chuck."

* * *

A/N: Full circle….Listen, I have a lot of people to thank for this. Mojo, PeterOinNYC, and JoeWatkins, you guys got me through this thing, and helped me keep my sanity. I cannot thank you three enough. Seriously. For everyone who sent a PM, a review, or however you contacted me, thank you. You guys know I was out of my depth with this one, and I know I said I'd never do anything like this again, but I said the same thing after Broken, so who knows, the right story that NEEDS to be told, I might. I doubt it, but I might. I call those two my OTP for a reason. Confession time, many nights after writing, I'd go read Steampunk . Chuckster's The Bartowskis vs The Suburbs. (If you haven't, do) It's set post finale, Sarah's memory not returning, but she's with him, in love. I kept thinking they can overcome anything, but I tell you, there were times in this fic….I was just…spent, emotionally. Again, thank you for reading and supporting me. It will be fluffball city for awhile. YES, Comeback is about to make a comeback, Traitor is close to finished, and then I'll work on Collison. I'm still kicking around the season 3 one. I hear you guys loud and clear, it's just, I gotta watch some source material for S3 and well…you know. Again, thank you all, and I'll see you soon. And some of you all go write something. I NEED something to read.

DC


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